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ONE LIFE by Ryan K.


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The Readers Rule section is temporarily wandering the ether, so I thought I'd post here.

Just wanted to say I like Ryan's new One Life quite a lot. I wonder what's in store for Tyler, brave guy. Looks like he has a lot to get through and has found some good friends to get him through it. Rare and good to see.

I also wonder just what Ryan has in mind for "Princess Sparkles." I wonder if he's going to be more than a comic or tragic foil or a villain. In person, he'd tend to set my teeth on edge. But stories have a way of pointing out difficult truths.

Ryan's doing a great job with this and with Kayden. Hope to see more soon, before uni. classes take up his semester's time. (Although I'll bet he might use writing as a welcome release from all the pressure.)

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8) Wow, quick response, and talk about responding to the readers!

Ch. 3 turns Jem's char. on his ear and makes us see he's not as freaky out-there as he seemed. Fantastic!

More good stuff on Tyler and his family, and a near-miss with Jaylin that gets a fast save.

I see there's a link to the story on mailcrew. Good deal.

Ryan, your story rocks. Hey, when will we learn more about Kayden and those guys? :: poke, poke, poke ::

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Ryan is a great guy

i got his story on my story forum as well

he is at many places like the scribblerpads site too

he is a good hearted guy and a joy to chat with

so if you have not read "One Life" do so!

beside, if he can be on 5 site. it gotta be good

and let give Aaron credit on the edit too

he is a mailcrew members and a good editor

when you have a bunch of good guys like this

how can you lose

the only lost is not to read his story

Movieguy (Pat)

and blue thank for also the view as well :)

P.S.

Kayden is good too

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I have to agree, guys.

I have been following Kayden since Chapter One on Nifty. Ryan is a great example of the kind of young writer who will always be welcome here at AwesomeDude.

And for that lil dude, Aaron, well he is great also. He'll go far in life because he does everything with a passion. I consider the entire gang at www.themailcrew.com as family here at AwesomeDude.

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I wanted to add here that I have worked closely with Aaron on several projects and I can tell you from my vantage point, he is one hell of a good editor with an exceptionally sharp eye for details. This kid will go far and I am very impressed by his talents at such a tender age. As far as the rest of the mailcrew, I love those kids alot and think the world of them all.

Paul

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It's been both a privilege and an honor for me to converse with The Mail Crew gang for the past several months. They are a remarkable bunch of young guys.

Ryan, author of Kayden and One Life is one cool guy too, with a flair for writing.

These young folks are our future, and it's looking brighter and better all the time.

-Johnny

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I think we need to start a MailCrew thread in one of the forum sections. (Going to do that right now.)

Great project, great guys. I talked with either Trey or Aaron, can't recall 'cause I goofed and didn't save it. -- But the response was quick and helpful. (General stuff, website, that kind of thing.)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Why do I start having less-than-good feelings about this story and Ryan's motivation in writing it?

The entire first half of Chapter Five seems to be aimed at leading Jaylin and therefore the reader along a carefully plotted course of deception.

I have the feeling this story is part of some creative writing assignment by one of Ryan's professors and not so much a story that Ryan wants to tell.

Although this is not a "bail point" for me, it was less than enjoyable reading.

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*** SPOILER SPACE -- This post discusses part 5, so if you haven't read it yet, wait until after you've read part 5 to read this post! ***

*** SPOILER SPACE -- Don't want to spoil anything for the fans. ***

Well, I thought he handled it pretty well. He had me believing they were headed for derailment and breakup.

I think he achieved his point about relationships, assumptions, breakups, rapprochement (reconciliation, lit. re-approach, not reproach).

I didn't feel it was roughly written, either. I'm still impressed with Ryan's writing talent. And hey, he is young and learning how to write, and he is in college. So if it fulfills a class assignment while he's at it...go Ryan.

Was it carefully plotted? Pretty much. Could I anticipate which direction it was going? I knew it could head in one of a few directions. In that short space, there's not a lot of room to budge. It didn't seem clumsy, like one might expect of a new writer, which impressed me. If Ryan wants to experiment with plotting, that's cool.

Was it misdirecting the reader? Yes and no. Jaylin believed it; the reader believed it. Is that misdirecting, given the chapter's end? Alright, yes, but again, isn't that what the chapter's about, is how they drift away and nearly lose their relationship, then rejoin?

Just IMHO. That's my pocket change, lint extra.

Maybe I should keep quiet and wait for others to reply first? Perhaps I should give that point some thought. -- Hey, somebody else post, huh?

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Although this is not a "bail point" for me, it was less than enjoyable reading.

Dude, I have to ask - was it less than enjoyable simply because you were looking for, or expecting, a "feel-good" story?

I will admit that I ran through a gamut of emotions reading chapter five. The ending, in particular, was very much heart-felt. The emotions were not always positive.

Does this make it less enjoyable? If I'm looking for something to make me feel good, then I'd have to say yes. If I'm looking for something that I can emotionally relate to, then I would have to say no.

The ending is obviously setting things up for something to happen in chapter six that is not going to be "feel-good", though the outcome may be - depends on where Ryan wants to take the story, and how well he writes it.

Maybe I can just relate more to depressing stories than you (though I hate reading them) but the most memorable parts of stories I've read are usually split pretty much evenly between points of triumph, tragedy and significant plot twists.

Graeme

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Good point Graeme....

I am a broadcast journalist... and currently work for "America's GLBT Radio Station." Everyday I have to read stories about gay bashing... gay teens murdered because of their sexual orientation... you know, that kind of stuff.

For that reason... I prefer something that makes me feel good when I curl up in bed in the evening with the wireless laptop. Like to leave the depressing stuff behind....

That is my own personal point of view... and I guess there are those who would agree with it.. and others who would disagree.

Just putting it out there....

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Aaron here, with Billy, Trey and Eric,

All nine of the guys of our crew like stories that attack the popular myth that most gay guys are promiscuous, bed-hopping sex machines who are not capable of truly and faithfully loving a life partner. We think Ryan attacked that myth very nicely in "One Life" and we hope all of you read it. It does become overwhelming in Part Six. We know some readers have stopped reading before finishing Part Six, and have not gone on to read the epilogue. :( We hope you guys will stick with the story to the end. We really think you'll be glad you did.

Thank you, Dude, for deciding to keep the story here at AwesomeDude. We think Ryan has made an important contribution to the world of gay fiction. That's just the consensus of a bunch of kids, though.

Best regards to all,

Aaron, for The Mail Crew

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No spoilers in my reply, for the sake of those who haven't read it yet. Read both ch. 6 and the Epilogue, but they're difficult.

Ch. 6 and the Epilogue were difficult to read. But wow, can Ryan write. Ryan, you've got one devious mind, buddy. And to think that these are some of the first things you've written! Wow. Keep that talent coming. I'm looking forward to your future stuff. (Even though, at the moment, I'd like to give you severe noogies for that!)

-- Eu, gar?on emb?tant! Si dificile! Si troublant! Ecrivain d?vieux!

-- Ooh, beastly boy! So difficult! So troublesome! Devious writer!

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Michael made some excellent points on Ryan's One Life, but unfortunately they were posted far from the original thread so I'm going to try to bring them closer to home here at the New Writers Series forum.

It is technically tricky to do this with the limited control I have over this forum software so here's what we'll do.

With this message, I'm locking this thread. The thread will continue under ONE LIFE - POST MORTEM below. Please go there for further postings as the ending of the story is out of the bag ... or closet.

If you haven't finished reading Ryan Keith's One Life, please do so now as the following thread will have spoilers for you you.

Thanks,

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