Jump to content
  • entries
  • comments
  • views

77. Warranties and phonecalls



So here am I, aging by the second and running around trying to find some semblance of reason to the bizarre conditions of warranties.

My new all singing, all dancing, all annoying mobile phone has stopped working after 6 months. The screen is plain white and the battery won't accept a recharge. I rang the Telephone company, -on the land line phone, as the mobile was busted. Did you really think I rang on the mobile which is broken? Of course you didn't. A voice answered,

"In a few words," she says," Please tell me the purpose of your call."

"WTF is this? oh, okay, I get it...My phone is busted."

"I'm sorry," apologizes the voice, "I didn't understand you. In a few words please state the nature of your call."

"My mobile phone isn't working."

"Your phone isn't working. Does that sound right to you?"

"yes!" I want to add an expletive or two but refrain.

"Please tell me the nature of your problem."

"The friggin phone ain't able to take a friggin charge."

"Your account has been over-charged? Is that correct."



"Please press the hash key."

I press every key several times.

"Okay, I am not able to ascertain your query, please hold while I connect to a service consultant."

Musical interlude.

"Your call is important to us and has been placed in a queue." announces a recorded voice. "We are experiencing an unusually large number of calls at the moment. You may wait in the queue or press 2 and leave your phone number and we will phone you back tomorrow."

"Yeah right. Do I look stupid? I'll wait."

Musical interlude, interrupted by a commercial trying to sell me a new phone. I ignore the offer to go to 'sales' by pressing 3.

"Hello my name is Sam, how may I make you day perfect?"

I burst out laughing.

"Hello, hello...Can I help you?"

"Yes you can. Firstly tell the boss to get a new script writer, secondly shoot the auto-voice system, it doesn't work."

"Yes, we have a lot of trouble with that," says Sam.

"And thirdly," I tell him, "I want my mobile phone repaired. It is under warranty."

Certainly Sir, when was the phone purchased, what is the telephone number, which country are you in, and what seems to be wrong with the unit?"

"The unit? Oh, you mean the phone."

I supply the details he requires as quickly as I can, the sun is setting.

After several minutes of music and commercials, Sam (he sounds really cute) returns and tells me that I have a a valid claim and he will escalate my case to the senior technician who will send me details on how to get my phone repaired. In the meantime if I want to use the phone service I should buy a cheap phone and put the SIM card into it. I thank Sam and before I can invite him home for a midnight tryst, he bids me farewell and hangs-up.

The next day I buy the suggested cheap ? $60 phone, transfer the SIM card and voila, I am connected again to the mobile phone world.

Four days later, the Senior Technician sends me a return for service form, which I must sign. In it, is a clause that says I agree to being charged a minimum of $100 if they fix the phone because it is not broken under warranty. No. I check with a lawyer friend. Don't sign it he advises.

"I have no intention of signing it," I tell him.

"Wait until Monday and take it direct to the manufacturer's service department." So I will do that.

In the meantime, the laser printer is reporting a paper jam, but there is no paper jammed in it. It's under warranty. I check their website which is like trying to find your way around a brothel in the dark. You can tell someone is being badly screwed, you're just hoping it isn't you.

Finally I find a local phone number to call.

"If your enquiry is to do with a scanner please press 2,

If your enquiry is to do with a printer please press 3,

If your enquiry is to do with something else we make, please press another number..."

And so on...Finally a girl informs me she will email me with the time for the printer to be serviced...

The printer serviceman is coming Monday. They will charge me $104.50 per hour from the time he leaves their premises until the time he returns if he finds the paper jam is due to a paper jam, as that is not covered under the warranty.

Where is the Consumer Affairs phone number. Ah there it is.

"Hello, you have rung consumer affairs. If your enquiry is about..."

I hang up.



Recommended Comments

I don't mean to laugh at someone else's misery, but hardee har har. My buddy bought a printer/scanner combo and it has never worked right. He has a Mac, and the printer very clearly said that it is compatible with a Mac. Sadly, they lied. It will print one page, then stop halfway through the second page. He has to physically pull the paper out of the machine. Hewlett Packard denies it is their issue. So does Apple. As if that isn't bad enough, my buddy has a cell phone and no landline at all, and the phone numbers provided are 800 numbers, supposedly toll free, which is all very nice, but those numbers are NOT AIRTIME FREE when you use a cell phone. Going through those endless cycles of pushing buttons is eating up your money at an alarming rate. HOLD, OMG; talk about just throwing money down the drain. My own printer purchasing concept has changed. I buy the cheapest one I can find, and then pay $30 for a 3 year in store replacement warrantee. You walk into the store with the broken one, and walk out with a new one. Last time I even got an upgrade, AND they replaced my 4 laser ink cartridges with new ones, since the new machine wouldn't take the old ones and I told them I had just put in new cartridges. (Truth) The new printers come with a half 'in store' cartridge, so don't let them screw you over with a story about it being a new set of cartridges in there, get new packaged ones.

Link to comment

Oh, I meant to mention, I always get the cell phones that have the least in them, and are the cheapest. Each bit of fancy shit just makes it work less and eat up power more. I've only ever had 2 both Nokia, and I've been able to drop kick them across the room, drop then off cliffs, and have tools fall on them in the workshop, without them failing. Forget the clamshell phones; each time you open it you are at risk of doing damage. Every moving part wears.

Link to comment

Des, you forgot the part of the call that is the most infuriating, and happens EVERY TIME I call HP tech service. I go though everything you mentioned, and about six layers of actual people as well as the blood-pressue elevating electronic voices, and sometimes, in the end, I get an acutal tech person to talk to. Almost alwasy, if it happens, it's about 45 minutes AFTER I initially dialed.And then comes the best part. After speaking for a few minutes, and repeating absolutely everything that the electronic voices covered and I've already answered, the call gets disconnected. EVERY BLOOMING TIME! I then have to call back, and go through the 45 minute routine again.In Consumer Reports, HP was listed as the best computer to buy. It also listed HP as the absolute worst service provider to call for help. I certainly believe that part.C

Link to comment

I have to confess that in the interests of keeping the blog entry to a reasonable length, I did not describe each and every level of communication (or lack thereof) that actually took place. I did get disconnected from Sam :sad: at one stage and when I dialed back in, I was told they did not know anyone called Sam. :icon5: The Nokia 6120 phone is a reasonably simple phone with a confusing and frustrating interface that requires the super-intelligence of a 12 year old to be able to actually operate it. I suspect the 6120 is Nokia's service to mankind because you don't actually have to dial out to another phone to become infuriated; just try pressing "any button for frustration -thank you, and have nice day" seems to be built into the phone. The printer is an Epsom colour laser which I need for the business. Inkjets just won't provide what we need.I had been using inkjets upto a year ago, but all the modern ones are unsatisfactory for our purposes.I could write reams on how to manipulate Canon inkjets to provide ultra-cheap printing. Unfortunately Canon have now joined the other manufacturers in blocking the use of generic inks at a level suitable for small business use. Trab's idea (above) is about the best for the home user. :wink:

Link to comment

All familiar problems - even across the Atlantic ocean. I got suckered into purchasing a combination printer, scanner, copy machine and fax. The machine works well, but the two ink cartridges are extremely expensive , and are hard to find in stores because the manufacturer tries to get everyone to purchase them online, which is quite expensive because of shipping costs. My solution for large manuscript print-outs: I email the copy to my local copy center, which prints and binds the manuscript for a nominal cost. I save on paper, electricity, ink and stress. The Indian technicians and technical advisors for my anti-virus program software are, however, fantastic.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...