dude

Hi gang, Our Tragic Rabbit is trying out something new for him... a first-person, internal narrative is how I see it. It lacks dialogue totally and is totally the flow of consciousness or maybe unconsciousness of it's hero. It is a short story called SOMETHING ABOUT TOM. I like it, how about you?

Good point Graeme.... I am a broadcast journalist... and currently work for "America's GLBT Radio Station." Everyday I have to read stories about gay bashing... gay teens murdered because of their sexual orientation... you know, that kind of stuff. For that reason... I prefer something that makes me feel good when I curl up in bed in the evening with the wireless laptop. Like to leave the depressing stuff behind.... That is my own personal point of view... and I guess there are those who would agree with it.. and others who would disagree. Just putting it out there....

I have never read any critical comments... positive or negative on either Groovy Kind of Love or Jagged Angel, Pecman. I have occasionally mentioned them, but have not seen any other author, editor or reader here at the AwesomeDude Forum comment, at least here in public. Have you scared them all off... you know "best defense is a good offense" kind of thing? :p

Why do I start having less-than-good feelings about this story and Ryan's motivation in writing it? The entire first half of Chapter Five seems to be aimed at leading Jaylin and therefore the reader along a carefully plotted course of deception. I have the feeling this story is part of some creative writing assignment by one of Ryan's professors and not so much a story that Ryan wants to tell. Although this is not a "bail point" for me, it was less than enjoyable reading.

Well... I thought this story might be a candidate for New Writers Series... and the with application of constructive suggestions and encouragement might develop into a good story.... However with the pre-emptive strikes just made... I would be afraid to bring it up with the authors. :oops:

In a previous posting I dropped the link to Nick Archer's Jumping the Shark In Gay Fiction. http://www.keithmorrisette.com/14_Stuff%20...0Directory.html I want to add my disclaimer. Take it with a grain of salt.. A talented writer can take any of the points he mentions... violate them and still come up with great story. I don't have much patience with teachy-preachy stuff. If you have it... you'll catch on fast and find your own level. If you don't, all the tips, rules and "this pisses me off" diatribes won't help you. Constructive feedback from readers, editors and other writers can help, but you must have that creative spark to begin with.

You can read Jumping The Shark - Nick Archer piece... on Keith's site http://www.keithmorrisette.com/14_Stuff%20...0Directory.html

Thanks RP... well I have not given up on Everything's Eventual at all.. it has just been a while now since I saw any "action" as far as the story moving forward and doubt there will be any of the other kind of action at all. That is NOT a problem at all. I think I should run a poll and ask what is more important in a story... romance or sex? As far as choosing new writers and stories to pursue.. I find it a real challenge.. sometimes a story just leaps out at you as did Drama Club.. which I was sold on after two chapters.. others take longer. I will do my best to check out the one you just mentioned... althoiugh it won't be before the weekend.. as this is a hectic week for me. Many thanks... RP and keep your eyes open for me... it is greatly appreciated!

ooooh! I like this thread. I think we have established that "Bail Points" can differ from reader to reader... and writers can have them as well... the point where the story is just too difficult to carry on.. or often when the author is writing on the web too close to real time.. he/she can't go back and fix something in the plot without seeming a total fool. So we have a "readers bail point" and a "writer's bail point" which are closely related.. a point where it seems it is useless to go on. It might be fair to say... that I have found Bail Points in stories that I really liked and ultimately loved. I am enjoying Drama Club and in it's thread I mentioned the bashing at the end of Part Ten brought me close to a Bail Point. I totally love The Least Of These but I ran into another Bail Point there... when the rape took place in the school basement. There was even a Bail Point in Perry and Jesse for me.... and there were several in Jagged Angel. In all these cases, I somehow continued reading the story and ultimately am glad I did. I think I mentioned once that I generally seek stories that I personally like for AwesomeDude and also that I like to host stories that push my own personal envelope a bit. It is the only way to grow, I guess. So the flashing warning "Bail Point" doesn't alarm me as much as it used to.

