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EleCivil

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Blog Entries posted by EleCivil

  1. EleCivil

    Six Months

    By EleCivil,

    The oncologist says that my dad has six months (maximum) to live.
    People have been coming over to visit. My grandma, my cousin, old family friends who we haven't seen in years. It's weird - the last time I saw my cousin was about ten years ago, when HER dad (my uncle) died of lung disease. And before that? A funeral for another distant relative. It's like we only see each other when someone is dead or dying. She's cool, though. She's from this tiny town, so she's amazed by the "big city" things like traffic lights (they only have a couple stop signs where she's from) and people who don't match their shoes (okay, so that was just me) and the fact that she can't find a country music station on the radio (ah, Lawd). At one point, she asks what we city people do for fun. My mom and I look at each other, shrug, turn back to her and say "We read books." She looks disappointed, like she was expecting us to say "Wild meth-fueled orgies."
    Anyway, it's finals week. I just got done taking my Bio final - no sweat, there. Just four more days 'til freedom.
  2. EleCivil
    Titles don't work when you make as little sense as this.
    As an arachnophobic agoraphobe, my two biggest fears in the world are spiders and humans, but not necessarily in that order. If I had to choose between being locked in a room full of spiders or a room full of people, though, I'd probably take the spiders. After all, not only is it more socially acceptable to kill spiders rather than people, but it's also a lot easier. I suppose it would be possible to kill a person with nothing but my shoe or a rolled-up newspaper, but it would take a lot longer, and the other people in the room would probably stop me before I got even halfway there.
    Which brings me to my job. My company has people working all kinds of places in all kinds of states, ranging from lumber yards in Virginia to skyscrapers full of lawyers in Michigan. After trying out a few different kinds of sites (a convent, a warehouse, a parking lot, an apartment building, etc.) I finally settled on a small trucking company. No people - completely deserted - but tons of spiders. I could deal with that - I just always brought along a copy of Steven King's book "The Tommyknockers". Whenever a spider came close, I'd introduce them to the mainstream horror genre with a mighty King Swing ™. Splattering spiders, I might add, it the best possible use for a copy of "The Tommyknockers" - beats the hell out of reading it.
    I just found out that my small, independent trucking company is being bought out by FedEx National. This means a lot more money for the owners, more work and less money for the drivers, and an end to my "Tons of spiders, but at least there's no people" compromise. Now, there's going to be spiders AND people. Which is almost as bad as working next to Spiderman. Sure, he's good at stopping runaway trains, but come on - a spider, AND a man? Screw you, Stan Lee. It's like you were specifically trying to get to me.
    ---
    The above was just an experiment to see what would happen if I typed for ten minutes without hitting backspace.
    Only two more days until TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY. The greatest holiday in the history of holidays. I've got my pirate suit ready to go.
    Just the other day, my friend's little sister came over, because she wanted to play with my cat. She asked me "Why do you have so many skulls in your room?", referring to all the Jolly Roger flags that I've got hanging. I replied, "I'm a pirate." She gave me this awestruck look and said "Really? You were born a pirate?" I nodded. "Aye. I was flying the black flag way before Johnny Depp made it cool." Then, I switched to a gravely pirate accent and added "I also download music without the consent of the recording industry and completely disregard end-user license agreements, m'lass." She didn't get that part, so I gave her a stick of gum. Arrrrr.

    "We have no nation but the sea, no creed but that we will live free!
    We'll loot and burn all that we can that's run by a dishonest man.
    Their end is near, and there is no denying...when they see the black flag flying!"


