The Inheritance Clause

[vwl]

You know early where this is going, but the trek is worth taking and there are surprises.  Nicely written.

 

https://nifty.org/nifty/gay/relationships/the-inheritance-clause/

[Merkin]

Twenty-five posted episodes so far and this is still wonderfully entertaining.  Filled with twists and turns and unpredictable conundrums.  Hints of its end are on the horizon but who knows what will happen next.

[Jason Rimbaud]

I just finished the posted twenty five chapters.

I want to start off by saying I really thought the premise was entertaining, I loved the mysteries throughout the story, and overall I enjoyed this story thus far. Is it perfect? Nope, but I did enjoy my time with this story. I enjoyed the last seven or six chapters the most as it dealt with the aftermath of their inheritance, plus it was the only part of the narrative with even a hint of conflict. The first twenty chapters or so are blissfully conflict free. Just a bunch of comforting back rubs, soft bicep touching, lots of crying so we can have the same scene play out in different locations with the only reason is to show how amazing our two protagonists really are. 

And thats the big issue for me, we have two perfect protagonists. They are always the smartest people in the room, they never argue about anything, they are in sync perfectly, and they have zero conflict between them and always seem to know the perfect thing to say to make things better. Did I mention? They are also twenty-two years old and have just inherited 800 million dollars.

We have multiple scenes of them talking, one will cry, the other will offer a comforting back rub, then in the next scene, the two are reversed and scene repeats. There are so many descriptions of comforting back rubs, soft bicep touching, I actually started to count. The number over all twenty five chapters is truly astounding. Let's forget about the swimming lesson scenes, or the shower scenes, or the weirdly erotic jerking off scenes that don't go far enough yet are too long at the same time. And just for fun, "They went into their separate bathrooms and heard each other peeing, they both laughed." That's it, just one sentence, no dialogue about why hearing the other pee was funny, nothing, just that statement. Eight or ten scenes where one fixes the others hair, same dialogue, some descriptions, same shower scenes. 

Yet even with all its flaws, I actually enjoyed reading it. The characters are fun, there are moments of great narrative and playful banter between the two leads. So should you read it? Yes. I can tell the author took the time to work out the multiple mysteries with believable solutions, though most of them are pretty obvious, and the overall plot is really solid. 

I am worried they are going to move into that category of story where the author doesn't know where to end the story. I think it should have ended in chapter twenty-two, the main storyline is wrapped up. But if you've read that far, then you know why the author is continuing, Rosemary Point and the need to finally get there. 

So read it, don't notice the back rubs or you might end up like me laughing on the train and get weird looks. 

J

[Merkin]

Chapter 27: the most amazing, startling chapter yet.  The entire story shifts perspective.