My roommate and I went to see Jackass 2 the other day. That meant going to The Mall. Now, both of us were trailer park kids, so to us, the mall is pretty much the opposite of everything we grew up knowing. For instance, we KNEW that there was no way a clay pot could cost more than what our parents made in a month. We KNEW that t-shirts were 3 for $5 and came in bags. We KNEW that people don't actually act like they do on TV. The Mall, however, proves wrong every one of those beliefs. That's why we generally try to avoid it. Sadly, it has the only movie theater in town.
We got there early, so we had to walk around for a while. My roommate (who's straight, by the way) heads for the bathroom. On the way in, he turns to me and jokingly asks "Do you want to help me?" I shake my head and tell him that I think he's got this one under control. About two seconds later, he walks back out.
He looks around and says "Uh...some guys heard me say that."
"Yeah. One of 'em said 'fag', so I told him that that's not what his Dad said last night."
I groan. "For fuck's sake...again?"
He shrugs. "Can't help it. We should...uh, run."
We start walking away, and two guys strut out of the restroom behind us. One calls out "Hey, faggot!"
I take off my jacket and hand it to my roommate, then turn around, sighing heavilly. They kind of size us up, looking us up and down and then glancing between themselves. I get a good look at them - high school kids, dressed in "I think I'm a rebel but I paid two hundred dollars for these pants" clothes. I give them this look - just kind of cocking my head to one side, in a "did I hear you correctly?" kind of way. They shrug and walk the other way.
I take my jacket back from my roommate. "How come I'm the one that has to protect you from gay bashers?"
"'Cause you're intimidating, and I insult strangers."
Then we saw Jackass 2, and laughed for the durration. It was better than the first one.
"We say things we don't mean, but friends understand. Strength and humor don't always go hand-in-hand. A joke to you might not be so funny, so take the time and think it out before you open up your mouth."
-"Things We Say" by Gorilla Biscuits