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Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?

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Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?

GEORGE W. BUSH

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the

road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our

side of the road or not. The chicken is either

with us or it is against us. There is no middle

ground here.

AL GORE

I invented the chicken. I invented the road.

Therefore, the chicken crossing the road

represented the application of these two different

functions of government in a new, reinvented way

designed to bring greater services to the American

people.

BILL CLINTON

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What

do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken,

please?

RALPH NADER

The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road

had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed.

The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on

the other side of the road because it was crushed by

the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV

PAT BUCHANAN

To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

COLIN POWELL

I have aerial photo's showing the chicken did cross

the road --notice the arrow beside the chicken track.

RUSH LIMBAUGH

I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but

I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross

the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already

forming a support group to help chickens with

crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this?

How much more of this can real Americans take?

Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax

dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about

your money, money the government took from you

to build roads for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART

No one called to warn me which way that chicken

was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's

market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a

certain level. No little bird gave me any insider

information.

JERRY FALWELL

Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't

you people see the plain truth in front of your face?

The chicken was going to the "other side."

That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my

friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that

chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott

all chickens until we sort out this abomination that

the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly

harmless phrases like "the other side."

DR. SEUSS

Did the chicken cross the road?

Did he cross it with a toad?

Yes, The chicken crossed the road, but why

it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY

To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to

cross roads without having their motives called into

question.

GRANDPA

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed

the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed

the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be

listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the

heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious

case of molting and went on to accomplish its

life-long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON

Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX

It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were

quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

VOLTAIRE

I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will

defend to the death its right to do it.

RONALD REAGAN

Well... What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER

You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How

many more chickens have to cross before you believe

it?

SIGMUND FREUD

The fact that you are at all concerned that the

chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying

sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES

I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not

only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important

documents, and balance your checkbook and

Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road

move beneath the chicken?

JOHNNY COCHRAN

It was because the road was black and the chicken

was white. We must acquit.

THE BIBLE

And God came down from the heavens, and He said

unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And

the chicken crossed the road, and there was much

rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDER

I missed one?

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