Tragic Rabbit
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Okay TR. Thanks for the post, but now I, and countless others who are not privvy to US news 24/7, need to know if you posted this as a joke, or if it is true. Did that really happen? No joking around, please. I want to know.
Bart
It's not a joke, it's Borowitz (as link states) and, as such, is political commentary aka 'Views'. Andy Borowitz is not comedy club act, he's one of the most amazing political commentators currently working, in my opinion. He's the winner Of The First-Ever National Press Club Award For Humor. Andy Borowitz, Al Franken and The Onion, to name just three, are insightful, valid views on news, just Op Eds with a twist of lemon.
Trab, you've the same access as I do to US News...here on the Internet. I don't watch television and rarely read hardcopy newspapers (and was recently lectured for that at a local Latino political meeting) but I do read the news online and am subscribed to email newslists that are mostly open to anyone.
So, is what true? That a lot of Republicans lost their seats, and their pants, last night? Yes, it's true. Would Dubya like a Do-Over? You betcha. Is Andy Borowitz dot com a great way to experience US news? No question; I love that man, would have his babies in a heartbeat.
If you want more detailed coverage of election results, I recommend CNN, NPR, the NYT and many other news sources that can be located via Google, etc. In 'my' state, alas, most Republicans retained their seats, including Governor Rick Perry. I did my bit: I voted, protested, wore stupid buttons and participated in some minor campaign grunt work, though should probably have done more.
The question is, will 2008 campaigns slogans ask that you 'Don't Blame Me, I Voted Republican'? I have mixed feelings about this year's election results. I'd almost prefer to just give the b*stards a bit more rope...
Kisses...
TR
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http://www.borowitzreport.com/
Bush Asks For Do-Over
Offers to Fire Rumsfeld
In the wee hours of the morning after American voters swept his party from power, President George W. Bush made an extraordinary appearance on national television to ask the national electorate for a "do-over."
Millions of viewers were tuned into televised Election Night coverage when Mr. Bush, using the nation's Emergency Broadcasting System, interrupted those telecasts to make a direct appeal to the American people.
Looking unshaven and unsteady, and occasionally slurring his words, the president implored the American people to invalidate the results of last night's election and vote again.
"I grew up with the great tradition of do-overs on the golf courses of Greenwich, Connecticut," Mr. Bush told the American people. "And what's good for golf is good for democracy."
Mr. Bush said that if the American people would grant him a do-over, he would gladly fire Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, referring to his longtime Cabinet member as "that loser."
Across the country, voters registered shock and astonishment at the unorthodox speech by Mr. Bush, many of them troubled by the president's decision to appear on national television wearing only a stained undershirt.
One hour after the president's address, Democratic National Committee chairman Howard Dean delivered the official Democratic response: "He must be on crack."
But minutes after Mr. Dean's appearance, Mr. Bush interrupted the networks' broadcasts once more, raising the ante in his bid for a do-over: "All right, I'll fire Cheney's ass, too, but that's my final offer."
Elsewhere, among the many who lost once-secure positions yesterday were Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Penn), Sen. Lincoln Chaffeee (R-R.I.), and Britney Spears' husband Kevin Federline.
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LOVE that last stanza, James.
Kisses...
TR
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rewind
is it too late, do you think
to walk back
into the sun of summers long past?
pick a fruit left on the vine,
succulent
luscious yet unplucked those years ago?
can one do that, do you think
just turn back
hit rewind and make a different choice?
and what if it is offered
once again
just as if you had never said no?
how would it be, do you think
to smile and
and bite deep into the fruit that beckons?
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Just wanted to go on record as saying that this and Jack Scribe's Goblins are my two favorite of our Halloween festival stories. I'm not including Josh's Masquerade because it's not all online yet and also because it's more than a Halloween tale.
I like this a lot, very romantic, weird and sad, too. Great writing, Graeme!
Kisses...
TR
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French fries and all the fun ways to chow them down.
[*]ketchup
[*]melted cheese
[*]meaty hot sauce
[*]mustard (all diff. kinds)
[*]ranch dressing
[*]blue cheese dressing
Oh, all right, I'll play.
And yes, the gravy thing is vile but it's a Southern US thing, though I have occasionally (mis)used gravy for that purpose when given a trough of gravy for some combined Southern fried food plate that's really, really bad for me, eg. fried 'chicken fingers' (there's another weird Americanism for you, speaking of chicken teeth) and 'French fried' fries ('chips' to you non-Colonials, though they do make bizarre distinctions here between thinly sliced, sliced crossways, cubed and other whatevers...but it's still just fried potatoes.).
