JamesSavik

According to this I'm batting 1000. My index finger is shorter than my ring finger and I'm hung like a water buffalo. :-D

In which your prose showed both flair and polish... and I expect and look forward to seeing more of your work. Young brat? Heavens no! Young perhaps but we all get over that too soon if you ask me. Never a sweeter bunch was assembled than the mail crew and friends can agree to disagree. You've just not seen very much of the dark side, [if you'll let me rip off George Lucas.] My greatest wish is that fewer and fewer people will and that seems to be coming true. That darkness is out there and it eats people up but acknowleging it is not the same thing as surrendering to it or cheering for it. It should be, if it's written right, shocking and create an outrage in the reader. And, if I did my job right, some kid reading it will say- Holy crap! I'm not going to fall for that bulls*it.

Someone asked that question. It's a good one that deserves an answer. I can only answer that question for myself. Writing is a form therepy for me. Most of my writing is EXACTLY that. Jeff and Broken are about me, my friends and the experiences that we had growing up gay in 70s era Mississippi. Sorry it's not a happy story but it is what it is. Most of those friends that I grew up with are dead, in jail or very f-ed up. We didn't need to be all that self destructive. Other people were doing the job for us. I've got the scars to prove it. We didn't have PFLAG, GLAD or GSAs. What we did have was the Baptist Church that told our parents to throw us out. I write about my friends because most people have forgotten them. I write about them because I want their lives to have some meaning. I want what we went through to make sense, matter somehow and possbly do some good. I love them, I miss them and now I'm one of the last survivors. I write to give the finger to the people who messed with a bunch of little kids until one of them put a .45 in his mouth and blew his brains out. I write to say I know what you MFers did and I'm not going to let you get away with it by hiding behind Jesus. I write to air out my head. I write because when I do, I don't wake up screaming with nightmares where I'm fighting for my life. I release my rage, vent my anger and shed my greif. What you don't know about me because I simply haven't gotten to it yet is that I was throw-away for a few years. When I write about the living on the street I know exactly what's going on there. I know what it's like to trade your dignity for some food and a safe place to sleep where you don't have to worry about someone stabbing you to steal your shoes. I know what it's like to have a trick turn sadist on you and torture you. I know what it's like. I've tried to forget. God knows I've tried. I've smoked enough grass, popped enough pills and drank enough booze to drop an army corp. I've fought with addiction for most of my life. My Shrink tells me that with my background that it's amazing that I haven't become a sniper. To have a life anywhere near normal, I've got to deal with it. That's what I'm trying to do. Tonight I got my chip for being clean & sober for 9 months. So for those of you so upset with me I'll thank you NOT to judge me. You are fortunate to have enlightened parents and/or come from a place where being gay is not a big deal. I do not begrudge you this good fortune but you need to remember that your good fortune is an accident of birth. You could have just as easily rolled snake-eyes.

Yes, there are a few and one of them is NOT to become a mere propagandist. Another one is not to become a sell out and forget where you come from. Last, but not least, is to tell the truth about the world as you see it.

Aussie- That's a very difficult question to answer and a tricky one to ask. If a writer writes a murder mystery, could he be accused of promoting murder? If a writer writes a war story, could he be accused of promoting war? If a character in a story is an asshole, is the author promoting asshole-ery? Maybe a character is an alcoholic bastard that hits kids like Aiden's dad in New Brother. Now I know for a fact that you weren't promoting child abuse. I believe that some people are confusing plot elements with personal endorsements.

Just a quick question: after the ummm, bizarre behavior of Tom Cruise recently, is he one of the Martians? :smt017

Writers write about what they know. When I read stories online about happy, healthy gay teens with accepting parents, who don't get harrassed, humiliated and beaten on at school, I have to suspend my disbelief. When I hear about guys coming out to their dads and not getting hit, I find it a little shocking. When I hear about gay kids going to church and being accepted, I don't know what to think. When I hear about cops that actually give a damn and don't give you crap, I can hardly believe it. I'm glad when I hear and see this stuff. I wouldn't wish some of the shit I've lived through on a dog. However, it is so far outside of my own experience that I have no frame of reference. It's not my world, it's not my experience and frankly I don't see it. [Granted, I live in Mississippi which is only slighly gay friendlier than Iran.] As for changing that world, you must first survive it. A whole lot of good people don't. I believe that shining the light of truth on things that happen in the shadows and are concealed by shame is the best way of raising awareness- the first step of changing the status quo. Yes, it's disturbing. It's sometimes difficult to read about. It's MUCH more disturbing and difficult to live it. You don't do gay teens any favors painting the gay world as rosy and being inhabitated with care bears. That is NOT the case. It has just as many tricks, traps and predators as the straight world if not more so. It is inhabitated by just as many angry, damaged and evil people. In my experience, ignorance is not bliss. The things that hit me the hardest were the things that blind-sided me. If I can't change the world through my work, maybe I can explain a few things and perhaps warn a few people about those tricks and traps. My way of attacking the darkness is by exposing it to light. It is not the only way but I believe that it is valid and useful. Please don't take this as a flame. It is merely a difference in artistic vision and experience. The same sort of debate that Keats [a Romantic] and Kipling [a realist] might have had.