Welcome to AwesomeDude Forums, aj. You are always welcome here so come often (whoops) and tell your friends! Just one thing, don't give too much encouragement to that guy Ben Dover. He already thinks he is fabulous! :)

Lest it be said dude is a goody two-shoes who praises every chapter by every author... I thought for the most part Chapter 10 was great. We learned some deeper things about our characters, making them more understandable. Camille was well done and more of Doug came out in this chapter. Anthony emerges from the shadows and we learn a hell of a lot more about Angel. And we meet Trey, whom I was really beginning to identify with. The Drama Club geek... so repressed he didn't even know he had feelings. That was me in high school. Then the boom is lowered... literally. The extreme act of violence at the end of the chapter really put me off. I suppose we won't have to wait as long to find out what happens as we did with Justin at the end of Season One of Queer As Folk... but it looks pretty bad. Before I started this site, I read a lot of stories on Nifty. I often get to a point in a story, my bail point, where my defense mechanism kicks in. Something happens that I just don't want to read about it. Usually, when I'd hit my bail point I'd do just that... move on to another story more to my liking. Having been a news reporter for er, a while... I know I have to put up with the reality stuff every day. The Matt Shepard, Jesse Valencia, Scotty Joe Weaver stories. Somehow, when I read fiction, for me it is an escape from that. Sorry to say, the last paragraph of Chapter 10 was pretty close to my bail point. Anybody else have a similar response? Or am I -just like my old HS classmate, Ben Dover, used to say when I took long showers in PE and almost missed lunch- all wet? By the way, I'm not gonna bail. I am already committed to the characters and the story... not to mention the writer! Keep up the good work, you wascally wabbit!

Really nice to hear from Josh again on the AwesomeDude Forums. Let me add my thanks, Josh, for your posting The Least Of These here and inspiring us "young folks" of all ages. I really enjoyed Sea Change and remember that it was that story that brought us together the first time. We will be happy to re-serialize it in it's "polished" form for the first time anywhere on the web here on AwesomeDude. And all the best to Josh in the new career... may you make as much money as Mickey and Davey!

I wouldn't call anything Sigur Ros does as Trance. More post-rock, I would guess. In case nobody noticed, the current logo for AwesomeDude Forums is a pic of our Icelandic boyz.

Indeed, Blue.... the entire mail crew gang are "Awesome Dudes.!"

Now Ben.... how many times have I told you to be nice to our regulars here at Awesomedude? That said There was a young lad down in Dallas Who had such a wonderful phallus But he hid it away And in drag clubs did play For in heels and a dress, he was Alice

I have to agree, guys. I have been following Kayden since Chapter One on Nifty. Ryan is a great example of the kind of young writer who will always be welcome here at AwesomeDude. And for that lil dude, Aaron, well he is great also. He'll go far in life because he does everything with a passion. I consider the entire gang at www.themailcrew.com as family here at AwesomeDude.

Hi Toph... Wow a year "out" and you are starting your senior year. It sounds like a great starting point for a story. Being out at home with great folks, must be a comfort. I wonder how "out" you are in a Texas school? It would seem like a scary prospect, knowing most Texans. Our other Texans who hang out here, Josh, Blue & Joey must know what I am talking about. Anyway, I congratulate and envy you. (ok gang, let's say it in unison) "I wish I was your age again and knew what I know now!"

Paul, When I read your posting, it was all I could to do to hold my anger. I wanted to lash out and punish Marc's incredibly unfeeling and cruel parents. But rather than letting my anger take control, I pointed my good friend in North Carolina to your posting and asked his advice. Sequoyah replied: "Beyond the fact that human beings are capable to unbelievable cruelty and the loss of any young person takes from all of us unknown potential, this is a story which is certainly illustrative of what the code words "family values" really mean. Good that you are not responding out of your anger. This young man will be dealing with his anger for a very long time, of that I am most sure out of my own life experience. The anger of others can, given his own, not comfort, but add negative emotions for him to deal with. As Keith and Tom say about death, it is not something you get over, but learn to deal with--how well you must understand that!. Your--my--response has to be in one way or another, "I am here." Strange the words of that song "Reach Out" have been running through my head today and it says very well what Mitch needs to hear right now. Same with his parents. Sad that Marc's parents have chosen to cut themselves off from another hurting family. The guilt they must deal with--constructively or otherwise--is enormous and, sad to say, out of their guilt (not I suspect their anger) they have attacked, cutting, hurting. Again, just be present." I guess the "old man" is right again, Paul. My heartfelt condolences and best wishes to you, Rick, Grasshopper and to Mitch and his family. If there is anything I can do.. I'll be here.

