Cole Parker

Do all the work, huh? You have it cut out for you. I don't envy you. That's heavy lifting, from way down under like that. C

"I'm rapidly becoming a Cole Parker 'fan'. Camy " Awww, shucks! I'm not used to having fans. I don't know how to act! Thanks for the very kind words. These stories were lots of fun to write. I hope everyone can enjoy them. Cole

Seems I'm not alone. Others have suffered as well. I always hated the stupidity of it all. Smart people can work together and make it all happy and efficeint and productive and safe and legal. They can if given a chance. Everyone suffers when that isn't allowed to happen. Cole

Cole, gee, I feel honoured as I have long since admired your writing and stories. HOW VERY KIND OF YOU. THANKS. IT CAN'T HAVE BEEN THAT LONG, HOWEVER. I'M KINDA NEW TO THIS WHOLE THING MYSELF. When I first started the story I wrote the first half of the first chapter and the last half of the last chapter in one night/morning. (I'm a night person). The middle was a very clear idea and I knew would take a lot of work. So I thought I should do the right (write) thing and do an outline. So far so good. When I went back to writing the story I felt clearer in my mind as to where it was going, what it wanted to do whilst I was gently steering it. I realised then that I had abandoned a lot of the silly things that had been in the outline. They had changed grown or matured differently to my initial thoughts. I was enjoying this process. The story was as you say finding itself. I once went back to "update" the outline. Definitely over thinking in that one. I then had some doubts about some similar events and situations I was reading in other stories which made me feel like I was not being as original as I thought. THAT THINKING WILL GET YOU EVERY TIME. I OFTEN FIND MYSELF MY WORST ENEMY. IT'S SO EASY TO CONVINCE MYSELF WHAT I'M WRITING IS WORSE THAN A LOAD OF CRAP. IF YOU FEEL YOURSELF THINKING THAT WAY, STOP IT! IT'S MORE THAN DESTRUCTIVE, IT'LL JUST TEAR YOU UP AND SPIT YOU OUT AND STOMP ON YOU. I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU THE NUMBER OF HALF FINISHED STORIES I'VE ABANDONED JUST BECAUSE I'VE STARTED FEELING THAT WAY. THERE ARE FORTY ELEVEN REASONS TO DESPAIR OVER YOUR WRITING. THINKING IT ISN'T ORIGINAL ENOUGH IS NUMBER 16 AND A HALF, I THINK. EVEN IF IT ISN'T ENTIRLY ORIGINAL, AND IT'S DIFFICULT FOR ANYTHING TO BE ENTIRELY ORIGINAL, WE ALL BEING THE PRODUCTS OF OUR ENVIRONMENTS AND READING, YOU'RE PUTTING YOUR OWN SLANT ON IT, YOU'RE FACING OFF YOUR CHARACTERS' PERSONALITIES AND PROCLIVITIES AGAINST WHATEVER PLOT BACKDROP YOU'VE CHOSEN, AND TO THAT EXTENT, IT'S ORIGINAL. That didn't help the flow. The changes in direction that this seemed to demand was discouraging. I am realising many of the problems have crept in from the over thought outline and are incompatible with the spontenaiety. So you have definitely helped with that comment. I HAVE LEARNED ONE THING VERY WELL FROM THE WRITING I'VE DONE. A WRITER HAS TO WEAR MANY HATS. THAT MIGHT BE A PROBLEM; I PREFER TO THINK OF IT AS A REALLY FUN CHALLENGE. ONE OF THOSE HATS, A VERY LARGE AND COLORFUL ONE, HAS TO BE CALLED YOU 'PROBLEM SOLVING' HAT. EVERY STORY YOU WRITE, YOU'LL FACE PROBLEMS. SOLVING THEM UNIQUELY, INTERESTINGLY, CLEVERLY, CREATIVELY, IS ONE OF OUR CHALLENGES, AND WE ALL FACE IT. YOU'LL BE LUCKY IF YOU'RE EVER ABLE TO WRITE ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T PRESENT ONE OR MORE PROBLEMS BEFORE YOU'VE TACKED 'THE END' ON THE HIND SIDE OF IT. ONE THING I LIKE TO TRY TO SOLVE PROBLEMS IS HUMOR. HUMOR CARRIES US A LONG, LONG WAY. The fact that you have all responded to my post with such empathy really helps overcome my self doubts. BELIEVE ME, NO ONE HAS MORE SELF DOUBT THAN I DO. YOU HAVE TO IGNORE IT. YOU SIMPLY HAVE TO. You have given the impetus and the breathing space, I needed. Just knowing that others understand where I find myself is really encouraging. Not that I am going to give up on it, but I did feel like it was giving up on me before you all replied. IF YOU DO, WE'LL NEVER KNOW HOW GOOD YOU COULD HAVE BECOME. EVEN WORSE, YOU WON'T KNOW, AND WILL ALWAYS WONDER. YOU DON'T WANT TO WISH THAT ON YOURSELF, DO YOU? KEEP GOING. ALL YOU'RE LOSING IS A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP, AND YOU SOUND LIKE THE RESTLESS TYPE TO ME ANYWAY. GOOD LUCK. WE ALL NEED IT. COLE Now where is that coffee? Thank you so much.

