RMiller

Robocop? Que Diablo! Well, that last chapter was a treat. Mark brightens up any chapter and it was really fun to have him back. And the interactions between Brandon and Nick were adorable and I totally want to see more. And I really love your portrayal of the Baptist Inquisition. I have seen it first-hand, and I never knew that full-immersion was a big deal until then. Hope you have the energy left to write the next one soon. And as far as my end of the deal goes, I have had a hard time writing a good chapter to follow up the last one. It?s hard to go from a blatant cliffhanger to something that doesn?t drop the ball on the action or the plot. That, and I have lost the disk that has all my stuff on it. Sorry, but it could be a while. But that Robocop bit was really priceless.

No hard feelings, EleCivic. I did what was necessary. And I will most certainly hold up my end of the bargain. But if you want to keep that pinky?

I have tried to contact him, too. I really admire his strong narrative voice. But he just seems to have dropped off the face of the planet. I assume Nifty would know how to contact him, but they probably can't just give away that information. And if you like his writing, he has several others listed under Nifty's prolific authors. My favorite is the one about the surfer.

Trilogy? Yes. Is Opportunity Cost done? No. It does seem like a very nice place to end it, since much of the story conflicts have been resolved, but I am not so sadistic a writer to leave you with a completely open-ended ending that requires you to scratch your head until you start bleeding profusely and curse my name. That ending does lead into a very different story, but more of a "Part II" than a different tale. When Opportunity Cost is over, you'll know it.

That one will slide since I am fond of you and Brandon. But don't think it will go unnoticed. And to address the rising concern among readers about the ending of this chapter, those who are of a literal and linear mindset will not have enjoyed it. A great many things were left un-explained and ignored, but that is why it is a bloody cliff-hanger, people! It's that damn western mindset so many of you have been socialized to. "Oh, we refuse to enjoy a story that does not have a consummate explanation of the inexplicable. Woe is we!" I do give mad props to one Dragonweir for getting it right. Perhaps the rest of you will follow his example and see the forest in spite of the trees. -Ryan PS: Props for the sweet name, Dragonweir.

...Damn! If I were that extroverted, I might pop. But I am glad there are people in the world like you. It adds a sort of balance to society. You social renegades make up for we social recluses.

It's been a long summer and I have had little computer access, but I can now start writing more chapters for Opportunity cost. Thanks to those who have kept track of the story and have been waiting for updates. You patience is about to pay off. And this summer has provided me with a lot of inspiration for other works, so I should be writing a lot more in the weeks to come.

Glad to see I haven't missed much. After a few weeks of being off-line, I was getting worried that I might be missing out on the latest and greatest chapters from Lakia. But, prithee, when shalt the next chapter be done? And coulds't thou e-mail thusly? Forsooth!

I use an expired Blockbuster gift card.

You had me worried there with ?gulls.? I though you were making fun of a typo. But my panic attack was quelled when I searched my story and found no such mistake. And James has issues. I don?t know if I should resolve them in the next chapter or later, but he has some major issues. There?s been a lot of drama lately and I want to take the story in a lighter direction for a bit, but momentum is pretty heavy and I don?t know if I can stop certain parts of the story. I?ll send you a draft and you can tell me if it fits or not.

After about a month of putting stuff off, I am done with chapter 8. I have sent it to The Dude, so it should be up soon. And I am a little worried about it since it is darker than anything else I have written in the series and want to know if it comes off well or if it sounds like I am just making stuff up. But since it is fiction, of course it is made up. I just want to know if you can tell.

I strongly second that. As an experienced practitioner of dangling readers off cliffs, that one completely blindsided me--I had to read it again to make sure I?d just read what I?d read--and those are the best kinds of cliffhangers. Kudos, Elecivil, kudos.

Sure thing. It was a ton of fun getting to see the chapter early. And LB is right, it was sure a surprise/cliffhanger ending. And I have had very high hopes for Nick from the begining. Someone that cute can't go unattended for long.

I'll edit your stuff. We can trade. Finally, he gets rid of the man-whore. I knew that Brandon and Alex were going downhill fast, and now we can continue with the timidly innocent romance of Nick and Brandon, unless your are a literary sadist, like myself. That was a fun chapter. I like how you?ve been telling the story from the perspective of the people?s lives and not just focusing on gay romance/issues. I had a straight friend reading over my shoulder about the part in the movie store and he loved it. He really liked the parts about being afraid of nipples and whatnot. But I had to get rid of him before we hit the inevitably gay part of the story, so I told him I had to do speech homework and he left. And I feel sorry for Alex. He is so afraid of letting someone get to know him. He is starting to remind me a lot of William Brewer, but far less dark, and cuter. But if it came down to it, I think Will could kick Lexy?s ass, easy.

And the sax player's name is Trevor! How freaking hot is that?

I'm glad I didn't violate any preview protocol that time.

Such music links seem foreboding. As long as no shoulders are thrown out and no balls are crushed, I think I'll be fine. I would read your chapter now, but I am in the college center and there is a band playng and, even thought they suck, the sax player is incredibly cute. I mean, Charlie Hunnam cute. I need to get back to the show.

For those who have been waiting for chapter 8, I have not forgotten about it. I am half-way through and am trying to make sure it sounds authentic and not that I am just pulling stuff out of the air. I can?t give any deadline for when I expect to be done with it, but it will be finished in the next two weeks. The chapter, mind you, not the story. There?re at least 4 of 5 more chapters left in Opportunity Cost and a whole other sequel after that.

It?s good you?re getting all of this out of your system now. If your stories start going on about phonics/phonemic/graphemes/crap no one should have to endure, I might have to stage a filibuster. And don?t think I can?t do it. I am an avid practitioner of quid pro quo/getting people to do stuff against their better judgment. Verily, boi!

I?m really starting to like Alex, mostly because he is literally just like the first boy I fell in love with. He is cute and has the affections of a golden retriever puppy, but is very emotionally distant and can?t seem to put too much of himself into a relationship, which is why he is very ?friendly? to everyone instead of just one individual. I really want to see where you are taking this, but almost hope it falls apart since I have such hopes for Nick and Brandon. But I, being putty in your hands, can?t wait for the next part; I have spread my dreams under your pen, write softly because you write on my dreams.

It doesn?t really matter how bad you write now, you will rock indefinitely. And what kind of stuff can you launch with it?

I wasn?t too fond of it. Not that it was bad, but not my style. It was too literal for me, as far as descriptions and voice go. Exposition was clumsy and language could have been a little more poetic. It is the difference between saying, ?The picture was of a tree going back and forth as the green leaves, which were going in all directions, moved about,? and ?The picture was of a tree swaying in a cool summer?s breeze.? A trick I use is to write the same story in half the space. So, write your story in 7 pages instead of 13. That disciplines a writer to let go of the parts of a story that are not necessary and to learn to say more with fewer words. But you are obviously an experienced writer and not simply a beginner. Your technical errors are few, so good attention to that detail. I just feel the story needs a stronger, more distinct voice. And does it have a title?

Sorry, I just like to tease the readers. I'm sadistic that way. That is the closest I get to a spoiler. Besides, I never said who was going to die.

In a sense, the whole story is going to Hell. Not in a bad way, but in a Heart of Darkness sort of way. We will be exploring the darkest pits of human nature, and it gets much worse. Bitter tears will be shed, bonds will be torn asunder, and someone will die.

The next chapter is almost done. I am going over it to make sure it doesn't suck since it is rather a big turning point in the story. I plan to submit it Monday or Tuesday, so be on the lookout.