When did parents lose control????

[Chris James]

I reference this article with the comment that this is the neighborhood where I grew up in Maryland. Boy, have things changed.

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/the-murky-law-on-free-range-kids/ar-AAb9m6M?ocid=LENDHP

I suppose there is always a risk for children unattended by an adult but this situation could have involved me as I was growing up. I confess...I was a free range child.

I must preface that comment by saying that from the age of five to twelve I grew up in Tokyo, Japan, thanks to my father's job. From second grade onwards I took the streetcar by myself across a city of fifteen million people to my school and never felt the least bit concerned. But this was in the 1950's, perhaps a different and more trusting mindset existed back then. Weekends I biked all over town as I explored the city and the people.

I came home to the states and lived in Maryland exactly where the kids in this article are today. Needless to say I was a total free range kid by this point and spent my teen years going places under my own control. Were there issues? Yes, because I had several men ask me if I wanted a ride but I always said no.

Children who are in control of their lives need the freedom to explore this world and only the fear of adults, stoked by the media, prevent that developmental stage. Is it less safe now? I don't think so, but I would have rebelled if my parents tried to put a leash around my neck.

As a society we have become so focused on preventing something that might not occur, and in doing so we have lost trust. The trust that our children will do just fine out there by themselves rather than being stuffed in the house because of the alleged boogey man in the bushes. Needless to say I am on the side of the parents in this argument.

[Rutabaga]

Until third grade I lived in the late 50s in the area now referred to as South Central Los Angeles, near the intersection of Slauson and Crenshaw. Starting some time in first grade, I walked to school -- a distance of about 1 mile -- and back home again, mostly along 54th Street. 54th Street was a busy urban street with lots of businesses and lots of traffic. But it also had lots of interesting stuff for kids, including a decent public library and a dry cleaning establishment that had a huge area devoted to candy and frozen treats. (They certainly noticed the presence of an elementary school nearby.) There was also the real estate office of Mr. Skinner, the man who lived across the street from us, where we could go in and get imprinted pens and pencils and note pads. Sometimes after scohol I would walk back to my home, and sometimes I would walk with a friend to their house. There was never any issue.

I feel sorry for the kids of today, raised in such a hysterical, paranoid environment.

R

[JamesSavik]

I feel sorry for the kids of today, raised in such a hysterical, paranoid environment.

The Paranoid State has been under construction for decades and we have created a monster.

They told us to fear crime. So we did. New laws were written to make prosecution easier.

They told us to fear drugs. So we did. New laws were written to make prosecution easier.

They told us to fear perverts molesting children. So we did. New laws were written to make prosecution easier.

They told us to fear terrorist. So we did. New laws were written to make prosecution easier.

Now- we are not any safer, have surrendered many of our traditional Constitutional protections and live in a high-tech police state.

This is so much better?

[Addym Kehris]

I never realized there was a classification for the way we grew up. 'Free Range', eh? I like that. And I was definitely another of those. You see, I grew up in Alaska in the 60's. My friends all lived nearby (within three blocks or so). I can still hear the echos of my mother's voice when she'd step out the back door and yell for me and my brothers. Man oh man, that was a voice to recon with.

My family relocated to Alaska when I was five. I don't remember a time when I wasn't able to go where I wished. Before I got my first bicycle, I would walk. Usually it was to friends' homes, but sometimes I'd march the five or six blocks to the commercial center of town. Going through the Woolworth store was always a favorite. When I got my first bike at age 10, I think, I was all over town, north, south, east, and west. There wasn't a corner I didn't make my way to at one time or another. There was never hysterical parents warning me of the dangers. I was expected to inform them where I was going and when I'd return. So long as I arrived by the appointed hour there was never a word said, except to be asked, "did you have a good time, dear?"

During Elementary and Junior High school, I walked to school. You see, in this town, if you lived within three miles of the school you attended, you were expected to make your own way. There weren't many school buses and they were reserved for the kids the lived on the outskirts. We lived just inside the perimeter. And when I say I walked to school, I mean I walked in all weather. My path took me through residential areas and then through the majority of the commercial areas. I never once felt the least bit threaten or scared.

I've thought recently about that time, and I feel so sorry for the youth of today that the freedom I experienced growing up is being denied to most of them. Having only recently reached that ripe ole 6-0, I've found myself reminicing about 'the good ole days'. Especially those early years in Alaska.

And just for the record, the winters were no different than the summers, as far as the freedom was concerned. We learned to take reasonable precautions. I loved the winters. Playing in that winter wonderland, even at 40 below, was no hardship. We'd play vigorously for an hour, until nearly frozen, then go in and warm up for an hour, then bundle back up and go out again.