Trab (it's also an anagram for Brat, but we'll ignore that) Me thinks he's too private, intensely private, for this to be discussed. I just realized, that's probably why he picked a raccoon as an avatar. The mask! Why didn't I see it earlier? Silly of me. C

Are you learning trust? For such an intensely private person, it's surprising that you'd reveal you have a shirt. And to think, I always pictured you bare-chested. Covered with raccooon fur. Cole

I haven't tried doing this before, adding useful criticism to a story fragment. I can see it's difficult. Its so easy to find things to be discouraging about, and that isn't only not what I want to do, it's also destructive. So the first thing I want to emphasize is that I see a lot of promise here, and lot of ability, a lot of reason to keep working on this. The things I say below are just my opinions and are meant to help make the story better, and to give you something to think about, not in any way to upset or discourage you. I would like this story to be less of a ramble. When I read a story, it's more comfortable if there are anchors in it I can hold on to, anchors like where we are, when we're there, who we are. With this story, it sort of moves all over the place, and I'm not sure where I am, or why, or what's important, so I have a discomfort right from the beginning. It's not a huge or unmanageable discomfort, not a reason to stop reading, but it exists, and it's easier to enjoy something if you're not feeling uncomfortable. Part of this feeing that the story is a little out of control is your verb usage. You change tenses a lot, and doing so makes the reader uncertain just where he is, what time frame he's reading in, what came earlier and what later. I got to wondering about why you'd say "my dad" and follow that up almost immediatey with "my Grandfather." Seniority doesn't change the capitalization. I like your imagination; all the memory fragments are interesting. You have some good insights and you use emotion well to make your characters compelling. I do have an innate feeling, however, that if the whole were centered a little differently, grounded perhaps, if I had a little better feel while reading it of where we are, how the chonology works, if it didnt just drift around like a helium-filled balloon that had escaped its owner, I could follow it better and have more of a sense of knowing where we were headed, both of which would make reading it more enjoyable. I think you have great promise here. I also think you need to do a little more work, think about exactly what you want to accomplish and perhaps restructure it somewhat to better achieve that. This of course is must one man's opinion, and your story to do with as you wish. I think it can be great. Cole

I haven't read the story yet, but have added it to my favorites list and will do so when I have a couple moments. Thanks for the recommendation. And of course thanks to WBMS for his kind words about my writing. I always heard raccoons are not terribly discriminating in their tastes; I guess this is proof positive. I'd like to take a moment to talk about the comments herein about the stories posted at the A/Y section of Nifty. I posted one there, When He Was Five. It will supposedly be posted here at AD when Prom has finished its run. This seems a good opportunity to discuss why I wrote it, and why it was posted where it was. I guess like you guys, I was offended when I read a couple stories in that section. They seemed intent upon taking any blame from any adults having sex with kids. They blamed the kids, or somehow tried to make any sex that occured exculpatory. I don't know what world these writers inhabit, but in this one, sex between an adult and a child almost always results in severe mental and physical anguish for the child, sometimes affecting his entire life. Whatever excuses the writers create, they are disingenuous. After reading a couple of these, I decided I wanted to write a story, and post it to that section, showing what I felt was the proper relationship between a boy and a man, using the background so common in those stories of where the man was in a position of rescuing the boy, then assuming a postion of caring for him. I didn't have any illusions that such a story would have any effect on those who read in this section and felt the stories there were how the world should work, but it made me feel better to think at least there was such a story there that someone could stumble across. I was a bit surprised with the reaction my story engendered. I was inundated with mail, every bit of it laudatory. I decided that there were other people that looked at the stories there with the same disgust I felt, and were pleased to see a more realistic depiction of what might, could, perhpas would happen if a small boy were scooped out of harms way by a man. Cole