I Wish I Were A Sissy

[Guest Rustic Monk]

I Wish I Were A Sissy

Gabriel Duncan

I wish I were a sissy;

Pretty, effeminate and witty;

Fashionable, perhaps debonair;

Passionate, with an even, seductive stare.

I wish I were a sissy.

If only I could pull it off.

But I?m too comfortable,

In my camouflage and miss-matched socks.

I wish I were a sissy.

Maybe then we?d get along.

But all my strutting?s got them thinking,

I must have got it wrong.

If I were caught; there?d be no asking,

And even less to tell.

Who I fuck is less than half me.

But who am I to dwell?

I wish I were a sissy.

But my stature has them fooled.

I?m up to my turtleneck in pussy,

One more punch I didn?t pull.

I wish I were a sissy;

Friendly, confidant and clean.

Spunky like a twinky,

Some kind of timeless novelty.

I wish I were a sissy.

Because they see me as a snake.

Like a tunneling wolf spider,

Waiting for some stupid woman to take the bait.

If I could fake it,

I guess I would.

But I?ve tried all I can,

And straight porn does me no good.

I wish I were a sissy,

Another step above.

I wish I were a sissy;

Just like all the men I love.

I wish I were a sissy.

The kind society wants me to be.

My own kind finds me lacking,

Str8-acting, gay deficiency.

[Tanuki Racoon]

I wish I were a sissy.

Because they see me as a snake.

...

My own kind finds me lacking,

Str8-acting, gay deficiency.

One of your best ones yet.

[Guest Rustic Monk]

This poem seems to fit in with themes found in Abstention Proclaimation, Serial Monagomaist, and most notably, Ex-Gay.

More to the point, though, this is somewhat of a reply to Tragic Rabbit's comments in the Reader's Rule thread "My Coming Out Story". I don't want to start a flame war. http://www.awesomedude.com/adboard/index.p...ost&p=10223

LOL. Whatever. I shouldn't have even typed that. You can get a reply rant when you write a reply poem. No more piggy-backing for you.

Anyway, I just thought it was stupid, how Joey got so worked up because someone actually acknowledged the fact that most gay kids go into drama or some other limp-wristed class they won't get hassled in. He said that he didn't wear a neon sign on his head. But being effeminate is brighter than neon. It's a fucking billboard.

I don't know. I might be talking out of my ass here. And no, I'm not trying to say being effeminate is easier when it comes to interpersonal relations in school. It's not. And I'm not trying to be self-hating, internally homophobic or anything else you want to throw out there. But the generalization is true. Last time I checked,

Maybe Joey wasn't paying attention when I wrote I was taught to believe stereo-type don't exist and found out they did. I mean, stereo-types really do exist. It's horrible that gay people are looked down upon as lesser men because they let other men dominate them and engage in what some people think is de-masculizing behavior. And it's wrong that some people's idea of acceptance is tolerance. But there will always be people out there who think gay people are sick. Literally. They'll continue to look out for the environmental contributors, precursors and the cure.

And let me talk about not being white. Fuck you. "Circling wagons" . . . . God damn it, I'm a Mexican Indian. What do you know about not being white?

So I decided to write something about sissies, since it pushes so many buttons. I'm trying as hard as I can not to make this some kind of "my trauma was worse than yours" fight. But, the last time I checked, joey could pass for white.

So what's my point here?

Well, that is a good question, I didn't prepare my last paragraph before I started writing this. So all I've got is an offending barrage of opinions.

The point of this poem was to express the isolation I feel being masculine. Though some people might think it's easier being this way because I can pass for straight. (Somehow that doesn't seem to help me.) Just as easy as it is for white-looking latinos to pass as white. (That's my spin.) I'd be happy to take this to the varrio. It's not easy at all. And I think this poem sheds some light on that.

So excuse my rant.

From the loudest bundle of sticks here,

Gabriel Duncan

P.S.

Check out this article. Some SCSU student linked mental illness and support for President Bush. No joke.

http://www.ctnow.com/custom/nmm/newhavenad...0,1695911.story

[Jason Rimbaud]

Hey Gabe,

Love the imagery, especially the part

I wish I were a sissy,

Another step above.

I wish I were a sissy;

Just like all the men I love.

Does this mean you tend to like the "sissy men"? If so, I'm out of luck. Damn.

In all serious, I totally understand what you're saying. Being pretty masculine, I'm often mistaken for one of those str8's. And once they find out I'm gay, I always get some kind of variation of this question, Are you sure you're gay, you look so...normal.

And on the other side of the coin, "my kind" often say I act "too" straight. Though I'm not sure what they mean by that, I usually act like an asshole. Which last time I checked, is an affliction both gays and straights suffer from.

I am always amazed by the lack of acceptance or tolerance inside the "gay community" itself. I don't like showtunes, I despise Barbara, I barely know who Judy is, and I don't use words like fabulous. I've been accused of hiding my gayness behind my love of football, my horrendous taste in clothes, and the fact that I don't like to hug the entire bar when I arrive and before I leave. At times, I've stopped going to gay bars all together because its just not worth the hassle. I mean, I'm gay, I like men, and if you don't like it, we can step outside and throw down.

Anyway, I agree with WBMS, this is one of your best.

Jason R.

[Tragic Rabbit]

I am always amazed by the lack of acceptance or tolerance inside the "gay community" itself. I don't like showtunes, I despise Barbara, I barely know who Judy is, and I don't use words like fabulous. I've been accused of hiding my gayness behind my love of football, my horrendous taste in clothes, and the fact that I don't like to hug the entire bar when I arrive and before I leave.

It's BarBRA, and you're a heathen.

Hugging and kissing is fun, women (except lesbians) do it so why shouldn't men?

I've dated guys who liked football, I don't hold it against you. Do you hold the fact that I prefer ice skating championships against me?

Kisses...

TR

[Jason Rimbaud]

It's BarBRA, and you're a heathen.

Great, now you're questioning my religious beliefs. Thanks.

Just kidding, I never listen to rabbits anyway.

Hugging and kissing is fun, women (except lesbians) do it so why shouldn't men?

Unless I'm personally involved with the person (definition for person=man) I'm not much on touching

and/or hugging. I think its common for all molestation victims to stay at arms length. Besides, all that

glitter and cover-up boys sometimes wear clashes with my natural complexion, WHITE.

I've dated guys who liked football, I don't hold it against you. Do you hold the fact that I prefer ice skating championships against me?

As long as you show interest in some kind of "sport", though calling ice skating a sport is stretching reality

just a bit, I won't hold anything against you unless you ask me to first. PROMISE!

Jason R.

[Guest Rustic Monk]

LOL.

Yeah, I listen to Madonna. And I love dancing. :: shrugs ::

Ice skating is . . . . nice? :: grin? :: Heh, heh.

Speed skating is cool, though.