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When you try to speak

Your words squirm in my ear.

Even before your meaning hits me

I?m afraid that it?s clear:

Though you?re not bad enough

To make my mind itself shrink

When I wake tomorrow morning,

It?ll burn when I think.

But you?re still chatting me up,

This is a bad situation;

Who knows what I?ll catch from

Unprotected conversation.

This is risky behavior

But you think you?re profound;

I wish you?d hold your tongue

But still you wag it around.

I don?t know where you got it

But the outcome?s the same:

You just gave me a terrible

Rash on my brain.

Listening to you has left

Its mark on my mind

That?s not a compliment ?

Your words are like parasites.

I hope that there?s an injection

Or a topical cream

That can cure this infection

That you?ve given to me.

It makes me think things

That I know just aren?t true

It makes me do crazy things

Like keep talking to you

It makes me want to pry open

The top of my head

And claw at the grey matter

?Till the symptoms are dead

I don?t know how to cure it

But the outcome?s the same:

You just gave me a terrible

Rash on my brain.

Now, I dream of a day

When Earth is idiot-free

And in preventing the spread,

Education?s the key.

So the moral of the story

If you?ll allow for suggestions:

Don?t talk to strangers without

Some kind of protection.

The surest way to avoid

The pain of stupidity

Is to avoid it?s prime source:

You know, humanity.

But for those that must converse,

Please be safe. Like, for starters,

Get your IQs tested,

Both yourself and your partners.

I know we can prevent it

But for now it?s a shame:

You just gave me a terrible

Rash on my brain.

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