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(37) The Evils of Springtime



As strange as it will seem to our Northern siblings, today is the first day of spring in Australia.

This is due to the tilt of the Earth's orbit and axis, (which, despite those who think otherwise is not part of an axis of evil), bringing the Southern Hemisphere to a greater exposure to the Sun.

Walking in space, this can be clearly be seen and is a wonderful site.

To walk in space by the way all you have to do is close your eyes and step off the edge of the world.

This also should provide you with the knowledge that any axis of evil is all in the minds of certain politicians who only see evil wherever they look.

Springtime in Australia has no relationship to Springtime for Hitler, talking about Axis of evil.

Our own evil obsessed politicians are to be voted upon in a forth coming election and the good people of Australia are intent on trying to work out the lesser of those evils to elect to power. Power of course is usually just one axis of evil after another.

Today however, the sun is shining and the birds are singing. The young men are trying on their bathing costumes and the rest of us are having evil thoughts about that.

Tanning shops are selling tans at horrendously evil prices for those who don't have enough time to bath in the sun for a natural tan, owing to the fact that they all have evil jobs that make them work till after sundown, but at least they have the money to pay for the tan.

Spring carnivals, we call them "Royal Shows," are being prepared in every state. Sales of candy floss (would you believe we call it "Fairy floss") along with rancid hot dogs in mouldy bread left over from last week's football games will be sold at evilly obscene prices, along with meat pies covered in sauce or sitting in a bowl of pea soup which we call a "pie floater."

The Royal Shows have what we call side shows with really evil rides that usually end up being quite unsafe. It is a good idea to not stand near these rides as the riders sometimes vomit up the aforementioned hot dogs or pies, or both, and it flies out all over the bystanders in the crowd. Luckily it usually rains in the afternoons and washes people clean as they head home with an evil head cold.

Spring also sets young people to fancy evil thoughts about what they would like to do to each other and thankfully for them, they usually manage to succeed in have a fun time doing it. Older people of course are obsessed with stopping them from having such fun, simply because they have forgotten how to have it themselves, or so the young think.

Anyway I will leave you to ponder the evil joys of Springtime in OZ as you Northerners head into Autumn - Fall before the evils of Winter over take you and Summer burns the hell out of us downunder.

What a wonderful World!



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I don't get it. I really don't. I always thought that the seasons were balanced. You know, winter starts in the north at the same time as summer starts in the south. Spring in the south is the same start date as autumn in the north. However, it seems that this is not true, from what Des has just told us. This brings an interesting question to mind. Are all your southern seasons offset by a month, sort of like a gigantic Daylight Saving Time, only this is Season Saving Days? Or do some of those seasons start at the same time as our northern opposites, but some of your seasons are shorter or longer than ours? I'm particularly puzzled that the Aussie spring starts on September 1. This sounds entirely too coincidental to me, and I suspect political intrigue. How do they do it in South Africa? How about Argentina and Chile? Maybe it's just Aussies though. After all, weren't they the unruly from England in the first place. Never ones to just kowtow to the powers that be: noooo, radical to a fall(t).

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Trab If I remember my high school geography etc., correctly, distance from the equator affects the length of Autumn and spring at various latitudes. Unless someone has forgotten to let me know which would be quite evil of them, December 1st is the official start of Aussie Summer, March 1st is Autumn's beginning, Winter is 1st June and September 1st is Spring.These are rather well timed for us geographically speaking as these dates do indeed seem to coincide with changes in the weather. Adelaide in March is just glorious Autumn weather.Like you, I would not be the least surprised if the evil politicians did indeed decree these dates. What dates do you have for your seasons, where you are? We Aussies are indeed radical and if there is a way for us to ignore reality we will find it and Fall all over it.

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I love Mel Brooks! Okay, I don't actually love Mel Brooks, but you know what I mean.I'm sorry it's all so evil for you. Then it's evil everywhere where politics are concerned.Speaking of Herr Hitler: he got it right with uniforms. So much so that Darth Vader copied him. Mind you, Darth never had a moustache or lederhosen.Right, 'nuff said.

