Need help from a French Speaker

[JamesSavik]

Madam Malloy is the elderly matriarch of a family of Cajun (Acadian) fishing family. She can speak English perfectly well but in an effort to preserve their culture, she elects not to. She rules her little fiefdom with an iron will. One of the families fishing boats has come back with a zombie captured in its nets.

She has called the Sheriff but is studying the zombie when a deputy sheriff and National Guardsmen arrive.

The Deputy Sheriff is Mike Frasier.

I need help with the dialog. French dialog is italicized.

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Deputy Frasier says, "How are you Madam Malloy?"

Madam Malloy laughs and says, "Your Acadian is terrible Michael but I give you points for trying. I was just fine until the boys brought this thing home." She points at the zombie tightly bound in the metal mesh shrimp nets. "I've been studying him."

Frasier says, "Isn't that dangerous?"

Madam Malloy reveals a holstered .357 and says, "I'm far from helpless."

Frasier says, "I can see that. What have you learned?"

"This creature is not of the ocean or the swamp. He doesn't have any respect."

Frasier asks, "What do you mean he has no respect?"

"He doesn't respect holy symbols and you can point a gun right at him and it means nothing to him. It is animal and a particularly viscous one. There's one other thing."

Frasier says, "What is that?"

"He is trouble of the worst kind."

[Graeme]

I can't help you James, but for those who can, are you just looking at having the dialogue translated into Cajun French, or are you looking at how French could be dropped into those sentences to give a more Cajun flavor?

[JamesSavik]

Acadian is a dialect of French but using it would make the text too obscure.

Using French is close enough and gives it the flavor I'm looking for. French grammar and sentence structure is different than English and an online translator just couldn't do the job.

This is taking place near a town called Kreole.

[TracyMN]

I know somebody. I'll see if I can't send him over.

Tracy

[Merkin]

Graeme asks a good question, James. If you set the whole of this exchange in French, how will it play for readers who cannot cope?

Merkin

[JamesSavik]

I'm going to shorten the exchange in French and make it obvious what is being said.

Trust me on this. When you see it, you'll get it. I've fixed this and am moving forward.

[DesDownunder]

We wait with ze, an-tis-e-pay-she-on.

(Apologies to the French)

[JamesSavik]

This has been changed to:

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Deputy Frasier greeted the elderly matriarch, "Bonjour Madam Malloy."

She laughed and said, "Your Acadian is terrible Michael but I give you points for trying. I was just fine until the boys brought this thing home." She waves in the direction of the zombie tightly bound in the metal mesh shrimp nets. "I've been studying him."

Frasier says, "Isn't that dangerous?"

Madam Malloy revealed a holstered .357 and said, "I'm far from helpless."

Frasier said, "I can see that. What have you learned?"

"This creature is not of the ocean or the swamp. He doesn't have any respect."

Frasier asked, "What do you mean he has no respect?"

"He doesn't respect holy symbols and you can point a gun right at him and it means nothing to him. It is animal and a particularly viscous one at that. There's one other thing."

Frasier said, "What is that?"

"He is trouble of the worst kind."

[Graeme]

Nice, James. If you'll take a suggestion, add a French phrase or word at the start of the last sentence, or change the word 'danger' to the french equivalent. My gut feeling is that she'd use French, or at least partially, to make that sort of declaration. At least that's how I read her character.

[The Wanderer]

So I realize this post is over a year old, but I was just browsing through the site as I am new here. Having a French background and Cajun grandparents, the language they would be speaking wouldn't be French French, Cajun is more slang and has a Caribbean influence. Older generations of Cajun people are fiercely protective of their language and culture, but code switching (speaking and alternating back and forth between two languages) is very common. If you are wanting to make the character more authentically Cajun, I'd try to steer away from formal French. But that's just me.

[blue]

Had something almost all written out, until a certain small feline pressed the Escape key. I'll answer again when I can get to it. I can give a standard French translation, but I need to know a couple of things about the characters. I don't speak Cajun French, despite being in the next state over and liking Cajun/Creole folks. Wish I could give an authentic Cajun translation, but I don't know a Cajun right now who could do the trick. Standard French is almost close enough, though. It'd do in a pinch. Mme Malloy is likely to know Cajun and might know standard French. Deputy Frasier is most likely to know textbook standard French instead of the Cajun dialect, even if he knows Cajun a little. There are some important differences because of Cajun folks' unique history.

To give a good translation, I have a question: Just what is the relationship between Mme Malloy and Deputy Frasier? In other words, how likely is she to use familiar forms with him, despite that he is the deputy sheriff, which would otherwise require formal you, even if Mme Malloy dislikes him. How likely is he to use familiar forms or formal forms with her, despite her position as an old lady with certain "eccentricities" and some respect in the community? This is the old, old courtly formal ye (vous) versus the familiar thou (tu) difference, which is built into French, Cajun or otherwise. (English used to have that same distinction, but lost it in the 1700's and 1800's.)