Speaking of spuds, I adore potato cakes/potato latkes, which you can't easily get, apparently, outside private homes in the lower States I'm currently mired in. I'm not sure if that's bc it's a Jewish food or maybe Russian/Polish, but you can't get a lot of what's considered unAmerican delicious American foods south of the Mason-Dixon (or West of the Mighty Mississippi). Highly specific, what's here and what's there.
Try finding a decent deli anywhere outside the NE, for instance, it's a disgrace! How I occasionally long for good corned beef sandwich or a real pickle! A few things, natch, are like Apple Pie, you can get 'em anywhere: hamburgers (which aren't from Hamburg), pizza (which isn't from Italy, though what passes for pizza in Texas is sometimes really shocking), malted milkshakes (which do, oddly enough, contain both malt and milk and are also shaken), etc.
Very popular in most of America (I can't stand them) are 'ribs', which are just that, big heaping plates of ribbed sides of whatever (pig, I assume, and not roof rabbit) and dripping with 'barbeque sauce'. There are whole chains of restaurants devoted to nothing else! Yuck, not my thing, though I understand it was popular with the Flintstone family.
Second only to that in my lexicon of inedibles are 'wings', sometimes known as 'chicken wings' but more often as 'buffalo wings' (don't get me started), and again there are whole restaurant chains that specialize in them, and they consist, apparently, of large baskets/plates of tiny little fried/barbequed/shellacked (well, that's how they look) itty bitty tiny parts of chicken legs. They are considered a delicacy in the South (but so are 'grits'), come in all sorts of coatings and styles, and are eaten both as appetizers and as meals. Double yuck. Grits, too. Sorry, James!
My personal French Fry/chip eating preferences are, in order (and always including the dreaded salt): mayonaise, ranch dressing (Rick, I could mail you a selection of dry packaged mixes for it, if you want to try it, it's delish), blue/bleu cheese dressing and cheddar or other cheeses melted atop. Ketchup strictly as a last resort. I'm not a big fan of fries, that is I pretend to try to avoid them, but potatoes, what can I say? Did you know that you can fry 'sweet potatoes' (yams), too, and they're quite good? I recommend cubed instead of strips, though, for those.
I liked malted vinegar on (fried) fish but not on the chips, but hey, I'm a Yank. Lemon on non-fried fish. Actually, the piano-playing bf and I eat regularly at a place that serves only UK/Irish foods and beers, so I do get the alleged real thing now and again. Mother is actually Irish and holds dual citizenship, I may not have mentioned that before. I have a Scots friend whom everyone around assumes is 'English', so that's a source of fun for us, though unrelated to food, I suppose.
Now that I'm feeling peckish, I think I'll go have a bite. Run, Harry, run!
Kisses...
TR
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That being said, what do you guys eat fries with?
My fingers.
TR
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10 wounded in gunfight at Halloween street party
SAN FRANCISCO, California (AP) -- Gunfire broke out between two groups at a massive Halloween street party in the city's Castro district, wounding at least 10 people, including innocent bystanders, police said Wednesday.
The shooting began around 10:40 p.m. Tuesday as authorities were dispersing thousands of revelers under a curfew aimed at controlling the traditionally raucous party.
Two people were detained for questioning, but no one had been arrested early Wednesday, police Capt. Al Casciato said. He said two groups of people had gotten into an altercation when the shooting began.
One victim was listed in critical condition at San Francisco General Hospital.
The once-spontaneous and unsanctioned party was taken over by the city four years ago after police recorded five stabbings and a number of assaults in a 2002 crowd of 500,000 people and confiscated a chain saw.
Officials and members of the district's large gay community said the party had started attracting gay bashers along with the usual colorfully costumed characters.
On Tuesday night, city officials ramped up the police presence, reduced the number of entertainment stages from three to one and cut off the festivities at 11 p.m.
"We had the sheriff's department screening people for weapons and alcohol. Obviously you have a major event -- a lot of different spots" to patrol, said police spokesman Neville Gittens said. "I can't explain how this happened. Unfortunately it did happen, and we are investigating to find out who is the cause of the shooting."
Ted Morales, 43, said he was working as a volunteer security guard for the event when he "heard someone empty their gun" in the crowd.
