Indecisive Longing

[Jason Rimbaud]

Indecisive Longing

By: Jason Rimbaud

It wasn't until I talked to you on the phone

That's when I realized just how much I missed you

Your voice brought back so many memories

I haven't thought about the "thistle" incident in years

And for a time it was like 1995 all over again

When we were still an "us" and mostly happy

It wasn't until we both hung up the phone

That's when I realized just how little I missed you

We both know that this life is ever changing

This is a fact based on a principle we both understand

Friendship was nothing more than a mutual effort of "use"

And when the "use" was depleted so too was the friendship

I don't have to like this reality but I do understand it

So when "us" ended I forced myself to move on

I'll admit there are times I wonder how you are fairing

There are times when I yearn to see your child

There are times when I feel like I lost my right arm

And there are times when the loss of you is overwhelming

And in these times I say fuck growth, fuck change

And fuck all things new and improved

I say let's stay the same, let's never grow

Let's never alter and let's never stretch our wings

Let's stay comfortable and out of control

Let's stay mediocre, hidden, let's stay children

[Camy]

I've gone off you, Jason.

Why do you have to write such painful poems?

Can't you write a piece

that won't make me examine myself in detail?

Can't you write a piece

that leaves me dry eyed and happy?

Can't you?

And if the 'use' is depleted, the friendship can grow stronger, can change, can become something else, something ... maybe better.

Camy - a fan.

[Jason Rimbaud]

You asked for it...I delivered it....just for my favorite Emu

Jason