Grant Bentley

We all know that Uganda is considering legislation that would make being gay punishable by prison -- or even death. Following widespread condemnation, the bill is now under review, but brave Ugandan campaigners and church leaders have called on Avaaz to take action, saying only worldwide condemnation, in support of their national efforts, could stop the bill. Let's stand with these courageous people working against intolerance and persecution in Uganda. Sign the petition urging Uganda to withdraw the bill, and it will be delivered to The President of Uganda, his embassies around the world and major donors. http://www.avaaz.org/en/uganda_for_toleran...rc=fbp&pv=1

One can feel the emotions as they read. Very well done!

I agree, that was truly wonderful Des. It was even more poignant because it brought back memories of that time era in my life. Thank you.

That was beautiful James. Des is right, there has to be a reply from Dr. Crowe, and I've been hoping Des would get involved. I'm just going to run out and get a new box of tissues now. This just keeps getting better.

While I’m thinking about it, I need to apologize to Bart, James, Bruin, Cole, and Colin. I am embarrassed to admit that the idea of taking part in this wonderful little project got me so excited that I neglected to say how much I enjoyed each of your parts. Bart I loved your Uni piece giving us insight into David’s thoughts and fears. it was beautiful. I also need to thank you for getting this whole sequel thing started. James, your Journey piece was so heart-warming as David’s dad showed his acceptance by inviting Curt to stay over. I should also thank you for starting this whole thing by writing that wonderful little story, Departure and inspiring Bart. Bruin your piece, Mary’s Viewpoint giving us insight into David’s mom, who she was, her initial fears, her struggle with the news of David's sexuality, and her final acceptance of David and Curt was brilliant. Cole, your piece Curt, with the interaction between the boys and their heart-felt discussion of Curt’s fears concerning his uncertainty about his family’s true feelings and the hurt it caused him was also brilliant. It also got the ball rolling with respect to the next set involving Curt’s family. Colin, your piece on Brandon was wonderful and heart-warming. Not only did you give us insight into who Brandon was, his feelings and struggle to accept Curt, but you showed us brotherly love winning out in the end. You also gave us insight into both his mom and his dad. And, you inspired me to throw my two cents worth in concerning Brandon and his dad. I want to thank you all for some wonderful reading and a truly unique and inspiring experience. You are amazing. Thank You!

I couldn't agree more James. That was definitely wonderful.

Welcome to the club. I've been confused for years. You sound like you are just way too busy. If I was trying to do all that at the same time, combined with having a cold, I think I would have lost it by now. You take care of yourself. I hope you get over your cold real quick...like by this afternoon.

Thanks Bart, I'm just going from Colin's statement: "It took almost a year for Brandon to finish resolving his feelings about Curt, and how he was upset that Curt hadn't told him before telling their folks." So I thought I would have Brandon making up with Curt and meeting David occur at about the same time Curt's dad finally tells Curt he was proud of him...about a year after Curt came out to them.

If we learn to appreciate more of what we already have, we will find ourselves having more to appreciate. - Michael Angier We worry about what a child will be tomorrow, yet we forget that he or she is someone today. - Stacia Tausher A smile costs nothing but gives much. It enriches those who receive, without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. - Unknown He who sees a need and waits to be asked for help is as unkind as if he had refused it. - Dante