"When the shooting happened, people just dove to the ground like a wall of water," said Morales, who did not see what led up to the shooting. A woman standing near him was grazed in the neck by a bullet, he said.
Sophia Vlahiotis, who owns Capri Ristorante Pizza just yards from the scene, was outside selling pizzas when a crowd of people fleeing the bullets began running in her direction.
"They pushed the table over, the oven fell and then I realized it was gunshots," she said. "They were trying to get into the restaurant, there were so many people."
Vlahiotis, who did not see what led up to the shooting, said this year may be her last participating in the Halloween party.
"I'm still shaking," she said. "I don't know if I want to do this again. It's not worth my life."
Copyright 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
Find this article at:
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Sorry, TR, but no tributes from me on this one.
At least not until the rest of the story is posted
I want to see how it turns out...Pig. Twit. Jerk. Esp when I'm late because I'm helping others like a good little Story Editor. Anyhow, it's now complete, all posted, unedited and unproofed BUT all there, you can read it and see how it turns out, now. Since you hate horror, Graeme, I don't know why you're bothering but oh, well. Be warned, don't eat while reading Where No Shadows Fall .
CLICK HERE TO READ COMPLETE TALE Where No Shadows Fall-complete TR tale
Where No Shadows Fall is TR trying to be as disgusting and unromantic as possible. Or maybe romantic but in a really weird, disturbing and creepy way. He may have failed, at least on one count...
Let me know what you think, Camy, too, though for the record I don't know that I write well, or whatever. I need constant reassurance, ask the Dude...who doesn't give much, btw.
Corpse Kisses...
TR
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!! -
Billy's (call me 'Bill') friends keep asking him what his costume is this year, but it's a secret. The thing is, it's not the only secret Bill is gonna spring at Halloween! To get the point, read The Point, AD's Halloween short offering by WBMS.
http://www.awesomedude.com/haloween_2006/The%20Point.htm
From The Point :
At lunch, a group called him over, ?Hey, Billy, come over here!? and he went over. He was still smiling but said ?Call me Bill from now on. I?m not Billy anymore. Billy is a kid?s name.?
His friends? eyebrows rose in surprise, but Billy was full of surprises. ?Sure, Bill. If that?s what you want. It?ll take some getting used to.?
?There are lots of things that take getting used to. I?m still me, but I?ve decided I?m Bill now. I hope that?s okay with you all. Make sure you let everyone now.?
?Sure, Bill. Whatever you say. Can you tell us why??
?It?s a simple as I already told you. I?m not a kid anymore and Billy is a kid?s name.? Billy momentarily lost his ever-present smile and that did not go unnoticed by anyone. The subject dropped immediately.
?So what about your costume??
?Oh, you?ll have to wait and see but I think it?s my best one ever.?
BE SURE TO EMAIL WBMS TO LET HIM KNOW YOU ENJOYED AND APPRECIATED HIS STORY! -
I can only hope we shall see each other againIn that place where there is only love and no shadows fall,You have touched my very being...I shall remember you. ~Louisiana epitaph
The death of their Aunt Rose forces a reluctant brother and sister back to their childhood home in the fetid swamps of Louisiana, where they'd grown up next door to their Grandpa's funeral home, Repose in Peace. Secrets abound in this taut tale of familial connections, undying love and macabre memories. Read part one of Where No Shadows Fall today, and the far creepier part two on Halloween night itself, for a final spooky TR scare!
CLICK HERE TO READ COMPLETED STORY Where No Shadows Fall, a Halloween TR Tale
From Where No Shadows Fall:
Without speaking, we picked up her luggage, a matched Mark Cross set, found the car rental place, settled for a blue Honda Civic and headed out of Baton Rouge. She drove while I chain-smoked in the front passenger seat. We weren?t either one of us much for talking, and there was precious little we needed to communicate. She knew the way, I knew the score: keep my mouth shut. It had been her single condition for returning. Old times are best forgotten always was her motto, at least with family. The radio offered only static and a tacky gospel station, which we listened to, in an unspoken ironic tribute to Aunt Rose, all during that night drive to Slaughter, Louisiana. With my last swallow of cold coffee, I tossed back a couple dozen more milligrams of Valium.
There sure is no damn place like home.
ALSO: Hear TR read his sexy, spooky story The Midnight Chime , a frontpage Dude's Pick and also available on the Awesome Dude Sound Files page, along with poems by Gabe, TR, Camy and story snippets from Graeme!
