Adam Donaldson Powell

My own experience with chat rooms that I have run for groups of persons with diverse interests and life situations, is that they work best when there is a schedule that is posted: e.g. possibly; Thursdays 5 p.m. EST: topic -- blah blah blah. Not all topics have to be serious or writing-related -- perhaps some people just want to chat with people whose posts they read daily or weekly. But with so many different readers and writers, and so many interests, and with people living all over the world in different time zones some structure must exist for it to be workable.

I hear ya Pecman: writing/reading about explicit or even non-explicit sex is not always very interesting .. but sometimes it is an essential part of being human; and being gay. Besides, there is nothing wrong with titillating, with providing enjoyment and recreation that excites the senses and gonads and imagination, and which can also both be potentially educational and a confirmation that one's experiences and feelings and desires are not solely one's own or necessarily "psychotic" or "dirty" .. they are just what they are. Not all stories/novels/poems have to be moralistic or idealistic portrayals of how the author thinks society/gay society should be/become. I personally hate "preaching" in literature. I want to be lured into others' experiences and character portrayals so that I can -- together with the author -- co-create / re-create the story in my own mind, with my own experiences/fantasies as a background. I do not confuse sexual turn-on and lust with getting "emotionally involved". Yes, sometimes I do write and read things which become jerk-off material .. my being ashamed to admit this would be ludicrous for me. And I also get emotionally involved with my characters (possibly even more so because most of them are based upon real people and real experiences which are fictionalized to various degrees); and I laugh, cry, get a hard-on (and sometimes relieve it) when re-reading some passages. I remember reading the complete novels of Jean Genet. I called him a "stupid, selfish son-of-a-bitch" while in the middle of "Funeral Rites", and literally threw the book across the loft apartment .. not picking it up again before several weeks later; I was fucking pissed off at his attitude as a writer and gay man. However I did continue reading his works and fell in love again with him by the time I read "Querelle". His literary "genius" combined with his ability to let it all hang out -- quite literally sometimes has tremendous effect on readers ... still today. Killing off characters that I have a personal affinity to is often painful .. but it sometimes must be done for the story to work. That being said, I believe it was Sigmund Freud who intimated that all characters in our dreams are aspects of our own personalities. Well, I would say the same about characters we create in our literature. And for those who are adamantly against, or who are afraid of exploring and experimenting with writing topics and themes, with sex or heavy topics which are important for many gays (and humans in general) today: sexual misuse and abuse, no-sex due to fear, condom-hate, barebacking, HIV, drug addiction, prostitution, suicide, non-acceptance .. I can only replay my own record: "write what you want .. but these topics also have their audiences right here on AD. Let us not make a general "clique"/internal society that scares/shames writers from trying to serve the need to provide also these gays literature that they can relate to in their experience of being/becoming "gay", "lesbian", "bisexual", "trans"." And let us be careful not to insult or spread our own "morals" regarding this to inquisitive and seeking readers by getting upset when they ask for sex, stories about HIV, drug abuse etc. Bisous, A.

Dear Pecman, Just got around to reading your novel "Groovy Kind of Love". You had a good plot and strategy, and the sex was just as much a natural part of the story as anything else. My only reaction was the maturity of these young men .. in terms of both language, actions, knowledge and emotions, but I didn't have my first gay relationship before I was 15 years old .. and I know that times have changed much since then. Write what you want -- with or without sex -- and do not feel either ashamed or that you must justify how much sex the work calls for in your opinion. best, A.

Write what you feel for -- based on your own experiences, someone else's experiences or even your own fantasies. If you write well and do the research needed for the story to be experienced as "believable", you will find your audience. Every writer should decide himself/herself what he/she wants to write about .. and how. Just remember that readers, publishers, reviewers, distributors etc. also may have some opinions -- based on their needs, their guidelines and their clientele. That being said, I do believe that some of AD's readers (which I assume includes persons of many ages and levels of sexual experience) may also come from varied backgrounds and life/cultural experiences. Many have certainly had their sexual debut at an early age, some may have questions/curiosity regarding sex and sexual expression and gay relationships, some may live on the streets, some may be drug or alcohol abusers, some may live with "sugar daddies", some may be abused or have suffered abuse, some may have HIV/AIDS or herpes, some may have to turn tricks in order to survive .. and some may just be interested in romance stories etc. These persons have a legitimate claim to literature/art that expresses their needs and their perspectives/experiences of "gayness". Even not having sex can be an important issue for many of our readers to read about. Thankfully, it looks as if AD offers something for everyone. There is no need to judge, or to feel compelled to write differently than you wish to write .. or to get annoyed with a reader/readers who are looking for a little more action/explicit writing than you are able to or willing to provide. Send them elsewhere on the website in a respectful and polite way.