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My understanding is that the dates of the seasons is based on when certain lines of latitude pass directly under the sun. When the sun is southernmost, at the Tropic of Capricorn, it is the shortest day in the north, and officially the start of winter, namely December 22. When it is the northernmost over the Tropic of Cancer, it is the longest day in the north, and shortest in the south, and the start of the northern summer, namely June 21. The dates when the sun crosses over the Equator is the start of either spring or autumn, depending on where you are. Those dates are March 21 (or 22?) and Sept 22, if I'm not horribly mistaken. There is simply no way to have this coincide with the first of any month, unless it has been politically assigned that way.

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Apropos of nothing but the title of this thread, and in admiration of Trab's pedantry (that's with an AN, not an ES, people!), and because I love the wit in this lyric, I submit the following.La la! It's May!The lusty month of May!That darling month when ev'ryone throwsSelf-control away. It's time to doA wretched thing or two.And try to make each precious dayOne you'll always rue. It's May! It's May!The month of "yes, you may,"The time for ev'ry frivolous whim,Proper or "im". It's wild! It's gay!A blot in ev'ry way.The birds and the bees with all of their vastAmorous pastGaze at the human race aghastThe lusty month of May! Tra la! It's May!The lusty month of May! That lovely month when ev'ryone goesBlissfully astray. Tra la! It's here!That shocking time of year!When tons of wicked little thoughtsMerrily appear. It's May! It's May!The month of great dismay;When all the world is brimming with fun,Wholesome or "un". It's mad! It's gay!A libelous display.Those dreary vows that ev'ryone takes,Ev'ryone breaks.Ev'ryone makes divine mistakesThe lusty month of May! Learner and Lowe have a lot to be proud of.Cole

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Camy, You are so right about Darth Vader and Herr Hitler.Mel Brooks has sent both of them up beautifully in "Space Balls" but Mel excels in his version of "To Be Or Not To Be."Trab, Yes that is absolutely correct, the dates you give refer to the equinoxes and the solstice of the Sun over the Tropics and Equator. However, the dates on the 22 of the month concerned are not the ones we use here, making me suspect the political interference we spoke of, above. Indeed I have no doubt of it.What I do not know is whether our dates are even Australia wide or just local to my state. We like to be different. :icon10: As I said above these dates on the first of the month do coincide with a distinct change in our temperature and weather patterns making them very practical. My godfather used those dates back in the 50s to change his wardrobe from one season to the next. Then again he had certain problems one wouldn't mention in polite company.Trab, to understand how this has come about please see my reply to Cole below and you may see that,We were not the first, in fact, To change the seasons' dates here, In Adelaide.Cole, what can I say. You almost read my mind. The following is the song that was actually going through my mind as I typed the original blog entry.It's true! It's true! The crown has made it clear.The climate must be perfect all the year.A law was made a distant moon ago here:July and August cannot be too hot.And there's a legal limit to the snow hereIn Camelot.The winter is forbidden till DecemberAnd exits March the second on the dot.By order, summer lingers through SeptemberIn Camelot.Camelot! Camelot!I know it sounds a bit bizarre,But in Camelot, CamelotThat's how conditions are.The rain may never fall till after sundown.By eight, the morning fog must disappear.In short, there's simply notA more congenial spotFor happily-ever-aftering than hereIn Camelot.Camelot! Camelot!I know it gives a person pause,But in Camelot, CamelotThose are the legal laws.The snow may never slush upon the hillside.By nine p.m. the moonlight must appear.In short, there's simply notA more congenial spotFor happily-ever-aftering than hereIn Camelot.(Lerner and Lowe lyrics for Camelot.) In the 1960s, Adelaide liked to think of itself as "the Camelot of the southern hemisphere" as amongst other social advances we were the first state in Australia to decriminalize homosexual acts between consenting adults. In those days our politicians were anything but evil. :omg:

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