TalonRider Posted December 5, 2014 Report Share Posted December 5, 2014 Dear Santa,I wud like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas.Iv ben a good Boy all yeer.YeR FReND, BiLLyDear Billy,Nice spelling. You're on your way to being a career lawn care specialist. How 'bout I send you a freakin' book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger, at least HE can spell!Santa_____________Dear Santa,I've written you for three years now asking for a firetruck. Please, I really really want a fire truck this year!Love, JoeyDear Joey,Let me make it up to you. While you sleep, I'm gonna torch your freakin house. Then you'll have more fire trucks than you'll know what to do with!Santa_____________Dear Santa,I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'dlike for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Pleasesee what you can do.Love, TeddyDear Teddy,What, and ruin that hot affair your dad's still having with the babysitter? He's banging her like a screen door in a hurricane, son! Let me get you some nice Legos instead.Santa_____________Dear Santa,I want a new bike, playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes,a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.Love, FrancisDear Francis,Francis...FRANCIS! Who the hell names their kid "Francis" nowadays? How 'bout I get you a Barbie and Ken doll FRANCIS! ...hahahahahahahahaha. Tell me Francis, do you get punched in the face alot in school? hehehehehohohoSanta_____________Dear Santa,What do you do the other 364 days of the year?Are you making toys?Your friend, ThomasDear Thomas,You must be a major DORK. Don't you read the freakin' tagsyou little loser? All toys get made in China! I have acondo in Vegas, where I spend most my time squeezingcocktail waitresses asses, and losing all my cash atthe craps table. And NO you little dweeb - reindeers can'tfly. But they sure taste good with A-1 sauce!Santa_____________Dear Santa,I really, really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please PLEASE!TimmyTimmy,That whiney begging crap may work with your folks, butthat stuff don't work up here. You're getting a sweateragain. Are you by any chance related to Francis?Santa_____________Dearest Santa,We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?Love, MarkyMark,Firstly, stop calling yourself "Marky," that's why you'regetting your a** beat at school. Secondly, you don't livein a house, that's a low-rent apartment complex you're living in.Thirdly, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do,through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams!SantaGrinch Link to comment
Lugnutz Posted December 5, 2014 Report Share Posted December 5, 2014 Santa is a dick. Link to comment
TalonRider Posted December 5, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 5, 2014 Santa is a dick. I have to disagree with you. Did you notice the last name listed? Link to comment
Lugnutz Posted December 5, 2014 Report Share Posted December 5, 2014 Seen it already. Still a dick. Link to comment
JamesSavik Posted December 5, 2014 Report Share Posted December 5, 2014 Oh great. Santa has been drinking again. It makes him sarcastic and mean. Not good. Link to comment
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