Trab

So true. I'm with you. Well, I'm by myself, but I'd like to be with you. -Oh shut up Bart.

I'll add more on this later, but I would like to know what is meant by the term, partly cut, in reference to the penis. The term is often used in online 'dating' service listings.

Sadly, Bart was hung, but is no more. :twisted: As if THAT clarified things. :roll:

It's all too deep for me, so I'll just point out that "Virginity like bubble; one prick, all gone. -ancient Chinese proverb" is unlikely to be a really ancient Chinese proverb, since it plays around the double meaning of the English "prick" and ancient Chinese would never have used that. BTW, I hate the use of yellow center lines on highways in movies from before the changeover, which was in the early 70's.

Well said. I loved the whole story, indulging myself with chapter upon chapter, each and every night. The only 'down side' for me was the bits about music, singers, and songs. I am completely non-musically inclined, finding Enya the epitome of excellence musically. The references to popular music and the use of the different instruments fell on 'deaf ears' with me. I'm sure the colorful detail will be like the frosting on a cake for others who ARE musically aware.

Blue, I think you blew it. Your humo(u)rous comment is now in the wrong section. :roll:

"And yet he makes each world seem vividly real, with all kinds of true-to-life detail. As long as you can fake that, it doesn't matter if it's from your personal experience or not." One time I had need of a lawyer, and I consulted with him in his office. I was impressed and said to him, "You really seem to know what you are doing." His response was eye opening, possibly because I was quite naive. "'Seem' is the important word in what you said. It doesn't really matter if I know what I'm doing in court, as long as it seems that I do to the jury."

"no big deal" I'm sure you must be right! :oops:

That would be great. Thank-you :)

Good points all. And I particularly agree that terse is not the same as brief. I don't even like brief when it comes to a story, although wandering on forever with descriptive phrases doesn't make the story better either. There needs to be a fine line drawn, but I freely admit I'm not the best one to decide where that line should be drawn.

Plink. A droplet hits my camera. Strange. Where did that come from? Can we be getting rain? The winter sky is clear; the winds are calm. Another. What is going on? I look up and see?sun. I feel a coolness on my cheek. Oh my God. I?m crying! The breakwater, warm beneath me, holds me firm; I cannot sink into the earth. The rough concrete eats into my butt, as I cave inwards, imploding, a black hole, dying. Shudders wrack my body, heaving sobs tear from me, and I am alone. There is no-one to hold me, comfort me, console me. I am alone. Alone. So alone. And yet? Far down the breakwater, the sound of laughter, joy, togetherness. Friends, on bikes, approach. They stop, to jump their bikes from breakwater to dead fallen trees, giants awash in sand and flotsam, balancing?just so. Failing to fall, and failing miserably. Youthful beauty, vigorous enthusiasm, life celebrated second by second. Strong limbs, glorious smiles, happiness and contentment. I revel in their joy, drink in their beauty, silence my pain. They see me, and joy, they do not turn away. They perform their acrobatics right before me, turning me into an audience of one. Sleek, and powerful, they cavort, proud in their masculinity. Then?they are done. ?I hope you got some good pictures!? was thrown my way as they sped off, towards the distance sun. Plink. A droplet hits my unused camera. Strange. Where did that come from? I am feeling great; it cannot be me. Shudders wrack my body; heaving sobs tear from me, as I am? alone.

Terse can be good, sometimes not. Clear?

Just to clarify, I would really like to hear from Blue or Dude as to whether or not I may put my 'blurb' in here.

Firstly, I am not in school, and have written countless minutes of meetings, news reports for newsletters, and summaries of events for friends. My style is basically to get the content into the least number of words, which is a severely limiting skill in the writing of a novel. I would probably be excellent at writing those little tidbits that get printed on the back covers of pocketbooks. That said, I have no great desire to spend hours, days, weeks, months, and God help me, years composing a storyline. The reason for being down on my ability is not due to lack of some writing skill as a technical feat, but rather my inability to imagine anything at all. In the previous forum there was a thread about 'master storyteller' and I stated that I think a master storyteller is someone who can make anything seem interesting. I seem to be the reciprocal of the master storyteller, having honed my skills at making anything interesting seem boring and dull, albeit brief and factual. :( The question for me is whether or not I can utilize some of my abilities in order to express internal issues, without any need to have any imagination, since I'm reporting directly on my feelings and thoughts.

If I'm looking at a dictionary for possible purchase, I always check for the word 'tesseract'. If it is missing, I don't buy it. If it is there, I'll at least consider a purchase.

I'm not at all intimidated nor do I feel excluded by your comments Blue. I can read how you all kibitz with each other all the time, and it is nice to be included, even if only peripherally. :p

I have no idea if I'm any good at writing. My guess has always been no, but very recently I wrote a report for someone, and was told it was brilliant. That surprised me, since I'm very critical of my own work, and of course I had thought it was pure drivel. It made me rethink my position on my own capabilities. I have no illusions about how badly I may write. Nevertheless, I started to think, just maybe I can get an opinion from some people who are more in tune with the writing arena, namely, you folks. I would like to know if it is permissible to post a few words in this forum, for an honest assessment of my short work. It is very personal, but I don't think I could ever write something that isn't. But as long as my right to hold my feelings is respected, I am willing to hear what is thought. Is this request appropriate? :?:

Are these editors you have professional editors, or simply people who are good with written English and willing to take some time to go over your works? I know an editor in a huge publishing house, and she is very knowledgeable but I cannot see that you would be able to avail yourselves of that calibre unless you were publishing for money, and doing well with the sales of your books. Since gay teen romance is not a particularly huge financial windfall, as yet, I would imagine most of the editors are friends with competence.

About a week ago, I found a reference on the Tarheel site to WBMS's Alone By Myself, and started to read it. Something in the content captured me instantly, and the writing was wonderfully well done. Before getting too far into it, I just HAD to find out more about WBMS and contact him. He must have appreciated my comments, since I received a prompt response and was also refered to this site and more specifically, the forum. I want to thank Stout Scarab for guiding me here. You have an Awesome site Dudes, and the more I explore, the more content I become. The discussions on grammar, wording, motivation, and all the other things that go into writing are fascinating, educational, and entertaining, all at the same time, as are all you authors. Thank you all. :D

Stout Scarab could have been mis-transcribing, but I doubt it. I have seen that usage in actual print, and not as supposed internal thoughts either. :: shudder :: The word lousy comes from louse (lice pl.) and really should be spoken as "louse E" rather than the more commonly used "L Ow Zee". It is hard to represent spoken language in some kind of intelligible printed form, isn't it? If 'lousy' were to be used in the correct way, even marginally, as to mean bug infested, it would be quite fine with me, but if someone says "I had a lousy day" without having a bug on him, I know what is meant, but still find the usage irritating. As for 'crap', I really cannot consider it any better or worse than 'shit' although 'excrement' would be more acceptable in polite company. In REALLY polite company the whole issue (sorry, bad pun?) would be avoided (sorry, I'm on a roll) altogether. :twisted:

It is actually quite correct to simply leave it all out, as in, "I drove..."

I formerly drove...

Why did you axe us about that? :twisted:

BTW, I write an absolutely terrific service manual. I've done it for work, and I cover the slightest detail, exactingly. :roll:

Of course it is subjective. Every story, every painting, every piece of music, cooking, architecture is subjective. God help us all when the art of storytelling becomes objective. It would be about as exciting as reading the dictionary, or a service manual.