Cole Parker

Trab! And you're the one who doesn't read between the lines or extrapolate! But I love it! Cole

Colin, I wasn't complaining about the "that guy" usage early on in the story, only the cases after Todd had introduced himself the next morning. Bo was not drunk at that time; the name should have stuck, and the chapter would simply read a bit more straightforwardly if "that guy" were replaced by "Todd" in many of the places where "that guy" is used. But it's certainly a matter of opinion rather than right or wrong. I usually go by the rule that anything in writing that distracts us from being in the story itself and makes us think about the writing is a distraction that interferes with our immersion in the story. C

That was just me screwing up again, Trab. My message got posted twice, I tried to remove one of them and couldn't, so did what you see.Computers and I don't mix.C

There's probably something wrong with me. I just read the first chapter and didn't experience the same problems you guys did. At the very first it was a little confusing, but most stories I read are a little confusing at the very first, and I've learned to accept that and read on. If it doesn't clear itself up, that's one thing, but here, it became clear what was happening very quickly. I don't think that aspect needs to be tweaked at all. I did have some minor gripes, and mailed them to David. I feel sort of shy about pointing out errors in someone's writing in public, even if he's asked us to. It just doesn't sit well with me. I guess I can share one concern I had. I didn't like Bo calling Todd "that guy" to himself when he was thinking about him. That seemed awkward to me, as Todd had already introduced himself. If someone introduces himself, and you know his name, then you don't think of him as "that guy," you think of him by the name you have for him. I like what I've read so far. It seems like it could go in several directions from this point. It'll be interesting to see how it develops. Cole

Me thinks thou do worrieth too much. You're not only going to pass writing, your score is going to be in a very high percentile of those tested.I've been in a position once or twice to look at the writing skills of today's youth. They are, in a word, atrocious. Your skill is head and shoulders above that of the masses, even those masses who attend college. Your writing is imaginative, creative, and unquestionably of passing quality for whomever is grading the paper. Even if he/she is a pedant who looks to see grammatical and structural rules are being followed more than at what it being said, you'll pass with flying colors.Don't worry about it!C

Ah, that's the problem then. I was wearing my 'on the line' glasses.C

Now I know I'm in trouble. I expect to not know what EleCivil is talking about when he's describing concert behavior and the music. But when Camy's post is just as confusing, I know I'm over the hill.C

I've just returned from Italy where I saw Europe's answer to high gas prices being driven on the streets of Rome. It isn't quite as cute as the pictured car above, butit is cute and it's in mass production and available over there. Probably not over here. We're not that smart yet.Which brings me to it's name. It's the Smart car.Look at it here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5217861I think EleCivil would prefer the other one, though. It certainly is quirkier.Cole

I keep reading that the most unprejudiced among us are all colorblind. That being the case, my hair color is immaterial and shouldn't be the source of inquiry. And I think the cop had other things on his mind anyway. And what did the bald guy say when asked about his shiny pate? "Hair today, gone tomorrow."Actually, I'm not bald. But if you are, doesn't that simply prove you've got more testosterone than the next guy?C

RAD: That might explain why the last time a cop stopped me and had me give him my license, he then asked me to step out of the car and drop my pants. It didn't explain why he then wanted me to bend over. That confused me until the pain started.Cole

Well, if no one else in interested, I sure am. Jason, what happened? Don't just write that and walk away from it! So you're having a very good time indeed with your friend in the living room (probably not the best choice of rooms, but it was probably just a passion of the moment kind of thing?) and in walks your father. He sees you, gasps, and. . . .I'm waiting for the rest of the story.Cole

I was thinking this was getting a bit syrupy and wondering why, when it struck me. No Raccoon. No bitter with the sweet, no sharp with the smooth, no caustic wit to pierce the pleasant bubble that's forming here.Enjoy. It won't last long! Cole

Let me join the chorus. I read it a couple years ago. Very, very good story, and excellent writing. It's bound to draw you in. Once started, you'll finish it. Guananteed. Cole

Thanks for IDing him. Now, my only problem is, I don't remember him at all! It's funny because I can recall everyone else in that picture, but not him.My problem is, I didn't see some of the episodes, and I suppose he might not have been in them all. The show was aired or Friday nights here, and I was usually out then, and I tend not to watch a whole lot of TV anyway. Though why I feel the need to apologize is somewhat scary.I did think it was unexpectedly fine writing for a teen show, and wish it had continued. I guess I'm not alone in that.Cole

Des, you just don't understand the benefits of a pucker prodder of the female persuasion. They are vastly more gentle, and it can become more of a massage than a mauling. Why, you almost look forward to the experience. Almost.But as for plurals and such, since you obviously qualify as an expert, tell me, is it anum anus, or a num anus? I suppose it depends on the doctor.C

Now wait just a minute here! We were having a perfectly fine and pleasant discussion of a doctor's visit, and we degererated into this? Playing doctor with our cousin? Where's the decorum?<G>I was all set to remark how different it was when I went to doctors and they were all 42 years older than I was, versus going now when I'm about the same number of anum older than they. (What is the plural of anum, anyway? I never took Latin.) The dynamic is indeed different. I have a woman doctor and she younger than I. Well, most people are, but we don't talk about that much. But having a woman check you out is quite startling, till you get used to it. I'm used to it. Well, almost.Des, I'm glad you're feeling better, just because someone spoke kindly to you. Makes me wonder if you needed a doctor at all, or just more frequent visits to the forums here. Would have saved you some money. Think about it.Cole

Okay, here's where I date myself (No, not that way. I mean make myself passe. Oh, wait, I'm already that.) Which one is Seth Rogan? I liked/disliked Freaks and Geeks. Loved the boys, hated the destructive choices the girl made. Maybe I was supposed to. But I'm wondering who the favorite, Seth Rogan was. The geeky guy, who was done spectacularly, the cute guy who ran around school nude, or the pudgy guy? Or was he the band guy the girl liked?I'm very happy the finances are looking better. I think we all are.C

Rad: I don't write 'em, I just pass 'em along. I do seem to have a bunch of correspondents with eclectic tastes, however, and I try to cull the wheat from what chafes. Don't want to weary the readers here with tripe. Oh, and I guess I neglected to add my welcome when you were left at our doorstep. Glad to have you aboard. Now, anyone want to count the mixed or mangled meatphors in this? Cole

Promises, promises. C

No one can possibly deviate when confronted by the combined power of the Glorious Raccoon and the Auburn-Haired Teen! Maybe I'm not reading this correctly, but this appears to be saying the the raccoon and the redheaded precocious youth are the two greatest deviants at this site. I, for one, will not argue the point. C

I guess you could look at it that way if you wanted to, Colin, or you could simply realize you've been brain-washed.<g> C

James, that was marvelous! Thank you. C

It is useful. There are one or two little things I disagree with in it, matters I think of as choice rather than rule, but I'll allow them to go unmentioned less a certain rabid masked member of the audience decides to launch another crusade. I, like the Rabbit, was taught both ways of using commas in A, B, and C constructions. I fought the change, but eventually succumbed. Changing back is difficult as we get older. Perhaps we become more contrary, or less easily duped. C

Show me the death certificate that says he was murdered. If not, he wasn't estopped from putting eyes wherever he wanted to, he just did when his life certificate expired. Sorry, no soup for you. C

Hey, I didn't think you AS guys were able to come up with stuff like that! That's very clever! I'd never thnk of a play on words like that. C