Three Little Words. By Grant Bentley Life was good. It had been simple and straightforward from the time I was a child. There’s was always a way things should be and that was that. Black was black and white was white. Right was right and wrong was wrong. That’s how I was brought up and that’s how I brought my boys up. They knew what I expected of them and they knew there would be consequences if they didn’t measure up. I didn’t play mind games with them and they didn’t play mind games with me. We had a nice simple no-nonsense relationship. There were things that fit the scheme of things and things that didn’t fit. If they didn’t fit, you changed them…simple. However, sometimes in life, a time comes when you can’t change them. You may just have to change instead. This was one of those times and I wasn’t sure I could. Considering the thousand and one things I have heard from, or have expected to hear from, the mouths of my boys. “I am gay,” was not one of them. Does that make me na?ve or just foolish? I don’t know. I do know one thing. Those three words scared the hell out of me. I knew enough about the trials and threats that gays have to face, often on a daily basis, that I could honestly say those three words were the three words I never wanted to hear from either of my boys. Unfortunately, I heard them almost a year ago now and they shattered the hell out of my simple no-nonsense view of life. I heard them and I didn’t know how to react. My youngest son, Curt, announced to the family that he was gay and all I could think of to say was, “It’s your life. You can make something positive out of it or not.” I don’t think he had a clue what I meant by that. Hell, I didn’t have a clue what I meant by that. But I had to say something. I wanted to say, “No you’re not,” or “You can’t be,” but I knew better. Curt is far too much like his mother. When he says something, he means it. So when Curt uttered those three words, I knew he meant them. There was no room for debate. He knew he was gay and he was making a simple statement of fact. Those three words took over my mind for several days. My little boy was gay. That was a fact and it didn’t fit my simple scheme of things, not even close, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. Now I know I carry off the masculine, stubborn, manly image quite well. I’ve even been called a man’s man whatever the hell that is. Truth is, I’m not much for expressing feelings or opinions, never have been. But, as one of my teachers said when describing me in high school, “Still waters run deep.” I guess they do. I may not express myself freely, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have deeper thoughts, and feelings. I’m just good at hiding them. I learned early, you wear your heart on your sleeve and you’re only going to get hurt, so I made sure I kept those kinds of things inside. Inside, creating a comfort zone and as long as they stayed there, I felt safe. When Curt came out, as quickly as I could, within days, I had filed those three words in the very back of my comfort zone. I tried to ignore them and avoid the whole issue. I decided, if I don’t talk about it, I don’t have to think about it and therefore, don’t have to deal with it. But they kept gnawing at the edges of my comfort zone and it wasn’t comfortable anymore. I knew my silence was hurting one of the people I loved most in this world…my youngest son. I had forced Curt into a state of limbo. I had left him full of questions I wouldn’t answer. Do I still love him? Do I accept him? Do I still see him as my son? And, I began to realize it wasn’t fair to him. As long as my comfort zone stayed intact, his was replaced by confusion and fear. I saw the hurt in his eyes every time he looked at me. He has always made it clear that he is accepting and proud of who he is. It’s time I told him, I am too. When I read Colin’s description of Curt’s dad, I immediately thought of my dad. The only time I ever saw him show any emotion other than anger, when one of HIS boys strayed from his view of right and wrong, was when my mom died. It was the one and only time he hugged me and the one and only time I saw him cry. But that one time showed me that, hidden away inside was a very loving, caring man and I saw him in a whole new light from that day on.

There's a thought running around in my head, but I think I'll just leave it there and agree with James.

Meeting By Grant Bentley After nearly half an hour, Curt came back into the kitchen and set the phone down. Tears were streaming down his face and I immediately ran to him and pulled him into a hug. ?What is it? What?s wrong?? I asked him. When he pulled back, he had the biggest grin I think I?ve ever seen. ?You jerk,? I scolded with a chuckle, ?I thought something was wrong.? ?No way. That was Brandon. He just apologized for being so brusque with me. He actually said brusque. He said he?s been thinking about me a lot lately and finally realized that being gay really doesn?t change who I am. He said he wants me to know that he?ll still always be there for me no matter what. He still loves me and I?m still his little bro.? he blurted out without stopping to take a breath. ?That?s wonderful,? I exclaimed as I pulled him close again and gave him a quick kiss, which wasn?t easy considering the huge grin he had on his face. ?You can?t believe how good I feel right now,? he stated. ?I?ve been waiting for that call from him for months. I knew it would come. I felt it. I just knew it would come.? ?I can?t tell you how thrilled I am for you,? I said as I squeezed him tighter. ?I know you are,? he responded before asking, ?Guess what?? ?What?? I asked as I released my grip on him and stepped back a little. ?I told him about you and he wants to get together for coffee in the SUB caf? tomorrow. He wants to meet you,? he replied. ?Seriously?? I asked. ?Yeah. He said if you are important to me, then you are important to him, so it?s only right that he gets to meet you,? he responded still grinning from ear to ear. ?Oh my God,? I exclaimed laughing, ?What am I going to wear?? ?Oh my God, stop being so gay,? he laughed as he gave me a nasty little flick to the forehead, followed immediately by a kiss to make up for it. Curt was on cloud nine for the rest of the day and well into the next morning. I don?t think I had ever seen him so excited. I, on the other hand, felt more than a little nervous. I was going to meet Brandon, his big bro; a person who had obviously played a very influential and positive role in his life growing up. The person he had spent a lifetime looking up to and depending on. And, the person who had probably caused him the most hurt. Now, after nearly a year; a year of hurt caused by losing Brandon?s love and acceptance and finding them replaced by hurtful comments and brusque behaviour, the ?old? Brandon appeared to be back. He had not only made it clear that he accepted Curt and still loved him, but he had offered to go one giant step further. He had offered a willingness to accept that Curt had a boyfriend?me. Knowing our meeting would be a major step for both of them, I desperately wanted to make a positive first impression. Considering that Brandon had struggled with himself for almost a year, the last thing I wanted to do was jeopardize things between them. Way before I felt I was ready to face him, however, we were walking into the caf? and making a bee-line for a guy who, if he were a couple of years younger, could have been Curt?s twin. He was sitting in a booth by the window and, before we were half-way across the room, saw us, stood up, and was walking towards us. Within seconds, he had pulled Curt into a huge hug. ?I?m so sorry bud,? he whispered into Curt?s ear, ?I don?t know what I was thinking.? ?I love you too,? Curt responded as he leaned into Brandon?s hug and his eyes filled with tears. It was the better part of two minutes before they finally let go of each other and Brandon?s attention focused on me. I suddenly felt totally awkward and momentarily lost the ability to think or communicate, so I just gave him a shy smile, reached out my hand to shake his, and kind of croaked / whispered, ?Hi.? He grinned, bypassed my outstretched hand, pulled me into a hug and responded with, ?It?s good to meet you David. Welcome to the family little bro.? Sorry people, but this is probably the only chance I will have the privilege of collaborating with James, so I simply had to take advantage of it. From reading the other excerpts, Curt has made it clear that he wants to introduce David to his family as his boyfriend. Feeling sorry for him, David, that is, I thought it would be nice for him to have it happen it in stages, starting on a positive note. Taking Colin?s queue that Brandon was going to phone Curt, I decided to take it from there. Since Brandon wasn?t the first one Curt came out to, I thought he should get to be the first one to know about and meet David.