I am slain again by another work from Joey.

Don't quit now Elecivil. You've already shown a better grasp of the political system than George W Bush in that you KNOW that you are not politically affiliated with any party. George on the other hand spends like a Democrat, talks like a Republican, wants a police state like Ceausescu and runs a foreign policy that Mussolini would be proud of. In a political climate that is this confusing and vague, at least you are sure.

Ouch, tough room Aussie! Ummm... about that story I've got, never mind AJ. <Runs and cowers under plumb tree. Ummm plumbs>

Just awakened in a cold sweat. What it's 2:20am... I was in a sauna with Seth Green and a bottle of thousand island salad dressing-- so far so good. :smt050 Who should bust in naked with condoms and cucumbers? Jocelyn Elders. ACK!!!!!! :smt019

The French have been everywhere, gotten drunk, puked, gotten in a fight and been thrown out. That explains a hellva lot about their foreign policy and now we're sober so we can preach to you about not fucking up attitude.

Put your pants on and give yourself a break. Your work on New Brother and Kaden speaks for itself. ;-)

standing :clap: Way to go Gabe!

As long as they clone buttloads of hunky, lanky red-heads, I'm all for it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Now, it comes to mind that one cannot be both hunky and lanky. Don't you think so? Hunky refers to muscley-types and lanky refers to tall, slim/slender types. As a red-head (though not lanky) myself, I agree, more of *me* in the world does make cloning seem like more worthwhile venture to pursue. I mean, hey, why not? I don't think that more of me in the immeadiate viscinity would be a good idea, but one every 500 miles or so would be nice. -------------------- Here's why you have to watch your langauge. I should have said hunky or lanky-- but I've seen hunky and lanky and though rare, that works too. ;-)

Angst is bad. Very bad. Angst leads to wierd things, like writing too much poetry in the middle of class, or falling into a vat of HotTopic, never to return to our plane again. Yeah, angst is bad. It keeps me up nights pounding away on my computer for new and innovative ways to express it. Magically, it either goes away or I exhaust myself and pass out. Besides, angst is unbecoming on a guy of my age. It comes off as all pissed off and threatening and that's not the look I'm going for. Cute is another bad thing, but for different reasons. Have you ever heard a gaggle of gaymen and women start using the word 'cute'? It's torturous. It sounds a lot like a bunch of chicken, but instead of *cluck* they spout the word *cute* instead. The word cute should be banned I say, banned. I agree in principal but the image in question is a kid. Kids are cute. Man things are hunky. Cloning? Not so bad as long as I get to be in on the experiments. I don't want to be cloned, but I do want to run tests and such. I've always been a bit of a genetics nerd, so excuse the geekiness. As long as they clone buttloads of hunky, lanky red-heads, I'm all for it.

I was haoping that we were being invaded by a bunch of really cute, angsty clones. ;-)

The ball joint shouldn't be that expensive unless it's for the rareity of the one for a '66 T-bird. Now- possible bad news: more damage might have been caused by the failure of the part. That could be expensive in terms of time (labor). If one ball joint failed, it might be a good idea to look at the other one. What usually wears them out is that lining gets worn away. If the other one isn't in good shape, it would be smart to replace it. Another key part that usually gets overlooked: the U-joint. It transfurs force between the transmission and the drive shaft. It is really exciting when a u-joint pops and you'll want to take a look at it unless you want your T-bird to suddenly pole vault down the road. I'm glad you are OK oh mighty Editor of Icaria. TSOI is one of my healthiest and enjoyable addictions. :smt059

DJ and Freethinker have the same avatar. Brain melting... thermal shutdown 601

TR Condolences on your love. Sounds like our luck is about the same. However, congrats on a wonderful, witty poem. As long as we can laugh about it, we're unlikely to become snipers. -James

Thanks Gabe. Naiilo - you're right. We're the fireflies on a bigger scale. Don't waste your passion filled summer nights!

Fireflies Fireflies in the magnolia trees, Burning brightly in the night, In the coolness of the evening, Firefly passion burning bright. They only last a season, Barely three phases of the moon, They have no earthly reason, To waste a precious night in June. Learn well the lesson of the firefly, Waste not the gentle season, Far too soon our winter comes, Why waste time for no good reason? Grab on to life with all its strife, With it?s joy and pain and rage. Too soon the warmth of June is gone, Just a memory, turn the page.

Ya'll jist don know. If'n ya ever heard real Kay-jon, yoh earz wood lock up.

I just finished reading Der Cowboy and for once I am at a loss for words. :smt010 It is historically very accurate. The units on both sides were present right at the time of the Battle of the Bulge. The winter of 1944 was one of the bitterest in decades. Both sides suffered greatly from the cold. What made matters worse is that units working in the front were scattered, disorganized and had spotty supplies. Congradulations for yet another great story Joey! :smt023

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