SAVAGE MOON

[The Pecman]

I just stumbled on this one, from prolific author Comicality, over on Nifty:

http://library.gaycafe.com/nifty/gay/sf-fantasy/savage-moon/

I thought this was a remarkable effort, first because it's uncommonly downbeat and horrific, and secondly (just to warn you) it's the author's most overtly sexual tale I've ever read.

The plot starts out simple enough: a 14 year-old minister's son, Wes, pulls a prank that leads to him being "sentenced" to a summer religious camp for wayward youths. While at the camp, he runs into a gang of runaway teenagers, who turn out to be a cult led by leader Cyrus. During the few days detailed in the story so far, Wes gets dragged down to the depths of depravity, falling into various combinations of love and lust with the gangmembers.

I thought the story was really out of the ordinary and very, very different, not only from what Comicality has done before, but also from what we normally see on Nifty. It's certainly a real departure from the "feel good" sort of thing I normally see on the net.

I like the fact that the author took so many risks with the story, and I think the concept -- despite being very dark and bleak -- is an excellent idea, almost a combination of LOST BOYS, stirred in with some Stephen King, but with heavy gay overtones.

My only criticism is that, after 15 chapters (or whatever has gone down so far), I think the author needs to give his readers some kind of payoff, sooner. I'm reminded of the LOST TV series, where eventually the producers have had to come through with an explanation on what was happening, rather than continuing to delay the answers. We need more than just a few bite-size morsals here and there.

That having been said, I'm nonetheless very impressed with what Comicality has done with the story. I think it's absolutely unique and is holding my attention, even if the story is progressing at a slow rate.

I think this is a contender for Best of Nifty. Check it out and see if you agree.

[Camy]

I agree that it's worthy of BON.

Have you read his other on-going horror story, 'Gone From Daylight'? This is overly long, too: and still incomplete. Nonetheless, it's well worth reading.

[Jason Rimbaud]

See, I totally DIS-agree with both Pecman and Camy. Which is ironic considering I hold both of these authors in great esteem.

Savage Moon starts out being a very promising story about werewolves and the struggle between religion and free-will. And for the first three chapters, it is very compelling. The characters are richly drawn and the world is very colorful. But from the forth chapter on, it quickly becomes bogged down with over-descriptive paragraphs and a meandering narrative that fails to give a payoff while dangling hope in front of the reader.

I wanted to like this story, werewolves and such is a subject I find fascinating. But by the tenth chapter, I wanted to find out where the author lived, fly there, knock on his door, and punch him right in the face for making me read such pretentious drivel.

I'm not sure if the author believes this style of writing is compelling or provocative, but I found Savage Moon to be a bit further out than boring. The characters begin rather engaging, in the first three chapters that is, but soon afterwards, they slip into the realm of one dimensional status, a few steps lower down the food chain than characters that exist in third rate porn movies from Canada.

After the third chapter, the plot falls head first into stroke city.

The lead character, I"m sorry I can't even remember his name, evolves into such a clich? of being a queer, not only tolerates but embraces situations where he is constantly manipulated into fucking other boys even though once the deed is finished, he is guilty about his sexual behavior.

And where I understand this type of story has it's place, I wonder if this is something we should be heralding as the Best of Nifty. Because to me, if this is the best Nifty has to offer, why should we even bother with constructing a list?

Jason R.

[Camy]

What Jason said

We can't all like the same things.

Whilst I would agree that, like 'Gone From Daylight', 'Savage Moon' is overly long, and the narrative does meander. I'm reading it as if it were a first draft that will eventually be edited down to a cracking good read. Not that this is likely to happen.

It would also make a great film.

Camy

[Trab]

I haven't read the story. Frankly, I'm almost certainly not going to read the story. I'm NOT a fan of werewolf stories, but I can appreciate them. I'm not a particular fan of 'stroke' stories, but I can appreciate them too, at times. I am particularly not a fan of stories which are heavily descriptive but seem endless. In the published book world, the Wheel Of Time series, by Robert Jordan is one such endless story that just loses me. I skip huge sections, just to get past the descriptions. At the end, I find that too little has changed to justify the time I've expended. Sure, it is all personal opinion, but nobody can read it all, that's why we give advice or recommendations. In this case, the information supplied by Jason R is much more useful to me, than a blanket, "it's good" and I thank him for additional comments.

[The Pecman]

Savage Moon starts out being a very promising story about werewolves and the struggle between religion and free-will. And for the first three chapters, it is very compelling. The characters are richly drawn and the world is very colorful. But from the forth chapter on, it quickly becomes bogged down with over-descriptive paragraphs and a meandering narrative that fails to give a payoff while dangling hope in front of the reader.

I didn't think it was that bad, but I agree it could use some tightening. The biggest problem I have with it is that it doesn't progress far enough in the first three or four chapters. I think the last couple of chapters could've been combined and chopped up to make the story a lot tighter.

Also, I don't think it's a "werewolf" story per se -- the impression I get is that it's more of a bizarre mystical cult with mind-control and supernatural aspects. I haven't seen anybody get hairy and run around during the full moon (except one specific character, not the lead, and it hasn't happened out in the open yet).

I liked it mainly because I could see that Comicality was trying something completely different than usual, going for a fairly downbeat story, all told in flashback. I think it took some courage to do this, particularly when you take a likeable character and then watch them make a series of ghastly mistakes that cause their lives to unspool in a matter of a few days.

I also disagree about the use of language. From my memory, it read pretty well, and it was a cut above what I normally see on the net. That's a judgement call (like the spelling of "judgement").

Keep in mind that when I recommend something for B.O.N., it doesn't mean I think I've discovered "the next Hemingway." It means I've seen something that I think is better than 97% of the usual amateur crap out there... something that stood out and made me think about it, and was a story that stuck in my head for a day or two afterward. I doubt that's happened even half-a-dozen times this year, and this was one of those cases. Feel free to disagree.