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FOX REPORTS BAD NEWS

White House Demands InvestigationIn a stunning departure from its standard operating procedure, the Fox News Channel began reporting bad news last week, startling its viewers and prompting the White House to launch a full-fledged investigation of the cable news giant.

Initially, the White House elected to take a ?wait and see? attitude towards Fox?s foray into reporting bad news, hoping perhaps that the network?s decision to report stories that were unflattering to the government was merely an aberration, or perhaps the result of a clerical error.

But as the days wore on, the White House grew increasingly impatient with Fox?s persistent reporting of bad news and became determined to put a stop to it.

?This is the sort of monkey business we expect to see from CNN or MSNBC, but not Fox,? a visibly agitated White House spokesman Scott McClellan told reporters on Monday. ?If Fox continues to report bad news, it could very well have its license revoked.?

For his part, on Tuesday President Bush offered a more terse comment about Fox?s decision to report bad news: ?This will not stand. Not on my watch.?

Later, Mr. Bush softened his tone somewhat, telling reporters that the White House ?must wean itself from its dependence on Fox and must develop alternative sources of news.?

Rupert Murdoch, the owner of the Fox News Channel, could not be reached for comment because he was busy fighting with his relatives, a Fox spokesman said.

Elsewhere, moments after Sen. Hilary Clinton (D-NY) called for an investigation of the government?s emergency response, the White House agreed to launch an investigation of Sen. Clinton.

http://www.borowitzreport.com/archive_rpt....?rec=1211&srch=

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