RMiller

We were just talking about you in my world literature class.Well, not “you,” but the disaffected, establishment-loathing, counter-cultural horde of young punks who apparently are nothing new. You plucky little buggers appear all throughout history and classic literature.Though this may come with little surprise to you guys since you feel that a disdain for “The Man” is patent and that all mankind will eventually bow to their own visceral instincts. And, on that day, the faithful will ascend above the mosh pit and the prophet Thompson will greet them with acid-laced admonitions and say, “Well done, my good and rebellious servant.”Or something like that.

Gauntlet thrown, gauntlet picket up. Better break out your protractors and parachute pants, 'cause here comes Kinder-Rap (k-rap for short).I Used to Love M.A.T.H.Big DeweyX+2A-3=Y gon' Give it to YaBalance the WaldorfStill not a PaigetEsthetic SchoolyardJust Don't Give a FreireForget BrunerThe Heidegger DanceGatto AfterlifeSkinner Said Test You Out

I get it! "Oi" to the world, instead of "Joy" to the world.Damn, you punks can be pretty clever when you try.How about these:I'm Dreaming of a Conservative-Republican-Asshole-Conspirator Christmas.I Saw Mommy Kissing Mrs. ClausAnarchy in the North PoleFat, Jolly, White Man (in Hammersmith Chimney)Santa's Workshop is BurningRave of the Sugar Plum FairiesRuby So-Ho-Ho-HoGive Me the CoalI Wanna be your ElfWrapping Paper AddictDon't want to know if it Fits Youand, of course, Santa is a Punk RockerI could keep going, but I need to get back to the newsroom.

And X-Men III was just a travesty.

The actual book was boring and pointless, kind of like Great Expectations. I'm sure it has a cautionary message about the caustic effects of jealousy and opulent wealth, but I could care less for hoidy-toidy melodrama. And the man who called it the Great American Novel has obviously never read A Connetticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court.Seriously, a book about time travel and biological warfare written before nuclear physics was even a science is totally under-rated. Just like King Kong, only it should have won best picture over Crash. And Hayden Christiansen had no business playing Anakin Skywalker, nor should Emillio Estevez have been in Free Jack. In fact, they both should have been played by Clint Eastwood, because he has yet to kick ass in a space flick, and Space Cowboys doesn't count.

I guess it says more about my frame of mind than yours, but that blog is the closest thing to real-live noir you've ever written. It's passively philosophical and full of sharp contrasts in characters while maintaining a pragmatic view of tragedy that doesn't ask why as much as it ponders the need to ask.I'm not sure if I should congradulate you or not. You now have a wealth of emotion to draw from for your writings, and I doubt you are the kind to waste it. I just think it rather morbid of myself that such a tragedy in my own life is what I need to complete my peace de resistance.Then again, never once have I corrected my writing teacher for calling me a freak.

I'm gone for a month and I miss out on periodic table jokes, cool fedora pictures and a chance to poke fun at a gay club run by a nun? I'm like the anti-John McClane: in the wrong place at the wrong time, but nothing to blow up.Bloody hellium.

Blockage can be an annoying problem, expecially if it's been there for a while. And the best thing to help move it along is to consume something fresh and with substance. Hopefully there is now a free flow onto your paper.

No sweat, Graeme. The name Ryan is anything but uncommon. I once had a health class with three Ryans total, including myself. But I don't think I could survive as a child with a summer birthday. The inability to bring cupcakes to class and show off would've killed the 10-year-old me.

While I love getting free celebratory sundaies at Red Robin as much as the next man, reports of my birth are premature and exaggerated. I've got to wait nine months for my next b-day.

THough months in the making, chapter five is finally posted. Sorry to keep all you sci-fi fans waiting, but I had to make sure it was up to publication standards. Ryan

Well done so far. Graeme and Jason got theirs right. But what of the last one? "The one who builds it doesn't use it. The one who buys it does't want to. The one who uses it doesn't know. What is it?"

It was a matter of time before someone in this forum would start ripping off Tolkein. Ehem... "Voiceless it cries, Wingless flutters, Toothless bites, Mouthless mutters." The wind. Here are some of my own contributions and old favorites. "Poor people have it, rich people need it. It's more powerful than God and more evil than Satan. If you eat it, it will kill you." "What can you catch but not throw?" "What is filled with holes yet still holds water?" "The one who builds it doesn't use it. The one who buys it does't want to. The one who uses it doesn't know. What is it?" "What lives if you give it food but dies if you give it water?"

