JamesSavik

I really like this story and.. cough,cough.. look forward to the next chapter.

Speaking of New Brother, I really liked it. I found the characters interesting and compelling and really look forward to seeing more of that story. Although I haven't read NB in weeks, those characters stand out in my mind. I can easily remember Stick, Giant, Ads and Break. You guys are right. If you do your character development well, the rest takes care of itself. I will use the Dramatis Personae as a developmental tool for Broken but I think that I will leave it out of the final version.

Thank you WBM. You've given me enough energy for three chapters! Why Broken is not here is a good question. I blundered through the web and happened upon nifty ages ago. All I happened to pick out to read were "wet" stories without a lot of ummmm... staying power. Erotica has its place of course but after reading three, you've seen them all. I figured that was all there was too it and moved on. Back in December, I discovered CRVBOY's site and came across a whole different kind of gay fiction that appealed to me greatly. Stories more about life than sex with relationships and sex put into proper perspective. I came to really dig KIT's Tappings and the work of Christopher Patrick Lydon's Carter Series and started looking in earnest to find more like it. Soon afterwards, I came across Dewey's Brian & Pete stories. Considering some of the paralles in my experience with that story, it was like a slap in the face. Truthfully, at first I hated it and quit reading for a while. It brought to the surface painful emotions and memories that I had long repressed but were always there in the back of my mind like a insidious poison. It caused me no small amount of turmoil. A lot of old demons that I thought that I had buried a long time ago woke up and started raising hell. Sleepless nights, not eating, nightmares when I did sleep- Brian and Pete had a deep impact on me. I decided that I needed to get back on that horse and ride it. I read the entire B&P series. Sometimes laughing out loud and disturbing my cats and other times with tears running down my cheeks. I came to love those characters because I am one of those characters. The experience was a very valuable and healthy emotional cartharsis that helped me get in touch with who I am. It raised my Emotional IQ and allowed me to look at myself then and now as not the big, crazed freak that people told me that I was but for the person that I really am. For those reasons, I am in awe of Dewey and his work. It's amazing and so is D. He has inspired and encouraged me to take on this project and I am honored that he has seen fit to host it. I mean no disrespect to anyone, there's a lot of very good sites with a lot of talent but Deweywriter is a very special place for me. It helped me to find myself after being emotionally lost for a very long time. I want Dewey's site to be Broken's home. Broken is not finished yet. It's an alpha draft that may end up being 30 chapters or so. It's not ready for prime time. Truthfully I posted it to make sure it didn't stink too bad. In the future when Broken is further along, if Dewey has no objections, I would be honored for other sites to host it. For the developmental stage of the project, I think that it should stay put for the time being so we won't have multiple versions out there. Thank you guys for your comments, kindness, inspiration and support. It's been hard to get this ball rolling but it has inertia now. I also owe a special thanks to talon_rider as he has taken on editing duties which for me requires both great skill and the patience of a saint. -James

This was a difficult read- not at all like the typical, happy go lucky romps that you find in most gay fiction. Difficult on several levels. Difficult as it demands the readers undivided attention and only rewards him in porportion with the energy that he has invested. Difficult as the emotions that it invokes are disturbing and raw. Difficult because most people are used to having their art and literature delivered comfortably and gently. Angel is an abrupt and brutal SLAP in the face. The shifts in POV in the story are unusual. Sometimes gentle and sometimes jolting, these changes of perspective broadens and adds to the experience. As an author, I find myself looking at this literary device and thinking: don't try this at home kids, this guy is a professional. Just as it is easy to get to know and like the characters, it is just as hard to confront the reality of protagonists situation. His innocence stands in stark contrast to the horror. You want to turn away yet, you find yourself transfixed like an observer to some disaster unfolding before your eyes. Angel forces the reader into an uncomfortable place. To some it will be just a dark story. To others, it is an acknowlegement of the darkness of our existance and experience. Angel does not lay out a nice, linear story. It is disturbing and jolting with jagged edges and dangerous contrasts that can easily draw blood. This is not a story to be read on a lark. Pack your lunch. Wear comfortable shoes. You'll need it. It is a rough ride through a dark and dangerous landscape.

Chapter 11- Sandman and Viking are posted. and :smt015 I'm exhausted.

I'm a big believer in praticing what you preach so I've included a character listing in my new story "Broken". When there are a lot of people involved, I think it helps the writer as much as the reader. My story is autobiographical in nature so I have to change the names but as I'm writing, I sometimes find myself using the real names and forgetting what I'm calling them in the story.

OK. You've done it now. Chapter 10 is posted. I suggest that while you read it, listen to the Who's album Who's Next. Start it at the beginning.

*blush* Thank you sensei!

I have a story at Deweywriter in the members story forum. I think that it's a little different. It's set in the mid-late seventies Mississippi- not the gay-friendliest place in the world.

I like it rainbow. Hope to see more of your work. The best part of a poet is his heart. Everything else is just mechanics. I sense a good one in you. Keep plugging. That's how you get better.

Please put me on the list for a signed, first edition coffee table book cody. You my friend have earned your place as one of the most Awesome of Dudes, :smt023

Sigh. You shouldn't drink and admin. Bad things can happen.

something like that. The locals hassel them something fierce.

