A Scent Of Love

[DesDownunder]

A Scent Of Love.?

By DesDownunder

The stranger stood up as I turned around,

And the next I knew I was on the ground,

He bent over me with his hair in his eyes,

?You smell nice,? I said with surprise.

He was shocked I could tell,

And I thought he was going to yell,

Until he reached out to give me has hand,

?You?re cute,? he said as he helped me stand.

We looked at each other flushed red in the face,

Boldly, I asked him to come home to my place,

And all night long our love did flow,

Six months later he said, ?I have to go.?

I stood at the door and waved him goodbye,

Then threw myself on to the bed and had a good cry,

I loved him and would forever I could tell,

For all over the sheets was his dizzying smell.

I could see where his head had dented the pillow,

And if it could talk it would say, ?Let me turn yellow,

Rather than be washed and hung on the line,

To then not posses this smell divine.?

No room in the house allowed me to flee,

From him or his memory,

Because I had suffered a home invasion,

By his smell from which there was no evasion.

All through the days and nights that followed,

My mind and soul felt hollowed,

Mornings came and when nights fell,

I imagined again his wonderful smell.

I looked east and west as weeks went by,

And to the north and south I did try,

But there was no sight or sign,

Of the man who smelt so fine.

Years passed and became times of lost chances,

From all the young men and their loving advances,

But I was depressed, and an empty shell,

For I loved a man with a particular smell.

It seems to me that wherever I wander,

A certain tang in the air tempts me to wonder,

If my beau is nearby with his lusty smell,

Or am I insane or just in Hell?

There?s a smell in my head from this nose of mine,

That cannot be fixed with a glass of wine,

I must get out and about to get some fresh air,

To find a way to stop this smell of despair.

The supermarket has rows of air fresheners,

With sterile and clinical odours,

And stinky children running astray,

There goes one now, straight into a display.

Bottles crash and break on the floor,

While the kid runs out the door,

Broken chunks of glass remained,

Sitting in liquid they once contained.

?Clean up in aisle seven,? came a voice from above,

As I thought I could smell the scent of my love,

I dipped my hand in the liquid but had to stop,

As the supermarket youth appeared with his mop,

My head bent forward to sniff my hand,

Pheromones and me, be both eternally damned,

I had given my love, my life, and my all,

To the scent from a bottle of ordinary hair oil.

In shock, I quickly stood and spun around,

Knocking the youth with his mop to the ground,

?I?m sorry?? I said looking into his eyes,

?You smell nice,? he replied with sudden surprise.

He helped fill my car with the bottles of hair oil,

Carefully packed so that they would not spoil,

And then I drove home, which wasn?t far,

With the youth tied to the top of the car.

We took all the oil inside my place,

Filling every nook, cranny and cupboard space,

We spread some oil on our bodies, arms, legs, and faces,

And as you might guess, other unmentionable places.

Sixty loving years later we live in contentment,

Having made the lasting arrangement,

To embalm us in the oil at our final farewell,

So even after life we will have this heavenly smell.

***************

(Edits: Spelling, Thanks to Trab see below)

more spelling. Thanks blue.

[Trab]

OMG Des, that's just too friggin' terrific.

One little question niggles me, the word "span" as in "In shock, I quickly stood and span around,", which I think is a typo/spelling error?

The end was hilariously touching. Well done!

[DesDownunder]

OMG Des, that's just too friggin' terrific.

One little question niggles me, the word "span" as in "In shock, I quickly stood and span around,", which I think is a typo/spelling error?

The end was hilariously touching. Well done!

I am glad you liked it Trab.

The span thing never occurred to me, so I looked it up and from WordWeb:

Verb: Spin (span, spun, spinning)

1. Revolve quickly and repeatedly around one's own axis.

On reflection I think I like your spun better than my span.

So I will edit it. Thanks for mentioning it.

I suspect span is more local than global use.

Anyway spun is more definitive to my ear.

Thanks again for your kind words.

[Tragic Rabbit]

Oh, I dunno, 'span' would be past tense of spin: Last week, the magician span the plates in his famous chinaware trick. Or something. I'm not sure it's wrong in your sentence, but it might work better for inanimate objects or for events further in the past...but that's just my feeling about the word. Technically, I imagine it's correct, it's just that 'spun' seems to fit more situations that occur to me at the moment.

Was the rhyme deliberately left out of some lines/stanzas? Line&sound patterns varied, too, was that deliberate?

Uh, the title, though. I had to snicker...and was mightily tempted to write one of my spoofs. For me, 'the scent of love' is often rather close to that of doggie doo. I think you meant it in a slightly funny way but definitely a sexier way than that. Me, I'd have changed the title to something else. 'Phermones' or 'Scent' or 'You Smell Nice' or something.

Just a thought.

TR

[DesDownunder]

Hi TR,

Thanks for your comments.

Breaking news: Spun has won!

The working title was actually "Aphrodisiac".

But I grew more attached to the indefinite, "A Scent Of Love", as you guess because it is mildly funny but also because by the time I got to the last stanza I liked the play on words of "Ascent Of Love".

Anyway I think we are stuck with the title now.

The rhythm patterns shift to stop the endless drone of constant sound patterns.

This is more musical to my ears, but then I don't like Keith Glass type repetition in music either.

They should "sound" in rhythm in any given stanza. The stress on the words when spoken should give a lyrical almost limerick lilting quality with an occasional deliberate discord for effect.

I certainly wouldn't claim 100% in achieving any of these objectives.

I also wanted different rhythm patterns to help suggest the character's frenzy of moods.

The rhymes seen to be there in each stanza to me. Which ones do you see as not matching?

I confess to only rhyming the last syllable sound at times if that is what you mean.

I meant it as a fun poem, almost a spoof in itself, but hey, if it inspires you to spoof it

please be my guest. Sounds like fun!

Your thoughts are most welcome Thank you!