I agree, Trent. It also has some great characters, in addition to the main ones, including Granpa Bentolli. Did you read Sea Change by Josh? It was the first of his stories that I read and led to our original dialogue. Josh has said he had wanted to polish and edit it a bit and a couple of us are encouraging him to do just that and then maybe re-serialize it here at AwesomeDude. What do you think?

Blue, Stick with the story. It gets better and better. You'll find that once Davey and Mickey get the sex thing figured out... they move on to what is really important in relationships. Josh has crafted an excellent story here which I think will be a benchmark in defining what young male-male relationships could be. Kudos Josh... and glad to have you on AwesomeDude

Congratulations, Blue! They say even the longest journey starts with a single step. And you have made it. As for coming out of the closet... for most of us it a gradual thing and it isn't for everybody, but it gets easier each time. And everytime we come out to a friend or family member we put a human face on being gay to one more person... which in turn makes it easier for the next guy. All the best,

Well, Gang let me have a shot at this limerick thing.... Gabe was a young chef up in Frisco Who met a cute lad at a disco His name was Stu He loved cooking too And he showed Gabe just how to use Crisco

Put that pistol down, babe Put that pistol down... Pistol packin' mama, Put that pistol down... LOL.. sorry about the pistol whipping remark... a weak attempt at humor. Your efforts are appreciated by all, wibby, including Joey... I am sure. I agree Drama Club and its author are well worth our time and investment in it. Joey writes with a passion that is hard to find these days. I wish I had a dozen of him! :D

You know, Blue... the story doesn't seem to have any life whatsoever. It is so obvioius that it is writtern by someone quite a bit older and out of touch with young people and the characters... with the exception of Rick and Travis seem so lifeless. And Rick has been banished to Florida. Guess R.H. Lee was afraid something might happen between the two if he didn't separate him from Ryan. The dancing around betwen Ryan and Rick was so cliched despite the fact that each knew the other was gay. Sorry, just think the story is terribly dull and going nowhere. Anybody else have an opinion?

OK, OK, When I invited Tragic Rabbit to join us here as part of the New Writers Series, it was because I read his early chapters on Nifty and identified what I believe is his excellent potential. We have worked hard to develop a family atmosphere here and our goal is to help those really serious about mastering the craft of fiction writing along the way. We have a number of talented folks here and unfortunately a number of them -at the moment- are on summer or extended weekend vacations. I have to remind everybody here, that except for the stories that made their debut here... Nick Nurse's Aurora, Sequoyah's MOON WATCHING and Ryan Keith's One Life, all of the stories and authors were scouted by me from the pages of... yes you guessed it.... Nifty Archives. I kind of look on Nifty like I look on the sea. It is a place of vast resources, some good... some bad... some mediocre. (Notice how I avoided the good, bad & ugly comparison) I am not a fiction writer, and realizing that what I am good at is spotting talent... I, with encouragement from Keith Morrisette, Nick Nurse and Underthehoodster, decided to start AwesomeDude as a place where readers and writers could come together to enjoy some of the best of what had been published on Nifty and also have a safe haven where creative ideas could be tried out and encouragement could be taken from peers. So far that has been working out quite nicely. The only difference betwen authors in our New Writers Series and those other authors on the site is that those with the Red Letter notations behind their names are actively seeking the advice and counsel of their peers. Thus the red flags to draw your attention to them, as well as the threads here in this part of the forums so they may be conveniently addressed. I think that most of the comments made are to the point and are good. I really don't want any of our folks, though, to get the idea that they have the right to "pistol whip" anyone participating in the program or that anyone is senior to anyone else. A good example is the reference to the wearing of make-up by male students in public schools. It is a widespread practice for the kids with the "goth" look or whatever to do so. It is so common and widespread that it, in itself, has become a non-issue with most students... just a way of self-expression. The gay issue, however, is another thing. But to say that Joey doesn't know what he is talking about on this matter is not wise. Unless you are a teacher, administrator, student or parent you probably are not in a position to comment on that. And since Joey, as he points out in his bio, IS a speech and drama teacher at a public school, I would probably defer to him on this matter. I think it is just too easy to generalize and frame things our own limited views of the world. As writers I would hope that everyone would be a little more open minded as we try provide help to those who have requested it.