DON'T FORGET TO EMAIL AUTHORS IF YOU ENJOY THEIR EFFORTS! -
Pete and Eric had been together nearly eight years when things got a little...predictable and Pete left Eric for picturesque Palm Springs. They'd been together for better or worse, but real life has no happy endings, right? But after months of bachelorhood, a Halloween night of candy apples and neighborhood trick-or-treaters offers lonely Eric the discovery that Goblin Patrol has unexpected treats in store, even for grownups! Familiar looking Goblins at the Door lead Eric into the most astonishing Halloween he's ever had! Don't miss this one from favorite net author Jack Scribe!
http://www.awesomedude.com/haloween_2006/G...0the%20Door.htm
From Goblins at the Door:
?Hi, kids.? Eric opened the screen door and smiled.
?Hi, Mister. Trick or treat?? said the girl.
?Oh, a treat to be sure,? Eric said with a smile. He took two caramel apples, wrapped them with waxed paper and handed one to each of the children. He looked at the little boy and something stood out. ?Jeez, who is this kid?? he wondered. ?Must be a neighbor but I don?t recognize him. He certainly looks familiar, though.?
?Oh, wow,? said the boy. I?m going to eat this when I get home.?
?Thanks, replied the girl. ?Come on, Stevie, your dad is waiting to go to dinner.?
?Just a minute, kids. I?m curious?do you live around here. I?ve seen Stevie somewhere but I can?t place it.?
DON'T FORGET TO EMAIL OUR HALLOWEEN AUTHORS AND LET THEM KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! -
Another school dance but not just any dance, not with Graeme in charge! This story is chock-full of Halloween goodies: spooky costumes, romantic cravings, creepy happenings, scary moments and, best of all, one seriously shocking ending! But no cheating, you have to read Trick or Treat? from great start to fantastic finish, and then email Aussie author Graeme to tell him how much you enjoyed it!
http://www.awesomedude.com/haloween_2006/trick_or_treat.htm
From Trick or Treat?:
The music had restarted and a semi-random wave of color from the overhead lights was dancing over the crowd. A moody mist was creeping across the floor from fog machines around the edges.
?Well, I think it?s time to go and say hello to a certain young lady,? Cole said as he rose to his feet. ?I promised her some dances.?
Brett chuckled. ?Okay, say hello to Helen for me, too. What did she pick as her costume??
Cole chuckled. ?With her figure, Helen of Troy, of course.?
Cole had just reached the door when all the lights in the hall went off and the music died. After a moment, a set of faint blue lights illuminated the crowd.
?What the fuck!? Brett said as he scanned the computer screen.
Cole headed back to his seat. ?Did the software crash??
?Not that I can see... wait... something?s happening.?
DON'T FORGET TO EMAIL THE AUTHOR WITH YOUR APPRECIATION! -
Attend a spooky school dance with AD author Nevius (rhymes with 'devious') in Halloween Dance , his unusual Halloween Festival offering. Jon doesn't want to attend any 'fuckin' Halloween Dance' but, boy, will he be glad his best friend Mark dragged him there! Cool costumes, cute boys and loads of fun make this a Halloween treat you won't want to miss from awesome AD author Nevius!
http://www.awesomedude.com/nevius/Halloween%20Dance.htm
From Halloween Dance :
After the fourth or fifth song exhaustion starts to set in and my mind begins to wander from the girl in front of me. Suddenly I come to a complete stop as I see the most gorgeous butt in the whole world bent over before me. He?s picking something up off of the floor. Dressed in white full body leotard with a skeleton printed?well, at least across the back, I am awed.
?Whoa,? I vibrate in a deep baritone voice.
?Are you OK,? Cherie asks.
I nod slowly and then begin to dance again while staring at the boy across the floor. As he stands up I see he has a full head rubber skull on.
?Dammit,? I mumble. Entranced by the ?body? across the floor I need to know who it belongs to because instantly I know that there is more to this than just lust; an aura exudes from him that speaks to me.
