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Oranges.


Guest Brandon T.

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Guest Brandon T.

The shape of a thought. Thoughts of something gone by. And of freedom. Enjoy? feel free to hate too! =D

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Oranges. Fresh, acidic, sharp. The smell rose out of the dusty folds of his memory like new mist in the morning, forsaking the sodden, drab landscape of its prison. It curled like vivacious smoke, twisting itself into all manner of interesting shapes and curves and lines and braids like rope. Even three months later, it was still as enticing, as intoxicating as it was the day he’d stood at the edge of that cliff in Nafplion, staring out over the gnarled orange trees that grew like wild flowers in the thrash of brackish plants that surrounded his home back in the states; beads of orange among all of the brown and green, jewels in the natural frenzy. The scent of oranges stretched out beneath the stark blue sky that floated a few lazy clouds, boats on sky-water, rocking back and forth, tugging at their invisible tethers and ready to go someplace, where, don’t know, don’t care, just go.

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Brandon, the way you paint landscape with your words is just amazing. In a way, there's not much left to the imagination as you weave your intricacies into the picture, but then again, the mind seems to free itself, allowing for greater escape.

Thank you for that picture.

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Wonderfully descriptive. It kinda just puts you right there, although maybe having a crushed bit of orange peel next you would heighten the effect even more. :lol:

I do offer one 'concern' though, and that is in regards to the last bit.

" a few lazy clouds, boats on sky-water, rocking back and forth, tugging at their invisible tethers. Ready to go someplace, where, don’t know, don’t care, just go. "

The very last sentence seems to belong to you, rather than the clouds, which is what I think you wanted it to refer to, so I suggest, IMHO, that it might benefit from a semi colon instead of a period, as in " a few lazy clouds, boats on sky-water, rocking back and forth, tugging at their invisible tethers; ready to go someplace, where, don’t know, don’t care, just go.

Trab now cringes, waiting for the darts of others to descend, like a swarm of Africanized honey bees attacking an interloper.

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Guest Brandon T.

Hm. I was back and forth on that, Trab. I couldn't figure out what I wanted so in the end, I decided to go with two sentences, just to be safe. But as for the meaning of the last, it's meant to describe the clouds, but to stir a similar feeling in you. You know, how you look at something, describe it in your head and then you think to yourself, "Well, that's a nice idea." So it goes from being about the clouds to being about you. So in its ambiguity, it's really about both.

Or at least I was going for something like that. Hm. BUT. I think you're right. A semicolon would be the way to go.

---On second thought, I changed it and made it instead a part of that clause. It achieves the effect I wanted a bit better than the semicolon or the period.

ALSO. Thanks for the compliments, guys. =) Means a lot.

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Again, well written, vivid imagery, singularity in thought.

From the two flash fictions pieces, and your piece in the bull pen, you seem to dwell on the internal instead of the external. Though you are describing the outside world, you thoughts are strictly internal and how the outside images affect the internal you. This is very powerful for certain types of writings.

I wonder what you could do if you try your hand at poetry.

Jason (ever the poet)

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Guest Brandon T.

WELL. I looked it up on Wikipedia, because I hadn't thought of Impressionism as applied to literature. AND. The article is like my mission statement as a writer. Haha. I do frolic in the internal, as Jason said. Good eye, guys. I would never have thought of my writing as impressionist. I've always tried to work out what kind of literary trend it falls in, but until now, I was a utterly lost and confused where my writing fit. BUT. Now I have some idea. Hm. Impressionism. I like it.

And thanks for all the support, really, guys. I write (not for compliments, but they are nice every now and again) to not only get my thoughts out but in someway to get others to think or experience what it's my head. And if they enjoy, that's amazing and makes it worth it. And if they don't enjoy it, well, at least they've read it and experienced what I had to say. And at the end of the day, we're all here to share parts of ourselves, right? =D

Jason, I loooooove poetry. I may get started writing some new ones, actually. I was a fan of poetry before I was a fan of prose. I just couldn't get my thoughts and feelings into prose like I could build up images and feelings in poetry. Until my tenth grade teacher sat me down and told me that I had a fine writer's voice and I should stop over-thinking the writing and just let it be. Since then, it's been about letting each word inspire the word after it. Letting the moment inspire me. And just writing what feels right in that particular place.

Wooo. Look at me ramble. Again, thank you for reading. It makes my world go 'round.

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Certainly Debussy's work leaned heavily on letting his creativity find its way via impressions of his aural world as opposed to his visual one. You, Brandon, use the written world to evoke a visual one as well coupled with situations that engender thoughtful musings on the part of the reader.

All artists look at similes in the medium they are most familiar with. I would enjoy reading poetry that you attempt Brandon. But, whether it be poetry or prose, I'm sure the effect will be similar. The important point is to continue writing and writing and writing ...

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