I particularly remember my money making adventures during the coldest months. Most adults hated getting out and shoveling the drives and walks and 60 and 70 below. So, I'd bundle up until I looked nearly like the Staypuff Marshmellow Man and hike about the neighborhood doing the chore. Once I'd done the job I'd be sure to breath heavily into the scarf around my face, so that by the time I reached the door to receive payment, I'd have ice caking my scarf. A neat ploy, because it always resulted in considerable sympathy, gratitude, and a healthy tip (which was, of course, the ultimate objective).

But I digress. LOL. I've heard that happens as we get older.

Then again, I suppose I don't have more to contribute. It's sad that kids these days don't really have the freedom that I did at that age. It's a sad world we're living in.

[Cole Parker]

I myself don't think the world is any more dangerous now than it was then. I think we simply get the dangers out there reported to us graphically when and wherever they occur. I doubt there are more child abductions now, molestations now, abuse now, than there ever was. But our society has become so careful, it harms our children. They don't learn personal responsibility and safety this way, and think the world is out to get them.

I too remember the delicious days after getting a bicycle. It was over 60 years ago, but I can still the remember thrill of independence that bike represented. I could go where I wanted, by myself, and the world seemed to have expanded tenfold.

C

[colinian]

When I was a kid I loved it when my granddad visited us. He had these "wild tales" about what he did when he was a kid. So I just sent the link to this article to him. It will be interesting to get his feedback.

He was was born in Los Angeles in 1938 and was definitely a "Free-Range Kid" and loved it. I remember one tale he told us several times. He and his two best friends Jay and Norman would ride the streetcar from Highland Park (part of Los Angeles and north of downtown) to San Pedro (part of Los Angeles and south of downtown and west of Long Beach) on Los Angeles Harbor. I just did a check on Google Maps — that's 32 miles from his house in Highland Park to Cabrillo Beach in San Pedro. He and his friends did this when they were in the fifth grade — my granddad would have been 10 years old. He said the streetcar cost ten cents each way.

I can see what would happen if some kids his age tried it today and ended up at Cabrillo Beach.

Cop: "Hey, kid, what are you doing?"

Kid: "Looking at the ships and the water."

Cop: Where are your folks?"

Kid: "Mom's at home. Dad's at work."

Cop: "Where do you live, kid?"

Kid: "Highland Park."

Cop: "You're kidding."

Kid: "Uh uh."

Cop: "Okay, what's your address?"

Kid: "6431 York Boulevard."

Cop: (after checking the address on Google) "Kid, that's 32 miles from here if you take the 110 Freeway."

Kid: "Uh huh."

Cop: "How'd you get here?"

Kid: "The streetcar."

Cop: "Stay right here, kid. I gotta call CPS!!!"

Of course, there are no streetcar lines in Los Angeles any longer. That's probably too bad. The right of way would have been perfect for an high-speed commuter train line.

My story "Childhood Memories" is based on another (true) story he loved to tell us about one of the things he and some friends did when they were in high school in Los Angeles. He still tells the younger kids in our family that story because they ask him.

I was pretty much free-range when I was a kid in Walnut Creek. Our mode of transportation was bicycle or the bus line (our student cards let us ride on the weekends) and BART. Some friends and I decided we wanted to ride every BART line to each end of the line, and we did it all in one day. It wasn't ten cents. I don't remember what we had to pay but it was around four dollars. Once we got on we never had to go through another fare gate until we finally got off back in Walnut Creek. Whatever we paid was the cost they charged at the time for a ride from and back to the same station. I was probably 9 years old when we did that. The most fun we had was riding BART to San Francisco Airport the day that line opened in June, 2003. I was 13 years old. It was also the first time Doug and I had been to San Francisco Airport. We spent several hours wandering through the airport and riding the free AirTrain between the terminals and looking at the planes and watching them take off and land and talking to kids who were traveling and (of course) eating.

Colin

[JamesSavik]

I myself don't think the world is any more dangerous now than it was then.

The answer to that question is yes and no.

When you roll the clock back to when most of us were kids, it was the 50s and 60s.

Consider the population growth rate. All over the US, every state has grown- some a lot more than others. My own state is 4 times its 1950 population and Mississippi is always slower than most other states.

Consider this: If we have a seriously dangerous lunatic at a rate of 1 in 1,000,000, that means in 1950 there were just a few more than 100 of them. Now, in 2015, there are 300+ of them.

It's a function of population growth, a mental health-care system that simply doesn't exist and a judicially punitive approach to people with mental problems.

[Cole Parker]

The answer to that question is yes and no.

Consider the population growth rate. All over the US, every state has grown- some a lot more than others.

Consider this: If we have a seriously dangerous lunatic at a rate of 1 in 1,000,000, that means in 1950 there were just a few more than 100 of them. Now, in 2015, there are 300+ of them.

It's a function of population growth, a mental health-care system that simply doesn't exist and a judicially punitive approach to people with mental problems.

I think you're right and wrong. I don't think the fact the population has grown has any bearing. As the population has grown, the ratio of predators to victims has almost certainly remained about the same. So yes, there are more predators, but also more potential victims, so any one PV has no more chances of being attacked by any one P now than then.