    -"Black Flag Flying" by David Rovics


  3. EleCivil
    It's been a while since I've posted here, so I've got a few stories.
    More relatives have been coming to visit my dad. Second cousins and great-uncles from the hills and mountain towns who I've never met before. I've never fit in with my dad's side of the family - they're from the mountains of Pennsylvania, really small-town, rural places. Their main interests and talking points are sports, intra-family gossip, and God, in that order. Three topics that I can't really say anything about, since I don't follow sports, I don't know any gossip, and I don't believe in God. As such, I usually just stay quiet when they're around and shrug off their criticisms-disguised-as-questions ("You're such a handsome young man - why do you go and shave your head like that?" "Why don't your socks match?" "Why do you have that pirate flag flying from your window? What, you think you're tough?" "Why don't you play football? What do you mean, your college doesn't have any sports teams? What kind of a school is that?" "You want to be a teacher? Isn't it mostly women who do that?").
    Some relatives from my Mom's side have been visiting, too. That's the side of the family I've always fit in with. One of my uncles is a systems-admin and a juggler/unicyclist. One works for NASA and writes poetry. My Grandpa on that side died before I was old enough to get to know him, but I understand he was some kind of working class hero who marched with the unions and read Shakespeare to his fellow migrant rail-workers, teaching them English as they sat around the campfires. I only got to hang out with them for a couple minutes, though, because I had to go to work on the day they came.
    ---
    Something weird happened the other day. My mom tells me that she was outside when one of the local girls came up and started grilling her about me - "Is that your son? How old is he? He likes punk music, right? And he juggles, right?" And then, this girl who I've never met tells my mom - MY MOM, the preacher's wife - that she thinks I'd look pretty hot in chains and leather. GOOD. LORD. So now my parents are laughing about me being some kind of secret bondage freak going around corrupting the local high school girls. Eh...heh.
    ---
    I was out walking during a thunderstorm earlier tonight. I like walking in the rain. It kicks all your senses into overdrive - listening to the static of the raindrops, feeling the little wet explosions all over your skin, smelling and tasting the water on the air, watching the bubbles erupting from the gasoline rainbows on the pavement - it's the best. But today, it was raining so heavily that the storm drains started to back up, and before I knew it, I was knee-deep in water. Now, as soon as I felt the cold water sloshing over my shoes, I started up a nicely flowing stream of profanities that only intensified as it deepened, while I slogged through in search of higher ground.
    Somewhere in the midst of my soaked swear-storm, I changed gears. I shouted to the trees that there was now enough water in my shoes to form at least two new Great Lakes - Lake Shoe-perior and Lake On-toe-rio. I then looked around, and told the streetlights that I hoped that the swearing had scared off any listeners, because I'd hate to think that someone had just heard that terrible, terrible pun.
  4. EleCivil

    Currentlies.

    By EleCivil,

    Haven't updated the blog in a while, so here's what's going on in a convenient list format:
    Currently on: Spring break
    Currently reading: That Thou Art: Teachings of the Upanishads by Ramakrishna (the "secret teachings" of Hinduism); Snow Crash by Stephenson.
    Currently playing: Phoenix Wright, Ace Attorney - Justice for All.
    Currently writing: Laika, Chapter 14; Untitled Short Story; Overlight Strays, Chapter 1 (Yes, a new novel...but don't expect to be seeing it any time soon.)
    Currently listening: "Mutiny!" by Set Your Goals; "Plays Pretty for Baby" by The Nation of Ulysses; "Plays Ugly for Suckers" by The Yah Mos Def.
    Currently looking forward to: Student-teaching (next week), the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie (going with a friend on opening night).
    Currently NOT looking forward to: Mid-term exams, wearing "professional" clothes for student-teaching (they can take my ratty jeans and untucked shirts, but they'll never take my FREEDOM!...that is to say, my mismatched socks.)
    Currently watching: The promotional search-lights from all the nearby adult stores and strip clubs sweeping across the overcast night sky, reminding us all that we live in a red light district. Seriously, this neighborhood's got so much porno per capita that it's actually reasonable to measure it in terms of per capita.
    Currently typing: While standing on one foot and whistling "We Shall Not be Moved".
    Hi-ho.
  5. EleCivil

    Black Friday (HLS pt. 2)

    By EleCivil,

    Second day on the Holiday Loser Squad. This time, it's me (security), a linehaul trucker (older dude with a bushy grey beard), and a dock worker (thirty-ish guy with lots of tattoos).
    So, I'm walking the parimiter, locking things up and such, and, thanks to listening to that Taj Motel Trio CD so much, I've got a song in my head - their cover of "My Girl" by The Temptations. Without realizing it, I start whistling.
    As I walk past where the others are standing, the linehauler starts singing the bassline - "bum, duh-duh-duh-duh-duh, bum...", and starts walking next to me. The dock worker follows.
    He does the bassline a few times, and when I catch on to what he's doing, I join in with "I got sunshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine....on a cloudy daaaaaay. When it's cold outsiiiiiiiiiiiide...IIIIII got the month of Maaaaaay...."
    The dock worker joins in: "I guess you'll say...what could make me feel this way?"
    All three: "My girl!" "My girl!" "My girl!" "Talkin' 'bout myyyyy giiiiirl..." "My girl!"
    So we keep going until the song's over. Yes, we all knew it - when you live this close to Mo-Town, you pretty much have to. So, there we are, three tone-deaf white guys, belting out a Temptations song in an off-key attempt at three-part harmony (with occasional call-backs and improvisation).
    We finish the song, go our separate ways, and never mention it.
    Remember when I said that yesterday was the most fun I'd had at work? I think today just topped it. Once again, thank you, Taj Motel Trio.
    "I've got so much honey,
    The bees envy me.
    I've got a sweeter song, baby,
    Than the birds in the trees."


