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SOMETHING ABOUT TOM by Tragic Rabbit

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Hi gang,

Our Tragic Rabbit is trying out something new for him... a first-person, internal narrative is how I see it. It lacks dialogue totally and is totally the flow of consciousness or maybe unconsciousness of it's hero.

It is a short story called SOMETHING ABOUT TOM. I like it, how about you?

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I'm not sure I stopped laughing the whole time. I loved it.

The proofer in me understands the incomplete sentences for the conversational train of thought. There were a few boo-boos with "its" instead of "it's" and one other typo that I'll alert his Bunny-ness to.

Very glad TragicRabbit's back.

Put me down for a cat pin.

I went to school with a guy named Tom. Think he was prob'ly gay. Would be happy to see him again some time, friend or...hm, maybe more. Oh, sorry, was this mike on? ...He didn't look like Tom in the story, though, but did look veddy nice.

Oh, the story. Heheheh.

Great job of showing an instant, full-on, humongous crush. Also nice about all the narrator's idiosyncracies and self-anxieties. Loved the stream of consciousness internal monologue and humor. I think he's been reading too many of my posts! :wink:

Hmm. Need more predefined smilies around here. Must read up on that.

That was a sweet short story. My shippy self liked it.

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You both summed it up well. It was fun and well written. Made me smile alot while reading it.

It also made me download and reread Drama Club.

Both stories are well written. It's just that I preferred story that has clear "romance leads". It took a couple more chapters before I get connected with the characters in Dramma Club unlike "Tom". Now I am hook and have to see what Tragic Rabbit got in store for Angel & co..

BTW, the posting for Readers' Rule and New Writers section get a little blurred. Guess my post would be more suited for the former section.

cheers

Ena

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