Trab

You're the best Graeme. Well, er, um, hmm, maybe not the BEST, but damned close to it.

Thanks Gabriel. I wasn't even sure it would be allowed to be posted at all. I'll do that in future. I tried to go back to edit it in, but in this forum you cannot edit the title nor subject after it is posted. Sorry. Kalev has some other fantastic stuff on his site. The only thing that scares me is that he has only got it copyrighted to 2002 at the latest, which might mean it could disappear at any time. That would be a great loss. Do you think it would be okay for me to try to e-mail him to ask him to drop by these forums? Or is that inappropriate? Bart

I don't know the etiquette about posting someone else's work, so, rather than risk offending too much, I'm only going to post the URL of the poem, and leave it at that. I'm going to assume that posting a public URL is NOT violating etiquette nor any laws. Photo of Me Smiling by Kalev Hunt

Geez. You must be fun in bed. Passing out from pleasure.

Er... A pause because the person is uncertain I think this one is more that they are uncertain as to how to phrase the response rather than uncertain about the issue/discussion Uh... A pause because the person is hesitant. This is close to 'Er' and I'm not sure I appreciate the differences. I agree it is similar to Er, but for me it is more of an uncertainty about the actual discussion point. Umm... A thinking pause Hmm... Humming sound A regrouping of thoughts after taking in new information. Ah... Exclamation as the light dawns. Very similar to Aha Huh... A questioning sound, often accompanied by a puzzled look Meaning, "I have no idea what you either said or meant." Ooo... Appreciative sound... like in "Ooo... that was good!" Much like Oh Argh... Frustrated sound How the heck does this sound? I imagine it is supposed to be like the first part of ARGument. Eww... Disgusted sound E U is very similar, although I admit never having seen E U written down. Yuck Disgusted sound too Tsk Tsk sounds of disapproval Uh Uh sounds of parental disapproval meaning STOP NOW Uh oh sound on dismayed surprise as something went horribly wrong; much like Oh Oh phut exhalation of air signifying derogatory disbelief; distantly related to the current "Shut UP!" eh meaningless pause interjected to allow small minds to think of something else to say. Commonly used by Canadians, some Brits. The USA equivalent is 'huh', which sounds much sillier. Then there is the tongue between the lips and you blow spittle at the person. I have no idea what that's called.

Oh BRAVO. That was wonderful.

Des, it's the artwork that's the hardest, although getting the right paper isn't all that easy either.

Oh, you are wicked! Some parents might benefit from sexual fantasies, but GAY fantasies? I tried two different dictation to text programs over the last 10 years and each time was severely disappointed with the product, AND waste of my money. I think learning to type and using an ergonomic keyboard are the two single best things to do, besides sex, eating, drinking, sleeping, making money: Oh, I'll just shut up now. Maybe they truly ARE at the bottom of the list.

I know what you mean about the Nifty stories you sometimes find. I do believe the reason is the old style keyboard. You know the one; without any comma, period, or shift key.

Now that I have your attention The other morning, I woke up with an idea circulating in my head, and thought that it might be fun to see what you writers here could do with it. Just what could one accomplish with a single sentence, while trying to avoid having it seem too run-on. I've created my own, and while I can accept critiquing, that's not really the main purpose. Rather, I'd just like to see other similar (and hopefully better) one sentence introductions of some sort or another. Please feel free to 'run with it', or if you are going to tell me it is a stupid idea, please be gentle. With a sinking feeling as I opened the door that Friday evening to my straight and best friend Rick, standing there in all his 6?2? studly glory on the front porch of my parents? house on the outskirts of Medusa OK, next to his girlfriend and the hottest looking girl ever, I realized that I may have needed to add a bit more personal insight to the discussion we?d had last week about my growing sexual frustration and needing to be ?hooked up? soon, or I?d explode.

Anyone reading the following, please realize that the original posting has been edited subsequent to my post seen hereunder. As I've mentioned before, I'm a reader, not a writer, nor even an editor. I can often spot typos and other errors of that nature, but I'm NOT going to go into that fine a detail in this piece, since it would very likely be corrected by the editing process. On the other hand, probably just about everything I mention would be corrected by the editing process, so this is more an exercise in self aggrandizement than anything else. Be that as it may, what is fun for me may help you somewhat. Cheeers. Bart "Balanced on the narrow wall, the equation" Oops. I'm sure the equation wasn't doing the balanceing on the narrow wall... "angle of the sun reflecting" Oops. The angle wasn't really doing the reflecting either. "and in less then a nanosecond," I believe I read somewhere that the nerve impulses within the body travel at a much slower speed, so a nanosecond may be a bit optimistic. speed "He?s" His "belayed the comradely and respect he had for Travis" Belied the comradely feelings and respect... You have him jogging and trotting at the same time (they are not the same) when logically he'd ride his board as it's faster, takes less energy and he wouldn't have to carry it. "contrary to the right wing conservative times he often felt hostage to" 'despite' instead of 'contrary to' might work better. "Roman Reed, ex-college football star suddenly paralyzed when a routine play went horribly bad" It is not at all clear. Did he become the ex-college football star BECAUSE a play went bad, and is that a football play, or a theatre production that he was in as part of his arts courses? The last two paragraphs, to me, are a hodge-podge statement of facts, relationships, flipped timelines, and they cause nothing but confusion, rather than the help I was hoping to get in understanding what is going on. Up till this point, the story was quite 'readable' but here it has derailed with a bang, the paragraphs in question being much like one of those runaway train devices on railways, popping it off the track to grind to a dramatic halt.