    -"My Girl" by The Temptations


  6. EleCivil

    Christmastoberfest

    By EleCivil,

    "Haji was a punk
    Just like any other boy
    And he never had no trouble
    'Til he started up his oi band
    Safe in the garage
    Or singing in the tub
    Till Haji went too far
    And he plugged in at the pub.
    'Twas a cold Christmas Eve
    When Trevor and the skins
    Popped in for a pint
    And to nick a bag of crisps
    Trevor liked the music
    But not the unity
    He unwound Haji's turban
    And he knocked him to his knees.
    If god came down on Christmas Day
    I know exactly what he'd say
    He'd say "Oi to the punks and Oi to the skins
    But Oi to the world and everybody wins!"
    Haji was a bloody mess
    He ran out thru the crowd
    He said "We'll meet again,
    We are bloody, yet unbowed"
    Trevor called his bluff
    And told him where to meet
    Christmas day on the roof
    Down at 20 Oxford street
    If god came down on Christmas Day
    I know exactly what he'd say
    He'd say "Oi to the punks and Oi to the skins
    But Oi to the world and everybody wins!"
    On the roof with the nunchucks
    Trevor broke a lot of bones
    But Haji had a sword like that guy in Indiana Jones
    Police sirens wailing,
    A bloody dying man
    Haji was alone
    And abandoned by his band
    Trevor was there fading
    And still so full of hate
    When the skins left him there
    And went down the fire escape (Oi! Oi!)
    But then Haji saw the north star shining more then ever
    So he made a tourniquet from his turban, saving Trevor
    Then repelled down the roof
    With the rest of the turban
    And went back to the pub
    Where they bought each other bourbon
    If god came down on Christmas Day
    I know exactly what he'd say
    He'd say "Oi to the punks and Oi to the skins
    But Oi to the world and everybody wins!"
    If god came down on Christmas Day
    I know exactly what he'd say
    He'd say "Oi to the punks and Oi to the skins
    But Oi to the world and everybody wins!" "


    -"Oi to the World" by The Vandals


  7. EleCivil

    Octopus Shoes

    By EleCivil,

    I'm very, very close to finishing the next chapter of Laika. I'm going to take my laptop to work today and finish it there (hopefully). I plan to send it in tomorrow.
    I was talking to a friend of mine the other night. He goes to a different school, where he tutors Logic and Western Philosophy. I tutor Logic and Eastern Philosophy. We started talking around midnight and then debated names v. properties for four hours, then passed out on the floor until noon. The highlight reel would include lines like "That lamp is markedly different from Chicago," "Hitler and Ghandi...they were both people, right?", "That object of infinite potential that is currently residing on your foot could, indeed, be called a 'shoe' right now, but if I removed it from your foot and threw it on the ice at a hockey game, it could be called an 'octopus'," and, finally, "FUCK! Descartes only needed to spend ONE PAGE on this, and then he was DONE. That's why Western philosophy makes so much more sense."
    Also, I'm working on a top secret project that I plan to release by the end of summer. No more details, though.
    "With the music execution and the talk of revolution,
    It bleeds in me and it goes...
    Give 'em the boot the roots the radicals!
    Give 'em the boot you know I'm a radical!
    Give 'em the boot the roots the reggae on my stereo..."


