I've always tried to keep you all up to date with what is happening with our foster boys, but Julian has been difficult so I have held off until I could try to put it all together. He came to us on Halloween morning at around 10:30 am.
Julian was removed from our home this morning.
I guess that needs some explanation.
Julian is 15 years old now and this is the 23rd home that he has been in since he was 2 years old. He has no concept of what family is all about. We tried to show him that, but he never connected...until lately. I don't feel that I should go into his behaviors, but I will say that the sheriff has been involved numerous times. What I do see is a kid that needs guidance, but at his age, he's reluctant. Hell, in his mind, every adult in his life has abandoned him, so it's been a struggle.
It was the state's decision to remove him because they felt that he needed a higher level of care. He tried to commit suicide a few weeks ago. Don't try to tell me that that wasn't traumatic on David and I. We've gotten to love this kid.
I took him to a psychiatrist after that incident, and the psychiatrists recommendation was also for a higher level of care. He is depressed. My partner, David, has been taking meds for depression for years and is well aware of the symptoms. But Julian refuses to take any meds because his appointed attorney has told him that as he's over 14, he can refuse..which he does.
We saw an opening in Julian that his case worker and probation office never saw. They assumed that he was a bad kid and treated him as such. We saw something different. Their approach was to give him consequences for his behavior...only. They wanted to see outcome from Julian based on fear. We believe in a nurturing approach where the out come is based on not fear of doing something wrong but to instill in him that the outcome is what he wants to do, not out of fear. We saw a breaking of his shell over the last month or so. He cried for the first time in front of me this morning when he realized that he had to leave.
I fear for him now. The group home or shelter home that he's going to now will destroy everything that David and I have built over the last 7 months. They're going to dictate his schedule without giving him the chance to be a kid and learn how to dictate himself.
I must agree, however, that he needs a higher level of care. We'd take him back when he's released.