Confessions of a Rake In my youth I was a rake, Many liberties I was known to take, With handsome youths and their virtue, By the mother of rivers swift and sure, A mile wide, passions flame burned pure. In the trees and on the grass, On the emerald slopes of the hills, We tasted glorious passion, exquisite thrills, Rolling together under Southern stars, Forgetting who and what we are. In the day and in the night, Delicious delirium and delight, We lived and loved with all our might. Ever with care to stay out of sight, Guarded slyly against others slights. My secrets I will never tell, Because it is just as well, Their names stay deep within my heart, My treasure hoard of priceless art. When Scotty saw a slithering snake, In panic his clothes he forgot to take, Streaking away he was a sight, An absolutely pure delicious delight! Drew was a regal prince with hair of fire, Reckless with care and time, Poison Ivy and Southern sun's ire, Punished the lad for his crimes. Brian was the fairest of them all, His heart big but his frame was small, In passions sweet embrace he would sway, And in the heat faint dead away. David's beauty was a thrill, Enough to stay cruel winters chill, From our passion heat smoke would rise, Through the night till orgasmic sunrise. Frank in soccer kit was grand, No stouter a heart was there in the land. He didn't look like he would be so loud, In passion throes would roar right proud! Sean was cute but very shy, Deceptively innocent and sly. He didn't look so very hip, Until he pulled out his leathers and whip! But it was Jeff that stole my heart, So gentle a lad, a work of art. In his arms I found my rest, It was his heart that I liked best.

That's New York. I'm from Mississippi. It might as well be another planet. Here we had a camp open for gay adults to have retreats and get their heads together. That was ~12 years ago and the thumpers still have them in and out of court.

Speak for yourself pup! :smt077

You honor the memory of your friend. Finishing his work is a good and noble way to say goodbye.

Although something like that school would never be allowed, it's desperately needed. The alienation and isolation kills.

Billy D. Badass On a barstool in boots and faded jeans, You can tell he's barely seventeen, With a beer and a fake ID, That?s Billy D. Badass that you?ve seen. He?ll kick your ass if the odds are right, It?s easy to tell that he?s wound too tight. He never shows any sign of fear, He gets his courage from the beer. He plays football and wears a jacket, His music is unholy racket, He wears a belt with a big brass buckle, Scars from his battles on his knuckles. Every inch a big he-man, Works out all week and keeps a tan, What is he trying so hard to prove? Why doesn?t he fit in any grove? Inward rage turned outward again, Just a sign of inner pain, Who is not confused at seventeen, Especially if he is a queen?

SQUAK!! :oops: :oops: :oops: :-D UMmmmm Peaches.

The school reminds me a bit of Dr. Xavier's X-mansion- where, as a kid, I wanted to go since I was obviously a mutant. I'll read the whole thing but I think I'm gonna crash nowwwwwwww...... SNOG! ......................

Cool- then I think we're on the same page. I read the Confusion Sets in and from a sociological stanpoint, it's really quite revealing. Kid in a one parent home, little supervision, gender issues- that's a child at risk. It's a formula that plays itself out every single day in all of our cities and towns- usually with bad results. It grinds people up and spits them out. That's what a lot of my teen years were like. As f-ed up as it sounds, it was a lot more socially acceptable to be a head than a fag. I could hide in that subculture and find acceptance. Believe it or not, heads (potheads- as opposed to people that use other things) are really dear sweet mellow people for the most part. They are lonely kids, angry kids, gay kids, divorced kids, abused kids, neglected kids, poor kids, rich kids and sometimes even eagle scouts. They tend to be socially awkwark or very smooth, fat or skinny. Disturbed or normal. If you get where I'm going, they are alot like us. Some are open while others are quite secretive about smoking out and you would never know. It is a culture all it's own. It's interesting for a number of reasons- primarily because people need to know. Ignorance screws people up faster than anything. Kids ignorance, parents ignorance, teachers ignorance. Hell, my parents used to like me better stoned because I wouldn't fight with them. How's that for a crazy, f-ed up, mixed message?

As has been brought up a couple of times, sometimes names and nicknames can get confusing when there's more than a few. It is common in plays and some stories that I've seen to have a list of the main characters with a blurb to help the reader place them. Authors: What are your thoughts? Readers: Would it help? I'm writing something now that involves a lot of people and I'm thinking that it might be useful.

This song haunts me. Yeah- sure it's not high art but even a blind squirell is going to find a nut every now and then. I speaks to me in a way that really gets under my skin reminding me of some one a long time ago. Someone who's laughter was music to me. Someone who filled that hole in my soul. Someone whose pain was torment to me. Someone whose life was dearer to me than my own. Someone who made me feel human instead of the horrible, feral thing that I became. Someone who would wrap their arms around me and there was nothing else- just light and warmt and the pain was gone. Someone who was all the joy on heaven and earth to me. Someone that I watched die an inch at a time as the light drained out of my world. I've never been the same since. It's been almost 10 years and I still dream about him. I wake up and cry. I see him sometimes. It's not really him. Just people that look like him and I know that my expression freaks them out. It's better now but some things don't heal. I see him as we were in my dreams and in my nightmares I see him in so much pain at the end with wires, tubes and hoses all over him. I asked God to take me instead. No I begged him on my knees but he never listens. The cruel bastard left me here alone instead. ...and they say that I'm the one who needs to be forgiven. I'm sorry. I'm more than a little f-ed up. Trying to learn to live again. ==================================== Broken I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well I wanna hold you high and steal your pain ?Cause I?m broken when I?m open And I don?t feel like I am strong enough ?Cause I?m broken when I?m lonesome And I don?t feel light when you?re gone away The worst is over now and we can breathe again I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away There?s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight I wanna hold you high and steal your pain ?Cause I?m broken when I?m open And I don?t feel like I am strong enough ?Cause I?m broken when I?m lonesome And I don?t feel right when you?re gone away ?Cause I?m broken when I?m open And I don?t feel like I am strong enough ?Cause I?m broken when I?m lonesome And I don?t feel light when you?re gone away

That's a good topic I'm going to address. I'm having similar issues. Look for a new thread. A man is never taller than when he encourages a kid.