I would like to say I read English 10 and thoroughly enjoyed it, but I didn't. Instead, I experienced English 10 and thoroughly enjoyed it. WOW! More than worthy of Des' third award of merit. Just amazing.

You're right, I don't see how it could have been interpreted as anything but a hate crime. Sorry, I missed your point about being unable to speak. Reading it now, it's perfectly clear what you meant. I guess I should make sure I'm awake enough to understand what I'm reading before I respond.

He had no trouble speaking. He just didn't speak to the people he was beating on with the hammer. As for why...first, he was angry that the pride parade was on a Sunday. When police arrested him he said, amongst other things, ?I know Jesus wasn?t gay and it?s wrong to let the gays have their parade on a Sunday,?? Alzghoul also told police that he ?had been sent to punish them [gays] and that this was judgment day.? To a female arresting officer, Alzghoul asked: ?Are you a lesbian?? and ?Why do you let gays celebrate?? He was sentenced to two and half years in jail, but will serve only four months of that sentence after receiving credit for time already served while awaiting trial. The Crown had sought a four to five year prison sentence ? and a hate crime designation.

When is a hate crime not a hate crime? This incident occurred when my partner and I were in Vancouver for Pride 2008. As we walking down Davie St, we were warned that someone was attacking people with a hammer and maybe we should go back the other way. So, being somewhat opposed to being hit with a hammer, we did. This comes from that incident. A provincial court judge ruled he was ?not satisfied beyond a reasonable doubt? that the man convicted of multiple assaults with a hammer on Pride 2008 was motivated by hate, despite police evidence that the man made homophobic statements at the time of his arrest. Khalid Alzghoul was charged with 25 offenses in August 2008 after he began attacking several people with a hammer at Majestic?s Pride party. McGee acknowledged that ?the offences occurred on a day of celebration for the gay community and that on his apprehension by the police, the accused made anti-gay statements.? But he was not ?satisfied beyond a reasonable doubt that these offences were motivated by hate for members of the gay community.? This is his reasoning. The fact that Alzghoul ?made no specific reference of any sort concerning the gay community at the time of committing the offences? must be taken into account, McGee ruled. Anti-gay comments were only noted at the time of Alzghoul?s arrest ? not during the hammer attack itself. Therefore, he did not consider it to be a hate crime. So, lesson learned...when in Canada, committing a hate crime against a specific group, like gays or maybe judges, remember to do it quietly. As long as you don't say bad things to them as you're beating them with the hammer...it's not a hate crime. WTF?

I don't think anyone refused to leave the plane...the airport maybe. Most had relatives or friends to pick them up who came equipped with parkas and warm woolies for them. Just so you are aware, the reason I posted this is because it is NOT normal weather up here. Calgary is normally 30F (-1C) and Edmonton is normally 21F (-6C). So I thought it was just a tad newsworthy. Or at least worth bitching about. We are having the coldest weather in history right now. But just till this afternoon. It was -13F (-25C) this morning and is forecast to go up to 23F (-5C) by the afternoon and then warm to 41F (+5C) by tomorrow and stay that way for a while.