DON'T FORGET TO EMAIL EACH AUTHOR TO TELL THEM HOW MUCH YOU ENJOYED THEIR EFFORTS! -
Another short but sweet treat is Rick's little visit to Scotland. A Really Strange Scottish Experience has loads of sugar-free fun in the form of a castle keep, lovely Scottish countryside and a couple of picnicking shutterbug hikers. But you'll never believe what they capture on film!
http://www.awesomedude.com/haloween_2006/A...0Experience.htm
From A Really Strange Scottish Experience :
After a generous breakfast we set off on a drive around the local area and marvelled at the majestic scenery of Scottish mountains and lakes. Fortunately, I had finally given in to myself recently and bought a four-litre diesel Range Rover; traction therefore, wasn?t a problem. We had noticed several inviting looking tracks leading off the twisty single track road we were on, so spotting one that didn?t look quite as treacherous as the previous few; I turned into it and began to climb the hill it led us to.
As we crested it we gasped in awe when the ruin of an enormous castle and lake came into view. On looking further to our left we could also see a really strange looking and very higgledy-piggledy village off in the distance. It was certainly too far to walk. Out came the camera and we set off on foot to stroll around the shore of the lake. We had brought a packed lunch so took that with us too.
DON'T FORGET TO EMAIL RICK IF YOU LIKE HIS STORY!
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A story first for Trab, Trick is his Halloween offering in our AD Halloween Festival Box. It's short and sweet, so read about Peter's one-of-a-kind Halloween night and, as always, email the author with your comments!
http://www.awesomedude.com/haloween_2006/trick_by_trab.htm
From Trick:
Every time he was near a good-looking guy, heck, any guy, he felt a charge of excitement. Sometimes that would lead to an embarrassing (but thrilling) stirring down below, but most often it was just a feeling of being on top of the world. Sadly, though, he?d seen some of the reactions at his school when they found out some guy was gay. Teasing was the least of the problems.
Peter had a classic case of Junior High Shyness, and he couldn?t manage to string two words together, in a social context, much less hold an actual conversation. Sure, he knew all the answers in class, but if asked to actually give an answer, he completely froze up. Saliva would build in his throat while he tried to speak, finally choking him, and he?d have to cough till it was clear again. While this, and the heart condition that kept him benched during PE, were cause for some serious teasing, it didn?t translate into any overt physical abuse. Being outed as gay, though, would be another thing altogether. The very idea terrified him.
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Don't miss Josh's new story, a four-chapter-plus-epilogue tale of three best friends: Tim, Jason and Sam (short for Samantha). They explore their neighborhood, each other and the pains of growing up in Masquerade, a wonderful, sweet and sexy new story from Josh.
NOTE: Story currently inhabits our Halloween Festival Box but will move to regular front page status after these Gay High Holy Days are over.
http://www.awesomedude.com/haloween_2006/M...%20Chap%201.htm
From Masquerade, p1
A year after Aunt Ellie?s divorce -- when I was four and Jason was five -- Samantha?s family moved to San Antonio; into the two-story, wood-framed house next door to mine.
Jason and I watched them move in, hoping for a boy our age. Instead, there was a girl with thick, dark-red hair. She saw us, and walked right up. My height, she looked right into my eyes, and I was like ?whoa!? and backed up a step.
Samantha looked from me to Jason, said ?hi,? and that was that. It was Jason, Timmy, and Samantha after that; the three of us constantly together, and usually at Sam?s house. Her parents were warm, friendly, intelligent? all the things Jason?s and my folks were not. And they always welcomed us there.
Sam didn?t just follow Jason and me on our ambling adventures around the neighborhood, she often led them. She was an equal partner in our triumvirate. She could climb a tree as quickly as us. She ran faster than I did. Princess Leia herself couldn?t have wielded a light saber any better than Samantha did when we took on the Empire.
There was a small, wooded park near our homes, and it became our kingdom; its depths, our fortress. The three of us built castles there, explored continents, and flew to far galaxies.
Don't forget to email the author!
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I'm delighted to say that Josh is back with us... and his contribution is actually Chapter 1 of his new four part story Masquerade.
Just wanted to say that Masquerade is a five parter, four chapters plus an epilogue. I love this story from one of my favorite net authors and an all-round wonderful guy, Josh, author of The Least of These. Don't miss this chapter 1 for Halloween, and then don't miss the continuing story! It's right up there with Josh's best, I kid you not!
I'll pretend the 'macabre' comment wasn't a personal slur, lol. Mary Shelley I'm not, nor do I hang out (much) in graveyards. Stories and poems just somehow come off the keyboard with creepy, weird twists, is all. Where No Shadows Fall, actually a two parter where you get the really gruesome (or is that really romantic?) half on Halloween night itself, might be the creepiest TR tale yet.