But you make a very good point about the mental heath system. It was much stronger then. Now, when we have a better understanding of what is causing the problems these people have and better ways to help them, starting with the Reagan administration, the government began backing away from helping them, funding for mental institutions dried up, and now we have mentally challenged people on the streets in much greater numbers than back when I was a boy. We as a society are failing these people, and some of them are responsible for our streets being less safe .

C

[Hoskins]

Parents lost control when the FCC deregulated broadcast news, and local news stations were able to take a cost center - broadcast news - and turn it into a profit center. When TV stations can make money by getting your eyeballs to stick to their commercials, they can make a lot of money. What gets your eyeballs to stick through the commercial breaks? Fear. Fear that your house is full of radon gas. Fear that your child will be taken. Fear that there's a child molester in your neighborhood. Fear that your schools aren't all that great. A strange vehicle has been spotted in neighborhoods around town! Tune in after the break to find out where (pro tip: not usually your neighborhood).

I'm not saying that's the only reason, but I think it's a big root cause for why we live in such a paranoid condition about kids.

Once that ball got rolling, well, now people in positions of "authority" (like Nancy Grace, right?) can leverage those fears remarkably well. If you immunize your children, they'll get autism! If you don't immunize your children, thousands of schoolchildren will die at your hands! There should be laws about this! Which is where politicians come in, because pandering to the Fear means votes and cash for supporting laws that criminalize parental decisions that, in generations past, would have been laughed off the platform.

The Fear State has resulted in laws that are there to "protect" the child at the cost of the family and the parents, because of course, every parent is perfect in the raising of their kids, but obviously every other parent is doing it wrong. Parents are now judged by their ability to control their children (but no slap on the butt in the grocery store, that's abuse! And no leaving your kid in a locked, cool car in a parking lot for five minutes, because that's abandonment).

Along with the Fear State came, paradoxically, the mindset that (a) when a kid is in school, it's the school that's responsible for the kid, including all aspects of their behavior, and (b) parental monitoring of anything where the kid might come into contact with others, to ensure that the child gets what they're entitled to, which is, of course, entirely subjective to the parent and usually at odds with point (a), because it couldn't be MY perfect child that's been bullying others, or is just plain bad at math. That's a failing on the part of the school.

So what do we get? School administrators that run their schools according to the whims of the insurance lawyers. Schools that teach to the test, so that everything is "fair" and no child is just "bad at math". Police departments that are keenly watching for parenting "outside the box", because to fail to enforce petty laws against free range parenting is to expose the department to bad PR and of course, lawsuits.

It's all based in fear. 100% manufactured fear.

[JamesSavik]

I think you're right and wrong. I don't think the fact the population has grown has any bearing.

It's a math thing Cole.

Consider

1950 was x

2015 is 3.5x

If the ratio of predators stays exactly the same, then we have 3.5 times more predators and victims now than we did in 1950.

The problem I have with our non-existent mental health system is that if you've got money (or insurance), you go to treatment. Otherwise, you go to jail. That's the sort of thing that can't go on in a free society for too long.

[vwl]

I think you're right and wrong. I don't think the fact the population has grown has any bearing. As the population has grown, the ratio of predators to victims has almost certainly remained about the same. So yes, there are more predators, but also more potential victims, so any one PV has no more chances of being attacked by any one P now than then.

But you make a very good point about the mental heath system. It was much stronger then. Now, when we have a better understanding of what is causing the problems these people have and better ways to help them, starting with the Reagan administration, the government began backing away from helping them, funding for mental institutions dried up, and now we have mentally challenged people on the streets in much greater numbers than back when I was a boy. We as a society are failing these people, and some of them are responsible for our streets being less safe .

C

I think you've got the history backwards. The movement against incarceration in mental-health institutions started years before the Reagan Administration with the Frances Farmer brouhaha, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975) and a general movement to de-institutionalize the mentally ill. With fewer mental institutions, it was only prudent to reduce funding for them.

If society decided that the mentally ill were better off on the streets (with the attendant difficulty in getting timely medication to them), then 'failing these people' is a community decision.

[Chris James]

A quote from Dr. Fred Berlin, one of the foremost experts on sexual disorders in the US.

Q. The problem of sexual abuse of minors has gotten a lot of publicity since the mid-'80s. Is this a new problem?
A. No, it's absolutely not a new problem. Some of the cases that are coming to light now were from before the '80s. What is new is our paying attention to the problem, recognizing the degree of distress that it can cause, the sense that the criminal Justice system is going to deal with matters more sternly, and a recognition that we cannot cure, although we can sometimes successfully treat, these sexual disorders. So there are new aspects and new ways of understanding, but the problem itself, very sadly, has been with us throughout history.

You can read the whole interview which is mainly about abuse by the clergy here:

http://www.diocesetucson.org/restore5.html