bi_janus
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Blog Comments posted by bi_janus
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Well, Des, if you wanted a distressed hornets' nest, I think you got one. I read the comments following you piece, and somehow I think many who read it missed the point.
I must say that phallic symbolism is present in many Asian traditions where it represents one phase of the life force, including libido, arising from an unconscious, motiveless ground. If your point is that making love in all its forms should supplant the encrustations of organized religion, then we will have to move to a point where we trust our natures, a point to which it seems difficult to travel given our profound cultural distrust of that nature.
The fine story, in which the father may represent any too long existing prejudice, is sweet.
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Thank you, James, very much indeed. The way of virtue, yes?
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Actually, the biggest reaction these days is to the fact that none of them washes his hands, and then there's the smoking. Mostly, they laugh because the assistance is so matter of fact. The women in the courses find it uniformly hilarious, and there's always a contingent of men who say, "Ewwww!" like schoolboys during a kissing scene in a movie.
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Try "Gong Xi Fa Cai"
Gong Xi=respectfully wishing joy
Fa Cai=becoming wealthy or prosperous
A traditional New Year greeting, but not the literal 新年快樂 or Xin Nian Kuai Le. Very practical, the Chinese.
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Old style characters always confuse modern machine translators. As an old character, I appreciate that difficulty.
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You have that lean but not hungry for brains look. A couple of theaters where I live have very high res DLP projectors--impressive but almost too perfect. I keep looking for the little blobs that warn the projectionist that a reel change is coming.
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Getting off auto-pilot and examining one's life is such a fruitful occupation. Discovering that you live in a different world than that described by religious teachers of any stripe is a hard won triumph of the spirit. I am full of admiration that you managed that feat at seventeen.
I was fortunate to fall in with Buddhists at an early age (they never thought of themselves as any kind of -ists). They encouraged me to cultivate silence in which I could look at and listen to the world, and allowed me to discover that people who are constantly yammering cannot manage self-examination, much less encourage it in others. They were powerless and loving in behavior and word. I will say that one old man who was very helpful to me equated the eschatological crap being taught to young kids in Sunday Schools with child abuse (many Buddhist sects are guilty of the same abuse).
I admire your seriousness in looking at your place in the world from time to time. The world seems a lovelier place with people like you in it.
And alas, sometimes an elephant trunk is just an elephant trunk.
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We should celebrate your brand of impudence (maybe a national holiday). Educators should weep for joy when they encounter this kind of impudence in students. I hope that you're still impudent in this way until you draw your last breath. The impudence to stand before the mob proudly as different (no matter what the difference) is what startles and shatters the mob, and, as for you, reveals friends among the shards. You had mad skills, and I wish I had been there.
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Reading this is like hearing a more interesting conclusion to a James Lipton interview. Five + years of sobriety is no easy slog. You should be proud. And, ahh, fire stations. You seem to have come out better than Rimbaud, who never developed this much self-awareness, but then, he didn't give himself much time.
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That you stayed, reveals your heart. I'm just happy you weren't hurt.
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Your clarification is more nuanced than the original post. I agree with your essential points. Thanks.
I wish I had more faith that humans will abandon a slavish devotion to labels.
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First, I am touched by your sensitivity to those of us who are labeled or who label ourselves as bisexual. I never felt confused in terms of sexual desire, but I have experienced doubts from others as to the existence of my particular complication. I was prepared for distrust and even hatred from a segment of the straight community, but was quite unprepared for the level of distrust I experienced from the queer community. To be fair, much of that distrust occurred when the community was defining itself and finding its way. When you're trying to chart a course for gay men, probably not a good idea to muddle the issue with semi-queers. I was also struck by the level of animosity, almost a blood sport, between gay men and lesbians. But, as a sort of political correctness has settled over the community, things have improved in these regards.
As to intimacy, I've come to view men as living on a continuum of comfort with intimacy from total inability to form intimate relationships with other men to almost total comfort with that intimacy. A man's place on that continuum has little to do with any orientation to sexual behavior. I've had very intimate relationships with straight, gay, and bisexual men that had nothing to do with sex. I suspect that how men find their places on that continuum is too complex to reduce to a single theory.
Humans seem to have a need to establish a unique position in the world. That need disposes many to define any who do not conform tightly to a defined position as "other." To homophobes we're all the same, "other." But, we're human and jostle to claim our own identities within the community.
If I knew everyone who was sexually attracted to men and women, I'd find a palette of gradation such that almost every member of the group would require his or her own label. That number of labels renders all labels superfluous.
Last, do I understand you to believe that the existence of labels requires kids to choose one? If so, I'm not sure that's true. Good families, good schools, good parents, good teachers, and good friends can let kids know that labels, while sometimes convenient, don't tell a very complete story, notwithstanding their need to fit in.
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Sharing your name is an act of trust, so thank you, Ben.
Usernames, pseudonyms, pen names, whatever, may hide a host of vices or virtues. As to publishing, I think consistency is most important. Regardless of what you call yourself, the name shouldn't be a moving target for publishers or readers. Then, I do have a few friends who publish under different pen names for different genres. My impression is that if you create quality (even if quality only means attracting a particular demographic), most publishers will be happy with any name you choose (unless you choose something like John Updike). Finally, any pseudonym can be cracked with enough resources. So, maybe just settling for the name you were given at birth is the best idea.
This is the paragraph where the guy with the pseudonym who's been musing on your post rationalizes the fact that he uses one here, but I won't.
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Were you in the Stonewall riot?
in Maneuvering toward death
A blog by bi_janus in General
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Ben, you are well and truly a young'un. You are right about the OS. Mountain Lion will move the two operating systems a bit closer. I find the ambience at Apple Stores distressing because I dislike feeling like a pinball that can't negotiate the store in a straight line of more than three feet. Too many people for my limited social skills.