West by Kai Taylor

[The Pecman]

Wow, this is hands-down the best start to a new novel I've seen online all year... and this has been a long year.

The author's premise is that a gay teenager is somewhat smitten with another kid in one of his classes, and manages to get the kid's email... and then concocts an entire fake online persona in order to get to know the other boy. He's not sure the other boy is gay, but the signs are there, yet he's too shy to push the situation too far. The premise is a little thin so far, but the quality of the writing is absolutely top-notch, really pro. Really good prose as well.

It's an exception for me to ever stumble over anything this good on Nifty. Not only is it the best thing I've seen on Nifty this year, I think it might be the best thing I've seen there in several years.

Check it out:

http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/highschool/west/

The author's website has quite a few more chapters posted:

http://wordsbykai.com/west

The author is only three chapters in thus far, but I like the way it's going. We'll see how it goes.

[colinian]

Volume 1 and Volume 2 are available as ebooks on Kai Taylor's website www.wordsbykai.com/west. He asks $1.00 or whatever above that you'd like to pay for Volume 1. The price for Volume 2 is $2.99 or whatever above that you'd like to pay. The downloads have mobi, epub, and pdf formats.

Colin

[TalonRider]

Volume One can also be found at http://www.gayauthors.org/story/kai-taylor/west.

[Guest Dabeagle]

This is a fun story, it's given me ideas.

[Cole Parker]

Doesn't anyone else feel it moves slower than snails napping?

C

[Guest Dabeagle]

The pace could be faster, there is a lot of detail. But a fair point that not a great deal has happened in ten chapters - but they did feel realistic.

[Cole Parker]

You're absolutely right: a lot of detail. A huge amount that didn't drive the plot or the character development forward.

I'll admit I want to know what happens next. But I really think this should have been a short story instead of a novel.

C

[The Pecman]

Doesn't anyone else feel it moves slower than snails napping?

It's funny you would say that, Cole. I just sent the author an email about a day ago saying, "ya know, if there's one thing I would change about the story, it's that I would up the pace a bit and get to the point much faster." So great minds think alike.

I think what's there is very good -- I just think it needs some careful editing and compression to move the story along much faster. But the core idea is good, and the characters are well-drawn and interesting.

[TalonRider]

It might be because he's doing the story in three parts. He did much the same thing with another story, Kieran.

[Guest Dabeagle]

The more I think about it, the more I agree with Cole and Pec. I do feel like you get to the end of a chapter and not a lot got done, and there were some superflous things that really didn't do much. It feels a little like a soap opera, with wheels within wheels going on.

[The Pecman]

Wheels within wheels is a good way of putting it. I've encouraged the author to drop by here and share his strategy with us.

Me, I think the story has to move along at a much faster pace. I would point to many, many other published authors as being better examples of maintaining a tight pace while still devoting enough time to mood and description.

But for all my nitpicks, the story is compelling and interesting, and I look forward to future installments.

[Merkin]

A new chapter is up, along with a schedule for future chapter releases: http://wordsbykai.com/west

[Guest Dabeagle]

I read up to what was posted (thanks for the tip, Merkin) and I have just one large complaint, that is the summation of this thread for the most part. We have one major bit of drama and in five chapters there has been almost no movement. I still want to know, but I wish there was more TELLING happening here.