Tragic Rabbit Posted September 2, 2006 Report Share Posted September 2, 2006 measure of love you ask me if I love you you measure each embrace weigh my words against your past distrust my smiling face examine close each offering for motive and intent parse apart my lines of love and ask me what I meant you price each loving present you bite to test my coin you question all my kisses hold back when we conjoin I wonder if you see me or hear the sounds I speak love is dying on the vine ill nourished by critique why can?t you simply swallow the sweets I feed to you distrust is hard and hollow love?s easier to chew * Link to comment
Camy Posted September 2, 2006 Report Share Posted September 2, 2006 That's a great poem! Link to comment
DesDownunder Posted September 2, 2006 Report Share Posted September 2, 2006 Hi TR, I found both your poems, Honeysuckle and measure of love, not only well written with depth and meaning, but also stirring long lost memories of my youth. I really liked them both. Thank you. Link to comment
Guest Gabriel Duncan Posted September 2, 2006 Report Share Posted September 2, 2006 I like this the best out of honeysuckle and artwork. This is really good. It's no overdramatic or contrived. Non-rhyming couplets . . . . Well, I think contrived is a bad word. Even though it's what I meant. For interpertation purposes "distant" would be better. The point that I wanted to make was: THIS has feeling. And I like it. But the last line irked me. Because, it doesn't have the same amount of beats that the other verses had. I totally empathise with this. i also wanted to point out the last verse has the only contractions in the whole poem. Link to comment
Tragic Rabbit Posted September 3, 2006 Author Report Share Posted September 3, 2006 I like this the best out of honeysuckle and artwork. This is really good. It's no overdramatic or contrived. Non-rhyming couplets . . . . Well, I think contrived is a bad word. Even though it's what I meant. For interpertation purposes "distant" would be better. Well, the stanzas are rhyming but thanks for saying they don't seem contrived. I contrived hard for that very effect. The point that I wanted to make was: THIS has feeling. And I like it. Thanks! Praise from on high...(and highly qualified, lol) But the last line irked me. Because, it doesn't have the same amount of beats that the other verses had. Um, as far as I know, the last line of each stanza has six beats. I totally empathise with this. Again, thanks, Gabe! i also wanted to point out the last verse has the only contractions in the whole poem. Okay...you don't like contractions? I use contractions sometimes to give lines a more natural feel or flow, and they do often come at the end of a poem, or at least at the end of an idea. Thanks for the comments, I liked this poem best from yesterday, too, though I don't think it's my best effort. It does come from experience, though I've been on both sides of that behavior. My current beaux doesn't do this, thank goodness. In large quantities, it can cause gastric distress, aside from killing off the very love it tries to measure. Kisses... TR Link to comment
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