Cole Parker
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Posts
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Posts posted by Cole Parker
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No problem at all.
C
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James: is this the one you're asking about?
https://awesomedude.com/cole-parker/mr-patterson-and-the-aide/mr-patterson-and-the-aide.htm
C
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Thanks, Camy. As you can imagine, I have quite a few favorites, and this one has to be in my top five. I think I have about ten more in my top five as well.
C
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Got to be better than 2022. Got to be.
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NEITHER DID HE!
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Did she get one?
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Yep, I enjoyed that, but there isn't much Rick writes that I don't enjoy. Good Christmas tale.
C
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Happy Holidays, and if I may be permitted a Christmas wish, it's that we get off our collective duffs and get more stories submitted!
C
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Lovely beginning.
C
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I always wondered if that red nose meant he was a socialist.
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Har har har har
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Hey, write your own poem! 😀
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-- A Christmas Poem --
“Dad, here’s my list: Christmas draws near.
It shows what presents I’d treasure this year.
Things I want most are up at the top
But the first one’s enough if you don’t want to shop.”
“Give it here, Bobby, and I’ll read it right now.
My money’s quite short, and I’m not a cash cow.
“Hmmmmmm.
“OK, I’ve read it, and it is not good
Please pay attention, and heed if you would.
“I’ve read the first entry, here’s what you chose—
Though it’s really quite silly, here’s how it goes:
‘All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.’
Do you see my problem, son? See my beef?
“The trouble, my boy, is not that you stammer
The trouble instead is your execrable grammar.
You must match your nouns to go with your verbs!
I find reading this list both irks and disturbs.
“As ‘two teeth’ now stands at the top of your list
Then ‘is’ should be ‘are’ so the list’s not dismissed.
And Santa, I’ve heard, is quite the fine linguist
And his sense of propriety is aptly distinguished.
“So write this again if you hope for some presents
From Santa or anyone—even your parents.”
~ Pause for consideration, and then ~
“I hear you, Dad, your voice is quite strong,
Unfortunately, though, your logic is wrong.
But I hear what you’re saying, I certainly get it
Though your flimsy excuse does not do you credit.
“You’re making things up to save spending cash
And destroying our grammar to maintain your stash.
You’re saying I need a more appropriate verb
To match up with the noun; you’re really absurd.
You wanted a plural verb, ‘cause two’s more than one
And so no presents there’ll be, not any, just none.
“Fie,” I say, “and pshaw, and, “oh my.”
How deceitful can one be should he but try?
But I can see through you—your argument’s specious
You’re pretending and faking and grossly capricious
"Because I know as well as you do
That you’re reasoning is simply abject hoodoo.
“I gave you a list of presents I’d like
And put atop it two teeth, then a bike.
But you didn’t want to spend that much dough
Yet needed a way too soften the blow.
"But honesty needs to be sung in this case
And yours is absurd and totally base.
“And so, dear Father, here is my brief:
The noun in that sentence was ‘ I’, not ‘teeth’
Because ‘What I want is’ beats ‘What I want are’
Your excuse is nonsense and frankly bizarre.
“The list stands as written; again please eyeball it
And if you need help to open your wallet
I’ll be happy to bring you a prying crowbar
Oh, and I’ll take the bike, too, hearty har har har har.
C
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Very good!
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Another great one by Alan!
C
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thanks!
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What with flu, COVID and RSV now rampant, it seems none of us have much of a chance. Hang on, Mike. This too shall pass. -
Sent me your email address if you'd like, Jason. We can discuss this.
colepark@gmail.com
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If that's all it takes to get you here more often, I'll do more of that!
Always good to hear from you.
C
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Awwww, gee!
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I'm an optimist, as people reading my stories certainly understand. My feeling is that love can conquer early childhood training and brainwashing. I won't give up that tenet easily. I think love is an extremely powerful emotion and makes life worth living.
Happy Thnanksgiving, everyone, and don't eat too much. And exploding stomach is nothing to sneeze at.
C
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And captivating, too.
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The fact you've been relegated to a waiting list suggests others are enjoying these as well. No line, now wait: no quality.
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I lived in Indianapolis from ages 5 to 10, in the mid to late '40's. We had a 6-digit phone number which I can still remember: Broadway 8979, or BR 8979. It's quite possible we had a shorter phone number earlier than that and I only remember the latter number. I didn't use the phone much when that young. I think today's kids who have cellphones probably use them often to speak to friends. Technology has changed the world we live in.
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