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Will Portman - Coming Out Article


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It takes knowing people that are gay to question the standard line that religion is selling. I think all of us have seen this at some point.

I've heard a lot of people criticize Senator Portman- I'm guessing out of partisanship. There are those that would take shots at republicans if they were giving away hundred dollar bills and free gas. When we have an opportunity to make inroads with the republicans, we should do it.

This is how people learn: one at a time. The more friends that we have on both sides of the aisle, the better off we are.

Politics is a fickle thing. Democrats are in now but given a few mistakes and some bad luck they could be out tomorrow.

If there is a chance to make an ally do it. It is foolish to waste any good will.

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If I can add a note of negativity: I heard an interesting editorial the other day by -- of all people -- Howard Stern, who sharply criticized both Bill Clinton and his wife, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, for being part of the Defense of Marriage Act in the 1990s. Only in the last year or so have the Clintons really come out for gay rights, and to me, they're very late to the party.

I generally liked Clinton as a President, except for three things: the BJs in the Oval Office, issuing hundreds of pardons to government insiders in the last week Clinton was in office, and his lack of effort for gay rights. "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" was a start, but a very lame one, in my opinion.

I am glad that a Senator as conservative and moronic as Portman came to his senses only when he realized that just about everybody has a gay member of the family somewhere -- sometimes very close, like a son. Let's hope that this makes the Supremes think about this long and hard (uh, no pun intended).

In the meantime, consider this fake news story from The Onion:

Supreme Court On Gay Marriage: 'Sure, Who Cares'

WASHINGTON—Ten minutes into oral arguments over whether or not homosexuals should be allowed to marry one another, a visibly confounded Supreme Court stopped legal proceedings Tuesday and ruled that gay marriage was “perfectly fine” and that the court could “care less who marries whom.”

“Yeah, of course gay men and women can get married. Who gives a shit?” said Chief Justice John Roberts, who interrupted attorney Charles Cooper’s opening statement defending Proposition 8, which rescinded same-sex couples’ right to marry in California. “Why are we even seriously discussing this?”

“Does anyone else up here care about this?” Roberts added as his eight colleagues began shaking their heads and saying, “No,” “Nah,” and “I also don’t care about this.” “Great. Same-sex marriage is legal in the United States of America. Do we have anything of actual import on the docket, or are we done for the day?”

Before Roberts officially ended proceedings, sources confirmed that all nine justices were reportedly dumbfounded, asking why the case was even coming before them and wondering aloud if some sort of mistake had been made. Calling marriage equality a “no-brainer,” members of the High Court appeared not just confused but irritated when Proposition 8 defenders argued that gay marriage was not a national issue but a state matter.

Moreover, when Attorney Cooper said that gay marriage could harm the moral fabric of the country and hurt the institution of marriage, Associate Justice Sotomayor asked, “What are you even talking about?” while Justice Anthony Kennedy reportedly muttered, “You got to be fucking kidding me,” under his breath.

“I have to interject, Mr. Cooper,” Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said as the attorney argued that the government has legitimate reasons to discourage same-sex couples from getting married. “Do you honestly care this much about this issue? Because if you do, you’re a real goddamn idiot. Actually, you sound as dumb as dog shit, and you are wasting our time.”

“Should gay marriage be legal?” Ginsburg continued. “Yes. Done. Case closed. Goodbye. Christ, were we seriously scheduled to spend the next few months debating this?”

Even the typically conservative wing of the court maintained that, despite their personal views, it would be “downright silly” for them to rule that same-sex marriage was unconstitutional.

“I’m a strict Originalist, Mr. Cooper, and I’m looking at a 14th Amendment that forbids any state from denying any person equal protection of the law,” Associate Justice Antonin Scalia said. “So, unless we are the most uncivilized society on the face of God’s green earth, I think we can all agree that a gay person is in fact a person. So what I’m saying is, who the fuck are we to tell a person who he or she can get married to? This is dumb. Can we talk about a real case now, please?”

Before adjourning the court, Roberts said there would be no official opinion on the case because it’s just “common goddamn sense,” and then addressed gay men and women directly.

“Get married, don’t get married, do whatever you want,” Roberts said. “It’s the opinion of this court that we don’t give two shits what you do.”

“C’mon, let’s go get some food,” added Roberts, as the eight other justices followed him out the door.

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Nothing seems to cause a feeding frenzy in the media like a high profile case in front of the SCOTUS. No matter that this is like trying to report the winner of the Super Bowl on the first day of the football season...such insanity.

If all nine judges asked the lawyers on both sides if there was evidence that the sky is blue it would still not predict that their ultimate decision...June or July in this case...could possibly end up being that the sky is red. I get a big kick out of the judges that toe the line on a Constitution set in stone, while the others see a living, evolving document, which it is.

Scalia is the dinosaur in the room, although that may not square with his conservative views (the Bible believers say dinosaurs are not a sign of evolution). His questions seem irrelevant in light of his history of inflexibility and his outrageous public statements. In fact, I think Scalia might be perfectly happy if the Constitution had never been changed one iota. In that case his lunch would be served in chambers by the slaves from the kitchen where he could look out the window and see the bodies hanging in the trees on the lawn because those darkies had dared to try and marry a white woman.

The SCOTUS will not favor us with a quick answer on these two days of talk about gay marriage or equal treatment under the law. Instead we will have to wait until baseball season is well underway before we hear the results. Meantime the Christian Right will rant and rave, spend lots of money making noise and praying for God to come down and make the decision.

But I have to tell you, I spoke to God last week and he really doesn't give a s**t what is decided. He's on vacation and probably stuck on a cruise ship somewhere in warmer waters.

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Scalia isn't so bad. Sure, he went against his stated principles to back marijuana prohibition in the raich case, but he upheld flag burning as speech, which isn't a very republican thing to do.

I think the racist/slave comments are unfair to him.

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