Bruin Fisher Posted June 5, 2009 Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 Okay, blowing my own trumpet here. I wrote this story, Ben's Cabin, for an anthology at The Authors' Haunt on the theme of 'Mountain'. It's a bit of an experiment - there's no dialogue, at all. I was going for a fairytale flavour, a la Hans Anderson or Brothers Grimm. I want to know if you guys think it works. Or does it just come across as detached, uninvolving? Opinions, please! Thanks, folks. Link to comment
DesDownunder Posted June 5, 2009 Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 It works for me Bruin. A fable in the manner you intended, except perhaps I wanted more, maybe the end is a little sudden? Anyway that is just nitpicking, it really is fine just as it is. I particularly liked the unquestioned acceptance of the same-sex lovers, (both past and present) and the writing is quite beautiful with its mirror like descriptions of the boys succeeding their parents' idealism. A charming fable of life and love. Link to comment
colinian Posted June 6, 2009 Report Share Posted June 6, 2009 That's a wonderful story, Bruin. The way you handle the passage of time is helped by the lack of dialogue. It's easy to forget that dialogue pins the story to the present, to the moment. Narrative allows for the passage of time. I can see that the twin and his boyfriend who moved into the cabin will be there for a long time, even longer, perhaps, than Joseph and Ben. Colin Link to comment
The Pecman Posted June 6, 2009 Report Share Posted June 6, 2009 Very evocative, very moody. I liked it. Link to comment
Bruin Fisher Posted June 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 6, 2009 Thanks guys, I'm so glad you liked it. You've boosted my confidence. Now, I'll get down to writing that three-volume novel I've been planning...! Link to comment
Altimexis Posted June 7, 2009 Report Share Posted June 7, 2009 I really liked the way this story evolved. There was a lot of inference here - a very tangential approach to the original occupants being gay and to the one twin son being gay, and that the parents obviously knew, but never discussed it, but gave their son the journal because they knew. It all fit together like pieces of a puzzle. Very nice! Link to comment
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