Well I liked it. Thank you Des.

A wonderful little story...very touching. And an equally enjoyable poem that says it all.

I just can't let this one go by without a comment. It was a balmy -25?F (-32?C) here in Calgary Saturday night. Edmonton is just a 3 hour drive north of us. It was -51?F (-46?C) on Saturday night there -74?F (-59?C) factoring in the windchill. It was the second coldest place on the planet behind Zhilinda, Siberia, which was -54?F (-48?C). They didn't give their windchill. Maybe there was no wind. Now for the fun part?imagine you are these people. The temperatures were recorded at the International airport where they were interviewing people getting off a plane from Mexico. These people had just spent the last three weeks at +95?F (+35?C). From the time they got on the plane in Mexico until they got off the plane in Edmonton, three or four hours later, they were looking at a 169?F or 94?C drop in temperature taking into account the windchill factor, or 146?F (81?C) drop, not counting the windchill factor. I'm just glad I wasn't the guy who got off the plane wearing a T-shirt and shorts. Oh, and a sombrero.

Quebec announces anti-homophobia policy Updated: Fri Dec. 11 2009 2:11:27 PM ctvmontreal.ca The provincial government is hailing it as a first in Canada and North America. Friday morning Quebec's Justice Minister Kathleen Weil announced an official provincial policy against homophobia, with a wide-reaching series of measures to fight anti-gay discrimination. They include recognizing the equality of sexual minorities, promoting the rights and wellness of the gay and lesbian community, and making the fight against homophobia a priority in public institutions. However this policy is not an action plan, and does not contain any concrete steps for enforcement. Weil announced that a ministerial committee will be formed by the end of January to deal with those issues. Okay we have step one. Now, let's hope the action plan, when it's in place, really has some concrete steps for enforcement.

What a wonderful story. You made my day. That last line says so much. Thank you James.

I agree, it's a great story. Thanks Colin. I have to think about this though. Two seriously good-looking 20-something girls...one crawling all over me...and McDonalds. Hmmmm.

My statements are in yellow. Not sure why I?m putting this here, but I am so far past angry right now, I have to bitch to somebody, sorry. Stavros Costoulas sentence for killing my friend Sandra Casey?from CTV News. Family and friends are stunned after learning the man who killed Sandra Casey won't spend any time behind bars. Last January, Casey was struck and killed while trying to cross 10 Avenue S.W. (in Calgary, Alberta.) The driver of the car who killed her left the scene but turned himself into police later. (he didn?t turn himself in for hitting Sandra?he tried to report he was in a minor a fender bender so he could get a police accident sticker to allow him to get his car fixed. The police got suspicious, got a search warrant and found his car in his garage with Sandra?s blood on it.) Now Casey's friends have received another blow. The man that killed her won't spend a day behind bars. Costoulas' previous driving infractions and criminal convictions ? include impaired driving (two), failing to provide a breath sample, speeding and driving without insurance or licence. Stavros Costoulas pleaded guilty to leaving the scene of an accident but was given a conditional sentence with curfew from 10pm - 6am, (he can still go to work), and a 1 year driving ban. However, the driving control board may permit him to drive sooner with use of Interloc - a device he would blow into to make sure he is sober before his car will start (this was a request of defence counsel.) The ruling doesn't satisfy Casey's friends. "I think the message that's being sent is horrible. I think it's a bad precedent. What it's sending is you can get in a motor vehicle, you can hit someone, leave them there to die, go home, and then 14 hours later go to police, lie about what happened and get grounded basically," says Lynne Gibson. "He will have a slap on the wrist that won't last even as long as we've been mourning. So far, it's disgusting," says another friend, Jason Wheeler. Everyone ?knows? he was drunk. All you have to do is read the conditional sentence to know that?curfew and Interloc device??? But, I don?t care if he was drunk or sober. I don?t care if he was speeding or driving the speed limit. None of that matters. This asshole struck Sandra, a pedestrian, a person, another human being, with his car, and drove off leaving her lying in the street to die. My friend is dead and all this useless f**k gets is a ten o?clock curfew and his driver?s licence suspended for maybe one year???? WTF. The Alberta justice system is a joke and Stavros Costoulas is sitting home with a beer in his hand, laughing. What are these judges thinking? I don't get it, I REALLY don't get it. I wonder how the judge will react if the next person this s.o.b kills is a friend or relative of his/hers? Sandra Casey