Hey Jason! It was never my meaning that the poem should be "polished" in a conventional way. I did not want to give Josiah any concrete advice as to how to make this work better both as a personal poem and a piece of literature many (if not most can identify with) because I did not want to influence his natural writing style or talent too much, but my thoughts generally have to do with accentuating the "rapturous" style to an extreme, allowing the inner voices to take on several emotional (and sometimes "irrational" voices/outbursts) as well as (perhaps) removing some of the non-essential words/lines which break up the beauty of the emotionality expressed.

Thanks Graeme!

Regarding: Jay B's novel 'And Dream My Dreams Of You' I am slowly working my way through the many fine poems, stories and novels posted on AD. The sequence is arbitrary, so please (you other fine authors) do not feel 'left out' if I have not yet commented on your work(s) as an author. I have just quickly read through Jay B's novel 'And Dream My Dreams Of You", with immense respect and satisfaction. Jay B shows integrity: both as an author in general, and as a good storyteller. His ability to plan out and maintain a good story line; his attention to detail regarding his plot and the development thereof; and his characters is commendable. He possesses the innate ability to hold the readers' attention without the usage of tricks or gimmicks -- i.e. to give visual recognition without spelling out every thought or action in a sensational way . I am proud to note that Jay B has chosen the genre of "gay literature" as one of his forms of literary expression, and at the same time I hope that his tremendous writing talent is boundless (that is to say that he uses this unique writing talent to approach other genres and topics/themes as well). This because I see in his writing (based on just this one novel) a promise and a potential that most established writers would commend, and perhaps envy. Bravo!

Dear 'Pecman' (by the way, I love the name): Thank you for an honest post. Most men do actually have sex drives at some points/levels in their lives .. and erotic writing exists (among other reasons) to satisfy and perpetuate/ help us to identify with that basic, primal function. I have decided that I would like to read the "barn orgy" scene in Groovy Kind of Love; and let you know if it functioned physically (i.e. if I became aroused, as you have intended) and at the same time as "so-called literature" . However, I cannot find the name 'Pecman' on the author list. Please direct me to the proper link, or send me your entire story pr. e-mail.

I am certain that you are great to look at Cole, but I must say that (being a dog lover) I find your profile photo quite "gorgeous" and would be honoured to take you for a walk. Seriously guys, this is a fun thread .. let's me get to know a bit about other writers' experiences/feelings about writing. I look forward to reading several of your stories and novels and poetry.

Great Graeme! Have you been asked to read the story aloud yourself and to talk about it, or will the teacher assign the story to the class members? Either way, it would be very interesting to hear the students' reactions/feedback. I just had a similar experience earlier tonight: several of my Spanish-language poems were read and analyzed at my Spanish conversational class. Interesting comments and varying degrees of understanding/interpretation .... Such feedback is every bit as exciting as official book reviews in my opinion.

what is the most interesting/complimentary/satisfying comment you have received regarding your writing from an admirer? - that the admirer likes your style, use of technique and characters, message etc.? - that the book/story was entertaining? - that he/she wishes he had written it himself/herself? - that he/she wants to get to know you better? - that your style reminds him/her of another 'famous author' - that he/she has become inspired to start to write him/herself? - that he/she wants to meet you (and possibly date or have sex with you)? I have received all of the above reactions, but enjoy most number 6: that he/she has become inspired to start to write him/herself. How about you guys?

