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E.J.

Whitney Houston: dead at 48

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Sad story. As always, TMZ got the story very early. She died in a bathtub, spoke to her mother half an hour before she died (and the mother said Whitney "sounded fine"), and the cops refused to let Whitney's daughter or cousin Dionne Warwick in the room to see the body. Reportedly, the mother, daughter, and Warwick are "in hysterics." Bad, bad scene.

Even worse, Whitney was at that hotel because there was a huge industry party going on Saturday night... and Whitney was supposed to open the show with a short concert. Awful.

This is a case where the tabloids had been predicting for years that Whitney's days were numbered. It's sad when they're right.

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This is a case where the tabloids had been predicting for years that Whitney's days were numbered. It's sad when they're right.

Predicting or provoking. Once again the tabloids win... flashy headlines the price for human tragedy. :icon5:

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You know, I am sorry she is dead, but I feel no guilt for her death, just anger that all these idiots are on televison lamenting her passing.

Elvis, Michael Jackson and now Whitney, all of them dead from the chosen lifestyle of taking drugs and alcohol in excess. Most of them were aided by those around them, the doctors, managers and so called friends that supplied their habits.

But even "close" friends who now bemoan her passing seem to have done little, or not enough. "Oh, Whitney...don't take those pills" is not enough. Where was the intervention, the tough love she needed? They should have called the police, pointed at the dealers and taken them away.

Yeah, but they were afraid of offending Whitney. Well guess what. Her dead body doesn't hate anything, she is no longer offended. So we are in for days of sham friends, weeping and moaning about her death. They all knew what she was doing, many of them are doing the same thing. Now all we have left is her recorded voice.

I hope her friends are proud of themselves...how very sad they are.

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But even "close" friends who now bemoan her passing seem to have done little, or not enough. "Oh, Whitney...don't take those pills" is not enough. Where was the intervention, the tough love she needed? They should have called the police, pointed at the dealers and taken them away.

One problem with addicts who are rich and famous -- I'd put Michael Jackson in that category -- is that they have the power to push away anybody who disagrees with them.

I've had addicts in my family (alcohol), some of whom died from it, and trust me: people like this will only stop when they want to. You can't force them to do it. I had a close friend about 10 years ago who was a terrible alcoholic, and he pushed away everybody in his life. In my case, he just stopped returning my calls. He eventually recovered, but people like this sometimes have iron wills about what they put into their bodies.

Whitney had been in and out of rehab for years, so it's clear to me she made up her mind what she wanted, and she had enough money to make sure she got it. If you're her friend or bodyguard, and you know she's going to just fire you or throw you out of the room, what do you do? If tough love pushes you out of her life forever, does that do either of you any good? Michael Jackson famously hired and fired different agents, managers, assistants, bodyguards, attorneys, and others throughout his career -- some of whom were very concerned about the downward spiral in his personal life.

This is not a simple situation.

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The sad truth is that with so many, they are fighting against inner, personal demons, and they feel they can't cope, so they take something to try to make it go away. Taking something won't make it go away, it only makes it that much harder to function. Yes, they can refuse to listen to friends and loved ones who do care. Or they may not have anyone around who cares enough to do what needs to be done to help. Or it may be that everything a friend tries, or indeed that the person him-/herself tries just doesn't seem to do any good long enough.

I'm lucky I've never liked smoking, drugs, or alcohol. I don't like the taste or the lack of control and feeling so out of it or helpless, even with very little experience drinking any. I say that I'm lucky, because I'm enough of a mess sober. I'd hate to see how big a mess I'd be if I were on any substance. It would not be pretty, that's for sure. Some days, I do well. Other days, not. (And I don't take meds for depression, for which, I'm thankful, usually. Usually.)

Those personal demons can be subtle and seductive, or they can hit you over the head with a two by four. Creative people have a need for their art to be taken well, to be understood and appreciated. Creative people are often self-critical and in need of people who love and understand them. (And most people, by the way, are "creative people" in some way.) So there's that.

Add in an abusive relationship and a need for love, and then add addictive substance abuse, and oh yeah, heap on a ton of expectations from the public and the critics and the media, and whew, you have a bad mix there.

There's one other thing -- Whitney Houston was 48. I'll be 46 in less than a month. I remember first hearing her when she became popular back in the 80's. It hits home, when someone you've practically grown up seeing and hearing, and who is right at your age, suddenly dies. She'd been having problems for years, but I'd thought things were getting better for her.

How sad that we won't get to hear and see what else she might've done. She had talent. Her talent was eclipsed by drugs and an abusive boyfriend/husband/ex and by whatever inner troubles she had. It's a shame, a loss. I do have sympathy.

It is also a wakeup call to say we can do better, that there is good in life, even though some days, it's hard to find. It's worth fighting for. It's worth it to create.

Rest in peace. We'll miss you.

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