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Whaddaya call an exploding star's walking stick?



I got drilled and filled today. My tooth, that is.

Man, I used to think going to the dentist felt masochistic, but now that I don't have insurance, it's even worse. "Here's two hundred dollars. NOW HURT ME, DOC, AND DON'T STOP 'TIL YOU'RE OFF THE CLOCK!"

Anyway, I don't know if it's the gas or the fact that I'm leaning back with all the blood rushing to my head, but I always seem to get the urge to sing when I'm in the dentist's chair. When I got my wisdom teeth yanked, I got through three renditions of "Black Cadillacs" before I was finally knocked out (or so they tell me). I refrained, this time, only because I couldn't afford laughing gas. Still, on the drive home, I was singing along with the new Ghost Mice split when I noticed something - having half of my face numbed with Novocaine really did wonders for my "punk accent".

For those of you unfamiliar, quite a few punk vocalists have a very distinctive twist to their singing voices. Sort of a combination of apathy, disgust, and the lingering effects of a stroke all wrapped together. Listen to one song by Lagwagon and you'll know what I'm talking about. As one of my friends put it, "Joey Cape sings like someone just punched him in the mouth."

Without even trying, I was hitting Cape-level punk snottiness. This gave me the greatest idea in the history of music: At the opening of a show, the vocalist gets on stage and pulls out a giant needle full of Novocaine, which he empties into his gums. Sure, it wouldn't fly with the straight-edge crowd, and some may say that performance-enhancing drugs go against the DIY ethic, but still...injecting a giant dental syringe into your jaw before a performance? That's pretty hardcore.

The answer is "A nova-cane," by the way.

"But I assume the role

Open my mouth

And clumsy words escape."

-"Violins" by Lagwagon


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EleCivil wrote:

...have a very distinctive twist to their singing voices. Sort of a combination of apathy, disgust, and the lingering effects of a stroke all wrapped together.
EleCivil, In the days of great opera, the singers' voices soared to thrilling heights of dramatic and musical perfection.If I follow your punk explanation correctly, you may just have discovered the secret of why so many of today's opera singers have to practise ugly contortions that may well fit the above description.In the case of modern opera it is generally the audience which would be in pain had they not first injected their brains with copious amounts of critical acclaim for musical rubbish. :lol: Personally I think they would be better off listening to punk; at least it sounds less pretentious to me.Hmmm...I can see however, an innovative production of Wagner's Ring cycle when, in Die Valkyrie, Brunhilde comes riding in on her flying horse screeching "Ah-aaah-oh AH!" whilst holding a giant needle in her jaw instead of a spear in her hand.My own recent visit to the dentist was no less traumatic. The dentist informed me that my remaining teeth would all have to come out, if I lived long enough. What the hell does that mean? Premature extraction?
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I suppose "Give me Novocaine" by Green Day is too obvious, here.Ah yes, I've been through "dentistry without insurance." Fun, fun.I've never had the urge to sing, during it, but then, I haven't heard that song, either.-----Ghost Mice; Modest Mouse; Cat Power... this could be a theme. ...It's always a bad sign if they throw kitty litter at a marriage or commitment ceremony.Marriage? Commitment Ceremony? -- How about we simplify? Let's just call it "gettin' hitched." See? Much simpler! :D

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