he he funtails ... hardly............ but good, engaging writing sometimes does, as does anything that titillates the sensations to creative ideas and production. my point is that 'pornography' has gotten a 'bad rap' as the bane of modern civilization, but that sex/nudity and profanity are now to been seen and enjoyed in all facits of everyday life (art, television, newspapers, magazines, books, films, rap songs etc. ad nauseum) .. the sex act is now "normalized" and unfortunately so is violence, social injustice, corruption, killing, torture, marginalization of persons who do not fit into accepted societal norms. people who care about others are once again often referred to as 'commies' etc. we are becoming a world who believes everything we read in the news (which is surprisingly similar on all world broadcasts except in the so-called "axis of evil", isn't it?!!) and who are deadened by fascination with superstars/celebrities and the possibility of instant fame, and collective and individual self-centeredness. The large corporations who steer the world (and who also steer Bush and other world leaders) produce true pornography -- here defined as written, graphic, or other forms of communication designed to excite lascivious feelings (Webster). Lascivious: of or characterized by lust, lewd, lecherous (Webster). The new lasciviousness in my opinion is not sex (Bill and Monica ruined that fantasy for most of us), but that which truly turns us on today: greed, materialism, the "he who owns the most when he dies, wins" attitude, non-compassion for those who are less fortunate (both near and far), rampant and indiscriminate consumerism, abuse of those who are different and the poor etc. Not to mention glorification of 'superstars' and getting hooked on all products they 'create' (with the help of ghost writers and designers) in order to keep their names in the forefront of everyone's minds (and credit card bills). Pornography is now also the brainwashing activities and subcultures of various forms of mafia, drug cartels, established religions and money-grubbing (and sex abusing) spiritual cults, the media, cyber monopolies etc. and all who attempt to gain control of our minds, hearts and behavior by sucking the 'soulness' out of being human, and instilling in us a constant code of control and comformity. The new 'sexy-ness' is increasingly mental, and often quite concerned with personal image, money, power and influence. ... I do not worry about words like 'fuck', 'dick', 'prick', 'pussy', 'cunt', 'clit', 'asshole', 'fuck hole' etc. however i do worry very much about many of the forms of lasciviousness referred to the the previous paragraph.

Very good observations Des and Cole! In my opinion, the real "pornography" today is glorification of violence, abuse, warfare and political corruption for economic gain and power/control. The worse kind of pornography for me (is then) apathy or quiet acceptance of these transgressions. I have seen too many people lose their lives and/or sanity because they felt too alone against their oppressors, or because they did not live up to the 'systems' rules for being a "member of society". I write/paint (and provoke myself and others through my literary and visual art) in order to constantly ask the question: 'is this really the kind of reality/consciousness we wish to create/have?' It all really does start in the mind; and that is where the changes need to occur. Sometimes this means putting the question 'in the faces' of our audiences in order to awaken the mental/emotional processes, which often have been deadened by the constant onslaught of anti-human values and non-acceptance of those who are different. Of course, this is nothing new. The list of famous writers who have employed this technique throughout history is long, and so-called 'provocation' and the 'anti-art' movement has been popular for decades both in literary and visual/performing arts circles. And I agree: experimentation with style in writing keeps us 'young' and 'throbbing' (mentally, at least).

"If By Chance" - by Nickolas James: a great start .. I look forward to the further development!

Well put Graeme!

Hi guys! Having recently had my AD "debut" with a rather explicit novella ("Entre Nous"), I feel that it is (perhaps) appropriate that I make a comment about both the question at hand and my motivation for writing the story. Firstly, certain parts of the story do arouse me mentally-sexually when I re-read them. This because many parts are based upon actual experiences or long-time fantasies that I have stored on my "mental-sexual hard disk" for many years. This does not necessarily mean that they still function as "jerk off material" for me. However, the sensational and emotional aspects I identify with in the various characters and their predicaments do awaken both memories (albeit fictionalized in the story) and new perspectives based on seeing things from the characters' perspectives (which is something I could not do before actually writing the piece). Secondly, this was not my first time to write about sexual arousal -- but it was the first time to write so explicitly .. and it was planned. The plan (whether the final result is perceived as "successful" or not by readers) was to explore and experiment with the boundaries between pornography and literature .. writing explicitly while still maintaining a psychological/human interplay between characters and an almost "Harlequin romance novel" writing style. I chose to further challenge myself by making the story multi- and intercultural, and multilingual -- this to accentuate the universality of one expression of big city, urban gay lifestyle -- in a state of transition. Lastly, I wished to attempt to challenge my own and the readers' perceptions/judgments of various gay identities and relationships, and overall questions of deciphering confluent aspects of self-identity vs. how "the world" expects us to be -- both as society members in general, but also as gays that are possibly most accepted by greater society with the provision that we fit into the structures and limitations of others. This is the first .. and possibly the last time .. I have/will attempt(ed) something of this sort. It is very much "formula-writing" for me personally, but it was fun to do it just once. And yes, I did get a "tickle" out of reaching into my own experiences and fantasies and revealing them for others' possible pleasure and introspection .. but that is what all of my writing is about, regardless of whether I write about philosophy, human condition and psychological questions or spirituality (all my primary literary themes). I personally feel that it is quite "okay" to get excited (or provoked) by one's own writing and by the writing of another author. That indicates that a "connection" has been established, and that (hopefully) the reader is encouraged to "co-create" art/literature with or as a result of the art/literature presented, or eventually to personally challenge one's own changing perceptions. The life process is a continuum.

