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Darkness Falls

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I had a rough day at the shrink today. We talked about something that I've kept inside since Feb 1977.

I was having a really rough day. Things were going bad. I had to walk a long way with a lot on my mind.

There are three or four real shitty nightmares that I have that keep coming back. I'll think they're gone for a while and then something will happen to stir them up. Something will remind me- a feeling or a situation. Just enough to leave a crack the door to the basement of my mind and the demons come screaming out.

They make me mad. No- they enrage me. I get so pissed off I wake up fighting and in a cold sweat. They make me ask the same old questions over and over.

Why didn't I do something? Why couldn't I get away? Why was I so stupid that I didn't see it coming?

I'm not sure that i want you to read this. I'm not sure you want to either.

What lies beyond is my madness, the heart of my pain, the root of my sadness. The birth of my rage, the seat of its power, a rememberance of my darkest hour. Do not go there unprepared. If you do then be aware, that terror and maddness dwell in there.

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Darkness Falls

Walking alone on an empty highway

A friendly voice says, ?hey kid,

do ya need a ride??

Its a long way home, I?m tired and hungry,

I think it over,

It?s not hard to decide.

Hello new friend,

It?s good to know you,

How have you been?

Are you gonna stay or just passing through?

I?m sure glad you came along.

Things have been rough,

Lately every move I make is wrong,

And I ain?t feelin? so tough.

We talk about the news,

We share some laughs and some views

It seems like he knows me,

He seems like such a nice dude.

Can you help me with a chore?

He asks, it?s on the way,

And won?t take long.

Why not? I?ve got all day.

Like he said it doesn?t take long,

Suddenly things go terribly wrong.

There?s a stranger kissing my face,

Groping my crotch in an awkward embrace.

No man, I?m not down with it,

Well fuck you then, you little shit!

Rejection and reaction-

Vulnerability and retraction-

Within an instant it all goes wrong

Cornered and looking at the blade of a knife

Suddenly I am in fear of my life.

Degradation and dissonance,

Dangerous discord and dissent.

The blade at my neck,

My darkness falls,

At his touch my skin crawls.

I go away from that place,

Into my head in infinite space,

Out of body, out of mind,

Disconnected and powered down.

I can not see,

I can not feel

I do not want it to be real.

The darkness takes away my sight,

So that I may hide from my plight.

In the darkness velvet folds I hide,

Unseeing but eyes open wide.

In the darkness I am lost,

That is the price,

That is the cost.

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