    -"Roots Radicals" by Rancid


  8. EleCivil
    First, I've got running water. That may not sound like much, but I've been without running water for the last week. No toilets, no sinks, no showers. It smelled like a locker room, since nobody could bathe or shave or do laundry. I showered at the gym, and eventually I got sick of my half-assed beard and shaved in a nearby creek in the woods (I never felt more like Thoreau). But now I can shower at home again! And drink water! God, I missed drinking water!
    Second, I'm back in school. Turns out my adviser scheduled me for two classes at the same time, and didn't even think to give me a time-turner. Plus, on my schedule, it says that one of those classes takes place in a building that does not yet exist. I guess I'll go stand in the big field that's marked off for the construction of said building and see if anyone else shows up. It is an ecology class, after all - maybe it's outside.
    Third, I got into another Educational Methods class, which means more student-teaching. A full month, this time. You know what that means? More "professional attire". Ugh. I hate clothes shopping, because there's no section for me. I'm too old for the "Boys" section, too immature for the "Mens" section. They need to put in a "Dudes" section. Clothes for dudes. Dudes like me. Because for now, I have to buy regular professional clothes and just stick in a few safety pins for added flavor.
    Fourth, a friend of mine got into a really bad car accident. Like, his car was in two halves. Everybody was okay, for the most part. He looked really bad - he had a cut on his ear, which dripped all the way down his throat, making it look like his throat was slit. He decided to not wash it off and sleep on the kitchen floor that night to scare the hell out of his roommate. Heh. It happened just before midnight, on the night before his 21st birthday. So, much like his 1st birthday, he spent the first few minutes of it screaming and covered in blood. He didn't appreciate it when I pointed that out - not because he'd just been through a bad accident, but because it reminded him that he was celebrating the anniversary of sliding from his mother's gooey birth canal, and he didn't really want that image in his head before he fell asleep. Luckily for him, he had just turned twenty-one - old enough to drink, and thus wipe it from his memory.
    Last...the other day, there was a huge thunderstorm right when I got off work. As I'm leaving, my boss walks up and tells me to be careful on the drive home. I nod to her and say that I will, and she grabs my hands, looks into my eyes, and in the most serious voice I've heard, whispers "You come back to me, Civil. You come back to me." Now, she's always talking about how much she loves her employees, but I'm pretty sure that I've now seen my boss's pre-makeout face. And that's just weird.
    "He's at the show, talkin' feminism to get inside your pants,
    Oh yeah, he'll quote Emma Goldman, but he'll never get up to dance!"


    -"Stop Being So Cool and Get Silly" by Wingnut Dishwashers' Union


  9. EleCivil

    Thanksgiving (HLS pt. 1)

    By EleCivil,

    I'm a member of the Holiday Loser Squad - the group that works on Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Independence Day, and the rest. That means that on days like this, I get the whole place to myself. Well, usually. Sometimes I have to share it with one or two other HLS members, but that's cool.
    I brought my iPod along and, while walking around, doing my thing, I decided to listen to The Taj Motel Trio's album "Life of the Party". For those unfamiliar, they're a third-wave ska/punk band, and that's the single most dancable album I've ever heard. So, since no one was there, I saw no reason to abstain from an early-morning one-man skankfest. Yes, while in full uniform, complete with a tie, matching socks (ugh), and a long snow-patrol coat.
    As a result, it was easilly the best day I've had at work all year. Thank you, Taj Motel Trio.
    Also, I was able to smuggle in my laptop and finish a chapter of Laika. I sent it in just now.
  10. EleCivil

    Shazzam.

    By EleCivil,

    First of all, I want to say thanks to everyone who replied, IM'd, or emailed me after my last post. I really appreciate it.
    Don't worry about me. I'd been spending the last year or so in denial about it, but I've known it was coming. It was just that Saturday was the day that my Dad actually asked me if I would quit school and go to work, and that made things kind of boil over. BUT, when I boil over, it's usually only for a day or two, then I get distracted by something else and bounce back, being the bouncing soul that I am.
    So, back to normal (or as close as I ever get to it). Hi-ho.
  11. EleCivil

    Freedom and Macaroni

    By EleCivil,

    As of last night, I am done with this semester. I've written roughly 70 pages of cited, academic papers over the course of the last week, and my brain is fried.
    I was in the student union, working on a five-hour study session for a final exam - four textbooks spread out across the table along with seven different bundles of stapled paper, me in the middle, flipping madly between them, pausing only to write something down. I finally finish up, close the books, and lean back, taking a deep breath. This guy from my philosophy class who I've only talked to once or twice happened to be sitting nearby. He looks over at me and says "...Ping-pong break?" I say "Hell yes", and we proceed to the ping-pong table.
    Now, neither of us is a pro at table tennis, but we've both got advantages - I'm a juggler, so I'm really good at judging where an object is going to land based on the top two inches or so of its arc, and he's roughly seven feet tall, so he can reach anything without taking a step. 'Twas an epic match, indeed - since we were both at the same skill level, we were able to keep going for long periods of time from each serve. Other people put down their books to watch. He stood there, never having to move his feet, hitting everything that I sent at him, while I kept moving, jumping to exactly the right spot to hit it back. In the end, I won, but just barely. And then I went on to take an exam in Modern World Lit, which wasn't nearly as competitive (it pretty much just sat there and let me write all over it).
    Also, as I was typing this, Jest (the roommate) walked by and handed me a macaroni necklace, saying "I made this for you today." That's a lie, because I was with him all day and there were no strings or noodles anywhere near us, but I put it on anyway. So now I'm free from school and rockin' the noodles.
    Currently Listening: "As Free As The Rent We Don't Pay" by Johnny Hobo and the Freight Trains

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