In high school I once answered the door in boxers and a t-shirt and there was a pair of Mormons on the other side. It didn't seem to phase them at all. They went into their schtick and I told them we were Baptists and closed the door.I'm not sure why they are always so happy, but I bet it has less to do with Jesus and more to do with the Kool-Aid.

Answer:Osama, Justin and EleCivilQuestion:Name a dude who likes to hate, a dude who looks real great and a dude with too much on his plate.Don't feel like you owe it to your friends and family to be there all the time for them. You need support, too. If you need to make an escape from it all, take as much time as need. You're no good to anybody burned out.

I'm usually pretty comfortable with the idea of death, though I know not all share my sentiments. And that usually makes me pretty oblivious to feelings in such instances, so I won't even pretend to know what you are feeling/going through.It looks like the biggest issue is you backpedaling your dreams instead of your father dying. The latter is still a big deal, but it sounds like it's one you have all been getting used to over the years.Given that, I think the best way to beat the system that keeps fighting you is to teach anyway, without a certificate. You can't do it with state funding or asbestos-laden facilities, but that stuff shouldn't matter. The only things stopping you from taking the classroom to your students are social inhibitions, so nothing is stopping you.

Behold, the boyish charm of the most ambitious little Jew in Hollywood. Most notable as Reese on Malcolm in the Middle, he now spends his days as a movie producer, real estate investor and total hottie. And now you know.

This is an official update letting you all know that another chapter of Ragnarok is on its way. There was a hefty lag as both EleCivil and I started working on other projects, school work and whatnot, but I am free to continue now. Unfortunately my writing partner has opted out of the project. He, as well as I, could see that getting EleCivil to write good noir was like getting Justin Berfield to not be gorgeous: no chance in hell. We were both tired of pushing our cart sideways and the story is now under my command, but not without the lingering overtones of our weird little buddy and his dancing mandolin. Chapter four will be his last direct contribution to the story, and I think you all will enjoy it. And I may be looking for another partner to complete the project, because a genre as convoluted as noir works best when you have another writer to screw with.

Too young? May a seasick cat find its way into your Sampsonite.Reno, Diggler, Don Imus.Name a Turk, a Dirk and a Jerk.(No one is too young for Carnac the Magnificent.)

*Ryan puts on a funny turban and holds an envelope to his head*?Parakeet, buffalo chips, EleCivil.?*Rips the side of the envelope, blows it open and pulls out a card.*?Name a bird, a turd and a nerd.?

You looked like that little kid in The Kid. Did you have a lateral lisp as well? (Most people usually get that after they find out they're gay, anyway.)

If I didn?t know you, I?d say you were making that up. Which reminds me, I saw a reenactment of the ?drivin? me nuts? joke on Robot Chicken. It didn?t last much longer than Akira the Musical.Some men are born geeks, others achieve geekness, while some are just really damn weird.

They say the best way to learn is to teach. One thing I learned fast is why all the techniques used on me as a kid were in-effective. I really didn't give a rat's ass about what was going on around me, neither do many other children. You can shout louder and threaten a kid to do what you want, or offer them ninja points and attain their cmplete attention. It's the teacher's choice, really.But I wish I could have taken a ruler to the backside of many kids I had. And I'm talking one of thse thin, metal ones you see in architecture studios that strike more fear than flesh. It would have solved both our problems.

I knew a kid in highschool named Dick who loved to walk down the halls humming a song he had writen that went, "Dick is not a bad name for it is short for Richard." It's was pretty catchy.

Thanks for letting me draft chapter 14. It was pretty good. I think you are hitting your stride. It was fun how you gave Mark a job at the lab. I think he?d earned it. But that bungee accident is pretty risky from a writers perspective. Broken bones are one thing, but amnesia is just such a clich?. A lot of people might feel insulted. But I can see where you might take it. I just guess there won?t be any more hugs for a while. I think the best part was the line about the hamsters and the transvestites. Your mind is so delightfully weird.