Life's Journey
Entry posted by DesDownunder
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I wonder if I should blog about all my worries?
No, I better not, I could start a panic.
Shall I put on a happy face and pretend that I am gay?
Is it possible to pretend to be something that you actually are?
I could pretend to be straight, but I doubt if anyone here would believe me.
I'm sure I could fool the locals into thinking that I am straight, after all they have fooled themselves into thinking they aren't gay.
Some of them even went and married a girl to prove it. Seems a bit drastic to me.
What's worse of course is that in a moment of misguided enthusiasm they managed to get the poor girl pregnant and then a few months later she had to go through that labour intensive procedure of giving birth to the brat.
Of course the brat turned out to be so cute that everyone oohed and aahed for a couple of weeks until it started to throw up on everybody's shoes.
Still the child seems to have survived into the toddler stage, you know the one where it wanders around the house looking for somewhere to show its expertise at doing number two. This of course inspired the once house trained cat to remember that it too likes to leave territory markers wherever it goes. The canary in its cage decided to fling its droppings as far it could as well. The dog wasn't a problem. It was too busy licking its nuts.
Unfortunately, the brat saw the dog and then tried to show the visiting church committee, his impersonation of being a doggy, growling and licking as best he could.
And that is how the family came to hire an exorcist.
It was all perfectly understandable. The child showed all the symptoms of possession. It vomited over everyone, it shat everywhere, and it had weird control over the beasts in the house. (When the the brat failed the self lick test, he was found letting the dog do it for him, which of course caused him to laugh with demonic fervour. It didn't help that his grandmother was the one who found the quite excited dog with the boy.)
So early on a Sunday morning the exorcist arrived in full regalia armed with crucifix and holy water.
The brat ran and hid in the dog kennel, while the dog stood guard at the entrance, with snarling teeth, saliva foaming and dribbling on to the ground where it solidified into flaming thorns from Hell. (Well not really, but I thought it was a nice image.)
No one could get the brat to come out of the kennel. The parents left food which the dog took into the child. Some years later, when puberty struck the child with all its power, the boy drove out the demon and left the kennel.
He immediately went to highschool where he was known as demon-boy, but it was too late. In the kennel he had already worked out that civilisation was f'd, and no amount of indoctrination, er I mean education, could affect the now teenage youth.
He moved into a cave in the foothills just outside the city limits with the High school star footballer who had fallen in love with him.
The lads' fathers were aghast, not at the boys, but at each other when they met outside the cave. They too fell instantly in love with each other, but that and their divorces is another story.
Meanwhile the two youths in the cave were busy practising peace and lovin'.
All of which goes to show that you don't need Television, the Internet, a fast car, an ipod, an education, or anything else except love, to to find happiness on your life's journey from the kennel to the cave.
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