jack scribe

As James Carville said, "It's the economy, stupid." I have no idea what the impact would be in starting a pressure squeeze on Meade Microscopes - I guess it's they're largest industry - but it might be a start. I found out that Meade is 94% caucasian. Big fucking surprise. Would love to turn a few screws on these god-fearing, queer-feering folks. :evil: Jack 8)

I have no idea where Meade is located in Kansas but this is the same geographical neighborhood in which the "Rev" Phelps dwells. This is the whacko, hateful minister who pickets gay events (same one who protested Matthew Sheppard's funeral). His homophobic venom is scary.

Hey WBMS, Looking forward to Chapter Six. You certainly portray an interesting mix of characters. Tibor's silence to the police needs to be explored. :o Perhaps two more chapters in another two weeks? I'm enjoying the rather unusual story line but would like to understand the "whys" of the protagonist's acceptance of a guy who attacked him. Good show. Jack 8)

Hey, Thanks! :D Ego's about the only stroking I get these days. Jack 8)

'Kee-rist, what a fucking bummer,' he thought as Jack scrolled down the listings of the continuing series in News and Views. 'Did I just imagine that my story was running on 'dude'? I swore I saw a new posting of It Stays in Vegas. Maybe just my cyber-imagination?' Jack

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge >erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

The warmth displayed between the characters and their embracing of Matt as a friend as well as being a potential piece of the puzzle is very rewarding for this reader. The interaction between the two young farmers is most interesting. Thanks for a good story. :D

Well, ya got me hooked. I won't give away anything, but talk about a heavy-duty cliffhanger at the end of Ch. 20! =D> BTW, I've joined the fray at GA. Check out my official story site: http://jackscribe.gayauthors.org/index.html Look forward to Ch. 21...big time, dude. :D Jack 8)

I really enjoyed the lighter aspects of Chapter 3 and the introduction of the new character. I guess I was going too deeply in my search for an explanation of the father's rant. Although there was no indication in the previous chapter, I felt that the policeman/dad's upset concerned not only disgust with the dead boy's father's uncaring attitude, but a concern that Rhys was gay. And, like Blue, I thought that the Sgt. was communicating unrelenting love to his son. Really looking forward to Ch. 4. Jack

Triple WOW! :D I just had a chance to check out this delightful story...actually read through the first seven chapters. Most writers probably were silently thinking, 'I resemble that remark,' when LB did a little editorializing in one of the earlier chapters on many writers who re-cycle a worn story cliche, trot out stereotypical characters and simmer tired plot lines that re-appear on the Internet. Although I think the story dialog sometimes stetches a little to match the actual vocabulary capacity and emotional presence of an early to mid-teen, the pathos and stark inner emotion that is in the balance more than complensates for any short coming. I know...picky, picky picky. The love triangle of the young guys, as construed by the protagonist, is very original. That this is LB's first story is further proof that the author has a talent to watch and follow.

Or, Kung Fu..sion cuisine. Excellent chapter.

I get the 'big picture' of the story and love Aunt Cynthia's past references to the tree. But then there is a three paragraph throw-away injection about a 'Karen Christian' character. It is really distracting the way she is presented. Further down is Rhys's confrontation with his father and a rant that comes out of left field. Rhys can't figure out what that's all about and the father doesn't explain. This literary oil in water leaves me confused. There should be some hint, I feel, about the father's explosive confrontation with his son. I enjoy the premise of the story and certainly admire Graeme's writing.I'm sure we all know how Gary Ross's heart was broken. As a reader, however, I find my concentration sidetracked and disoriented by the issues stated.

A friend sent me supposedly actual analogies and metaphors collected by a high school English teacher. These heinous examples are culled from a writing competition. Here are a few of my favorites: 1. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. 2. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. 3. She grew on him like she was a colony of Ecoli and he was room-temperature Canadian Ham. 4. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze. 5. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River. 6. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. 7. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools. Big grins and hugs, Jack

I agree with Blue: rather than obfuscate and engage in scholarly perambulations as the literary reference did so handily, I'll just cut to the chase. :p I've really become a believer writing in a third person style. And specifically limited third person style. I use both free indirect discourse to explore reactions/emotions of the lead third person and solid third person narration to explore the lead third person's thoughts (with punctuation). A mentor who lives in London - Drew - helped me to be become disciplined in writing with only one character being the lead in a scene. It is really confusing when two more characters emote their thoughts and reactions at the same time. Adding to the distraction is the shifting of tense...in the same sentence. Just some thoughts from a guy with a business school background who likes to write and share a story. Jack

I hesitate to add to this thread. 'Dude' touched on a couple of very good reasons a story is stalled or just disappears. Whether it is 'gradual' school, illness, or other personal reasons, let's consider another reason for stories fading away...lack of response. We all lay it on the line: creative juices, dueling intellect, passion for the subject, a point of view, ego vulnerability and (most of all) a story to tell. We get the story posted. And then we wait, and wait and wait. The silence in cyberspace is deafening when an Internet author gets no feedback. Even a 'fuck you' would be appreciated. I think that some writers just decide to hang it up.

Whoa. I didn't mean to irk you and I'm hardly a "high-brow fag'. :o I applaud 'dude's' decision to publish and highlight your story. It is a little contrary to the mission statement heading above the home page: "Stories By, For and About Gay and Bi Young People." I understand that you fall into the "By" category. And your story's POV certainly needs to be examined. Look forward to reading more of your stories.

While I found the subject a little odd on a site dedicated to young (and not so young), gay readers, the story is well-written and points out some of the shallowness of a gay culture. I particularly liked the very last part of the last paragraph: "...where sexual identity means more than it's worth." 8) Nicely done. Jack