My nephew found this http://thetravisty.com/Just_Funny/mov/Will...bal_Warming.htm

LonelyGirl15? What's that?

I don't think it's tacky to have that site: not in the least. It is a wonderful thing for you to do, something he would have been pleased with, I'm quite sure. However, the "I regret to inform you" is horridly like a pronouncement by an insensitive surgeon. Maybe, "Sadly" would be a bit less harsh. Also, I don't like the word 'indefinitely' in this context. It gives the impression we'd better download the material right now, because it may be gone by next Wednesday (or whatever). Maybe some word that shows an intent to keep it up as long as AD is on? Bart

Brave New World on the banned list? It was REQUIRED reading when I was in high school. What the heck?

I thought he really meant "prudish" rather than "prudent".

I've never been in the closet about Enya. I LOVE her music, and have tons of it. In fact, most of that Celtic music is awesome. It just describes the howling sadness within so perfectly, the loneliness, the beauty you can see around you, often without partaking. Okay, too much information, and it's not because I'm gay either. The separation from the rest of humanity has more to do with my Asperger's Syndrome and inability to communicate very well in person. Believe me, nothing stops a conversation faster than choking on your own spittle as you gag the words out of your throat. I have to say that talking to gays is much less stressful, but talking to gays aspies is best of all: except I can't find too many of them, since we're all in hiding.

Thanks for posting that.

I PMd him to explain that in my opinion it should be left, but he'd already removed it by the time he got my PM. Oh well. "ha'p'orth" OMG. Let me guess! Half penny's worth?

You have NO idea how sheltered. Seriously though, do you mean that this is a common expression?

brit18uk, masterfully said. I must say I almost spewed my coffee when I read "Charles and his horse Camilla".

Oof. Uff. I'm bleeding and cut. I'm mortally wounded, NOT. Indeed, the whole reason for this area is for learning and information exchange, so your are right-on in that regard. I also freely confess, over and over in fact, that I'm NOT a writer, I'm a reader, and therefore my comments are rather biased, and from one perspective only. Very often I will love a story, and not be able to explain why, and almost as often, should I hate something, be equally baffled and not able to explain why. In this instance, I jumped at what was to me a recognizable flaw, but completely missed the point that I should only be critiquing the story, not the 'intro'. I do hereby apologize for that.

"In my opinion I think it'd be tough to be gay and to be somebody I'd vote for based on some of the life choices they make," Goedker said. I wish these people could learn to understand that it isn't a life choice. It's who we are.

Might I suggest that if you want it to be stripped, a comma, rather than the dash, may convey the point better, unless of course you meant a stripped flag, and not a stripped body?

The ending did indeed follow logically and the use of mermaid was not a problem, and neither was the lack of names. Overall it was a bit sad, almost a metaphor for mixed relationships. I have to admit that my feelings on reading it are personal, but then, with all poetry and most prose it is the personal memories and expectations that cause our reactions. Spoilers and more spoilers His lips brushed the mermaid Upon his brown cheek, Suddenly, he felt shy Unable to speak. This brought memories of my own insecurities which triggered a bit of crying. Determined towards something That I could not name- A vision of friendship And love warm as flame. Another jag of crying, missing this in my life, a deep warmth and love seemingly almost impossible to find, and having found it, lost it again. The mermaid dare not ask, His love did not say, But it grew much harder To hide his dismay. This part, while not causing me to cry, caused some anguish, recognizing that the lack of communication was the start of the end. He tossed them to dockside Just before daybreak, They landed unbroken- A sound of heartbreak. His love transcended his personal desires. He knew he was sacrificing all for his lover. That sail in the sunset Disappearing slow, Shattered his sweet heart till He cried out, ?Don?t go!? The ship did not hear him, It calmly sailed on; The inevitable and inexorable sailing on of the ship, indifferent to the mermaid really got to me. Sometimes things are set in motion that the power of our anguish SHOULD be able to change, but cannot. Thus startled, the mermaid Let out a soft cry; As he began weeping, He simply asked, ?Why? Love, why did you leave me? Why did not return? What made you unhappy And my true love spurn?? This one really hit me in the gut. I had a serious breakup only a few months ago, and the ?Why?? really is such a cry for understanding and a return to love. But you should have asked me And told me your fears, For I would have told you I?d treasure our years. The impossibility of expressing our inner fears and needs adequately was all brought back to me with this. Even when we talk about our inner fears, our deepest needs, it is well nigh impossible to describe well, and even more difficult for the other to understand, coming from a different life with different experiences and needs. Next is super personal crap you can avoid reading. (In case anyone wants to know, or cares, I, as an Asperger's Syndrome afflicted near senior, had a short, sweet, loving spring/autumn relationship with a 'normal' person, and my inability to express and deal with my inadequacies in the relationship caused our breakup. Sadly, the failure was not due to the age difference, but to my autistic challenges. Sadly, because that means there is even less likelihood of me finding anyone else to share my life. With AS the biggest challenge of all is the social dance of looking, meeting, and talking.)