Both of the above tales have stunning secrets revealed later on, so check back and prepare to be surprised!
Read all our AD Halloween stories and don't forget to email each author to tell them thanks for writing and how much you liked their efforts!
Kisses...
TR
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THANK GOD for IEDs??? WTF is THAT?
"We're thankful for the IEDs that kill the fruit of this nation, because he thereby demonstrates that he's giving fair warning to all the other 300 million Americans to Repent or Perish... It's a grotesque sin against God to not be thankful for IEDs."
The saints of the Most High God thank Him for using 'Improvised Explosive Devices' to punish a nation laden with sin!
et cetera...
From: http://www.thesignsofthetimes.net/tgfi.html and http://www.godhatesamerica.org/
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I pulled that from the godhatesamerica.com website itself, an adjunct to godhatesfags.com, and it's from a 2006 Missouri protest, I think. Westboro Church actually protests at a lot of (other) churches, funerals and GLBT religious or political events, my own church has been picketed by various Christ-like organizations such as Phelps'. It's not uncommon, check out their websites for more information if you have a strong stomach. I don't think this one was one of the military funeral protests but those get the same treatment at present.
People in the photo who are not protesting may be attending the actual event, protesting the protesters or with a news agency, that latter being the raison d'etre of Phelps' protests. There are often folk hanging around watching when protests are happening, esp if there are opposing camps in evidence. All the pictured signs are aimed at decrying America going to Hell because it tolerates and celebrates fagdom, etc, etc, hence the trampled American flag. Hurricane Katrina was one of America's punishments for this pro-fag attitude, btw.
I juxtaposed it with the OutProud logo and links to their site, along with my own 'Reject the Hate', btw. I did not link any of the Phelps' sites...
TR
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Except for the '*heee heee*', I loved it, laughed repeatedly. Very cute, very funny, nicely done, I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I feel constrained to point out my suspicion that most Odes are composed when the poet is inebriated, so the 'drunken ode' in the title might be redundant. I'd like to see research done into the influence of drugs and alcohol on great literature, past and present, and I think Josiah just volunteered.
Kisses...
TR
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It has Tabs! Wow! (Yawn).
Yeah, those IE tabs are helping me a lot, and they'll help more when I get the settings to my liking.
TR
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A west Texas cowboy was herding his cows in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and a YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resoluti on photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and
exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within minutes, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on, amused, as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says the cowboy.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows.........
Now give me back my dog."
Election coming up, make sure you register to vote.
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wake me when I'm crying
if you spend the night, here in my bed,
I only ask that nothing?s said;
if my pillow?s wet, please tell no one
that my eyes cried until the sun
just wake me when I?m crying
or look the other way,
it?s just my heart that?s dying;
at dawn, I?ll be okay
please don?t let them guess he haunts my sleep
or let him know that I still weep;
if you lie with me until the dawn,
tell no one else what?s going on
just wake me when I?m crying,
don?t let me cry all night,
forgive me all my sighing;
at dawn, I?ll be all right
if you stay with me, try not to mind,
ignore each tear that you will find;
yes, I know that it?s unfair to you
but please don?t let them know I?m blue
just wake me when I?m crying
and rock me back to sleep,
I promise that I?m trying
to learn how not to weep
it?s been long enough, my heart should mend,
my tear-filled nights should finally end;
I wish I?d forget he said goodbye
but I can?t help it that I cry
just wake me when I?m crying
and hold me close to you,
till all my tears are drying
and this long night is through
if you spend your night alone with me,
don?t let me drown in heartbreak?s sea;
though it isn?t you that is to blame,
please wipe my tears and call my name
just wake me when I?m crying
and tell no one it?s true;
help send this heartache flying
and bid these tears adieu
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BE SURE TO EMAIL WBMS TO LET HIM KNOW YOU ENJOYED AND APPRECIATED HIS STORY! 
Scan to donate
'We Belong' video
in News & Views
Posted
-- The struggle of two gay teens who endured hazing at the hands of classmates -- and were arrested for it -- and who still had the courage to speak out and fight for lasting change is detailed in "We Belong." Contest, enter your vote!
http://www.current.tv/make/vc2/sot;jsessio...2A6CBBC9CFA92EF
Great gay video on homophobia by two gay teens in school...
TR