This poem has much potential .. keep working on it, and it will soon shine like an exquisitely-cut diamond. I especially like the way you express your emotions and analysis of the situation.

INSIDE LOOKING OUT - alternative voices. Let?s get something straight ... Let?s get something straight ... I am not ?gay?, and this is a One-time thing .. so don?t Go expecting anything more; Don?t say ?hello? to me on The street, at the mall or at the gym; And for God?s sake don?t you ever Tell anyone about this .. (if you know what is best for you.) Agreed? Good! Now ?manhandle? me bitch .... Yeah!!! .. now THAT?s what I?m talking about ........... Still horny. It feels great to be ?in love with love? .. Floating .... with butterflies tickling my insides. Fuck yeah; it feels good .. real good. Keep looking at me .. just like that .... But what is that hard-metal music Thumping and overtaking my body rhythms .. And causing me to jerk uncontrollably? Keep touching me .. just like that .... And why am I sweating from my armpits, Forehead and testicles ? involuntarily emitting The unmistakable scent of natural musk? Tell me: why am I still so damned horny?!! That's fucking awesome dude! Keep doing that .. whatever it is ............ Punk. I want a real lover .. And I want him now. Like Arthur Rimbaud .. or Jean Genet. Not like those pseudo-punks Who have figured in my youth: The uncle who convinced me that I was a ?fruit? and was ?special? Before I even knew what sex was; And the asshole who raped me In his mother?s house ? forcing me To hold my tongue lest she awaken and Call the cops .. and really get me into trouble. Or even the tiresome ?S&M queen? who had An endless supply of sex toys and rubbers, But who became angry when I laughed when He couldn?t ?get it up? .. naturally. I want a real lover .. a ?real punk?; Who can fuck me and suck me, And take what I got ? like a ?man?. I want a real ?punk? .. who is exactly what He says he is; and who couldn?t give a fuck Who else knows that he loves another man. I want a real lover .. Like Arthur Rimbaud .. or Jean Genet. And I want him now. Survivor. Yeah, he?s a survivor ... His alcoholic mother has breast cancer; And his ?dad? left long before He was born. Living in a trailer park Has its perks: no one really Cares if you stay out all night .. Or for days on end, for that matter. Yeah, he?s a survivor ... His sister is an ex-whore; Struggling to stay ?clean? So she can keep her job As a cashier at Wal-Mart. Her loser live-in boyfriend is A ?good-for-nothing? .. A fucking bum who Won?t even bother to recycle Bottles discarded in garbage Receptacles or containers. Yeah, he?s a survivor ... He gets beaten every other day At school; and slapped once-a-week At home. He?s used to it: doesn?t care Any more really, but he has recently Begun carrying a switchblade to see if it Can be a deterrent .. like going to war in Iraq. He dreams of getting a handgun, and is hoping That someone famous will one day pimp his ride. Yeah, he?s a survivor ... He takes his HIV-meds when he remembers. Life is a sweet mixture: sometimes ?heaven?, and oftentimes ?hell? .. depending on the ?high?, the sex .. or the lack of either (or both). A neighbour-punk called him ?faggot? once .. He just smiled ............. causing the asshole To split in haste and fear. Who cares?!! It?s all temporary anyway; what with Global warming, nuclear threats, serial killers And terrorism .. and those fucking ?super malls?. His favourite posters in his room are pictures Of victims: from the second world war, from Natural catastrophes, from terrorist attacks .. Anyone who reminds him that he is one of The lucky ones. Doesn?t matter. For the moment anyway. At least that?s what he thinks when his Mom blasts the old disco hit ?I will survive!? .. The one time in a blue moon when he Sets himself down to do his homework. Yeah, he?s a survivor ... Busted by a banality. I was just about to successfully pull off a ?premature evacuation? when the goddamned computer announced ?You got mail!?; thus waking my sleeping partner. After lying and saying I was just going to get a glass of water, he turned over and returned to his snoring. I sat up awake .. wondering what his important e-mail message was. It was spam, and read: ?We can get you a bigger penis!? I crawled back into bed, quietly singing to myself about the fifty ways..... Instant recall. ?Real? briefly becomes surreal, Through transference; Flashbacks of earlier