One More Chance

[Steven Keiths]

One More Chance

The radio blared some sappy country and western song as I sped down the two- laned road that snaked across the barren desert land, with the windows down, the hot air blasting in my face, my thoughts were of reaching Susie in time before she made the biggest mistake in her life by marrying that bozo, Jethro, who had amassed, maybe, two-months worth of work in his entire 34 years, an besides, I loved her and though I may have not treated her as good as I should have, I will change, I?ll get a job in Santa Fe and I?ll stay put as she has begged me to do and take care of her and not go gallivanting all over the place anymore as she really does mean the world to me, I have to convince her of that?click?I don?t want to hear this song, ?On the Road Again,? as that?s not how it?s going to be from now on.

[Trab]

What are you trying to do to an avid 'out loud' reader, Steven? Kill me? I had no breath left halfway through...

[Cole Parker]

I like it! But can't we all do the same thing if we just ignore the period key?

C

[colinian]

The earliest writing had no punctuation. None at all. No capitalization. Nor any spaces between words. Just think about a poor editor faced with such a document.

Colin

[Richard Norway]

Geees Trab, you're not alone.

Steven, you're killing all of us. THE F...ing emotion, angst, fear, dread, eventual hope was beyond belief. So short, but so much was told...perfect flash fiction.

[Steven Keiths]

Yes, Cole, I guess anyone could do it--especially with all the talent of those whom post here at AD. This was more or less a challenge to myself to see if I could. I wanted to see if I could with some cohesion/coherence pull it together to meet the criteria of a short story.

It was presented as an exercise in a book. The first part of the exercise was creating a one hundred word sentence. The second was to write a complete short story in one sentence. If I recall there was a word limitation of 125 or so words. I do not know how many words this particular piece has. As I stated previously--I wanted it to be a story. I forgot to count the words.

It was fun, with a tad of frustration to do.

Thanks for all your comments. I like this forum. I've read some very nice things here.

[DesDownunder]

MSWord reports 163 words, not including the title, for Steven's outstanding effort.

I think a little more is needed than simply leaving out the periods and using conjunctions to achieve a story in a single sentence.

I have amused my video store customers by stringing movie titles (of the month) together (with additional words) to make a completely nonsensical story that means absolutely nothing. Trying to avoid repetition is a bitch.

Here is an example from January 2008: (commas used after each title to make the titles clearer for the customers.)

Mr. brooks, had followed the recipe for Ratatouille, in the hope of Keeping Up With The Steins, because The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life Of Ethan Green, allowed for No Reservations, for the Orchestra seats, to see Stardust, on The Flying Scotsman, in case he was too Close to Leo, to get his CashBack, should The Bourne Ultimatum, Breach, the Next, Shoot ?Em Up, during The War On Democracy when Lady Chatterley, used Hairspray, realising it ?s a BoyGirl Thing, and told Evan Almighty, ?You can Find Me Guilty, but I am not Superbad, and you should Relax?It?s Just Sex.?

Might be fun if you feel so inclined, for you to try your hand at doing this with whatever movie titles take your fancy.

[Cole Parker]

Uh, Des? Don't give up your day job.

C

[Steven Keiths]

Just reread the rules, it was to be between 150 and 200 words.

Des, one the suggestions they gave was using song titles or movie titles. Another was making a list. Fascinating.

Not something I'd do for real serious literature, but great exercises to keep the brain lubricated.

Thanks all for your feedback.