moments ? Long since filed away on My mental hard-drive: From the first teenage ejaculation to Secret college dorm circle jerks, and More-recent ?delurked? web chats. Our momentary glimpse in passing Awakens all those lost memories And more.......... yeah .. Relentless fever; overtaking us Both ? albeit individually, and Intentionally confined to our own Private memories and fantasies ? We meet .. just for a few seconds .. And briefly exchange a Kaleidoscope of potential Experiences ? fuelled by Instant recall. The remembered scent of my own fresh semen On my genitalia, chest and chin Inundates the moment; And my last thought as our eyes Finally avert one another is: ?Scoop it up!? Fag hag. Whoa dude!!! That?s no fag hag! Jump back .. and kiss yo?self ... No, she ain?t my lover; But she definitely be my ?girl? .. My ?confidante?.. my escort .. My confessor .. my social bodyguard .. And yeah, sometimes even my ?pimp? ... Don?t be fooled: you will not get to me Without undergoing her scrutiny.............. But I do love a guy who is persistent ... That is, if we are at all interested. Heritage ... right! Heritage .... right! So what has your generation Really passed on to me?!! A set of identities that often don?t fit; A world riddled with standardization, Wars, Lies, Plastic reality-show idols, Virus, Global warming, Uncertainty, And all too easy access to drugs ... (that sweet salvation that ultimately enslaves). Sure, I respect what you worked for: A sense of potential, and the Personal freedom to express my ?Right to be me?. But what the fuck does it matter when Individual isolation in an Out-of-control jungle presses me Further inward than you ever were? I won?t give up today?s cyber-existence; But sometimes I really do envy your ?Good old days?............ Heritage .... right! Identity. Don?t be afraid .. And don?t be a bioche, Or a jackass of all trades. Can?t you see that I don?t really Want to have sex with you ...? I want to be loved, and looked up to; And I sometimes want to be you. Am I searching for identity in All the ?wrong places?? Perhaps, But the part I dislike the most is that I will do almost anything to get it. Identity. Gay-ku. ?Fag?, ?queer?, ?homo?, ?gay?: All just labels .. whatever .... How about some sex?!! Sex me up! Sex me up ? real good! I?m following every word In our web chat .. looking For every possible perambulation; All double-meanings and Cleverly-veiled suggestive remarks. But don?t get too direct with me, and I don?t want to know your problems; You must never interfere with My attraction to the fisted fantasy That gives me ultimate satisfaction: The ?other world? you think that we create Together, but which I (myself) Both covet and selfishly desire to own Entirely and solely. You know the rules .. you know the game; Now sex me up ? real good! Copyright "A" (another gay writer), 2007

Hi guys (and gals?)!!! This is a very interesting topic .. which person to write in. I would qualify my comments by prefacing that I have never written a novel, novella or short story entirely in the second person. I have written some successful poetry in the 'second person', but only successful because I managed to create a psychological interplay/dialogue between the minds and behaviours of the character speaking and the object of commentary. However, I could certainly envision the possibility of writing a longer piece of work in the 'second person'. The second person actually is (for me) a distant cousin of the 'first person' in the sense that the first person context enables one (or at least me) to commute between the "real" and the "surreal". I should think that the subjective qualities that can be achieved through second person-writing are somewhat similar; as long as one does not confine oneself to a mere tirade (that is, without reflecting one's own reactions/thoughts/behaviour in a collective perspective). This could -- hopefully -- lend itself to an interesting "stream of consciousness" technique, where the leading voice blends into the subconsciousness of the other voices (or objects of commentary). After all, we are both individuals and parts of different collective groups in society, as well as a collective consciousness. Just some thoughts from: "A" (another gay writer).

I recently overheard a bartender at a gay bar say the following to a customer (circumstances unknown): "I don't think I want to hear anymore .. because if I do, I may have to hold IT against you..."