EleCivil

Funny story behind this one. I wrote this on request for a band back in high school. They wanted to be a political band, but they didn't want to have to watch the news or anything. When I asked what kind of politics they wanted to stand for, the guy I was talking to shrugged and said "I dunno...just put 'Bush sucks' in there." So, I gave them this. They didn't ask me for any more. [False Conviction is the New Pop Sensation] Scratching out reasons for sweet little treasons The charlatan nips at the end Of a half-run-dry ball point conspirator scribe While he?s dreaming up rights to defend For nothing?s less blessed than a complacent vessel With nothing but praise on his lips When there?s flags to be sewn and coups to be thrown And blood for the hands of the rich! So that?s what he writes with no conscience to fight As he sings to his army of fans And he says that last night he saw Joe Hill, all right, With a Little Red Songbook in hand But his own pockets lined with a few easy dimes Was all that his dreams let him see So he screams of the system and rallies against them In his sweatshop-made Guevara tee. Bush sucks!

Loved chapter 8. I was really impressed with Kyle in this chapter - going to start that confrontation took a lot of guts. And balls. Gulls? Yeah...gulls. And I'm really curious about what's been going on with James.

Improvisational stuff, here. I've got a stack of school ID cards ranging from middle school to high school for about four different people (we used to use them as currency/bargaining chips in trades), so I use those most of the time.

Heh. Don't worry about it - I didn't know how to pronounce it when I started using it. Now I read it mentally as "ELL-eh-SIV-ill", but it still sounds awkward to me. Whoa, thanks! I'm a Dom fan, too. Welcome to the board, TTS.

Actually, yeah, I did consider that for a while. The beach-ball riot was based on one that actually happened at my high school, by the way. It got a little more violent, there, though - people started throwing full water bottles at each other, whipping tampons and condoms at the teachers, plenty of fistfights breaking out...rumor was that somebody pissed in a bottle and threw that, but I can't confirm that one. Unfortunately, that was my senior year, right before I graduated, so I never got to see the next assembly to see what kind of security measues they implemented. Haha, yeah. "Betwen the Sheets" still has a following, too. Same with "In the Sack" and "All Night Long". It's a very versitile game.

Thanks, LB! Also, thanks to Ryan for editing this chapter. 8)

Aww...shirt. Again. Next time I write a story, I'm going to try to find an editor. Yeah, disregard that third paragraph. Part of an earlier draft that I thought I had gotten rid of. It's weird - the Nifty version of the story ends up being the better edited one, since readers from AD tell me about typos and misspellings and things like this, that just don't make sense. Thanks for pointing this stuff out!

Aw, shirt. Figures that I'd end up with a typo like that. :roll: Heh...anti-establishment, huh? Yeah, that sounds like a good excuse. "I'm too punx for spellchex." Thanks, Blue and Buddha!

Haha, I saw that a little while ago. Brother-in-law Phil was my favorite, but I loved these, too: -He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. -She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs. -It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

! Cool!

New chapter = sent. For those interested, here's some supplimental material: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hardcore_dancing http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ninja_pit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circle_pit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pogo_%28dance%29 *shrugs* I thought they were interesting reads.

Very cool beginning. I'll be sure to keep reading this.

That's normal. It's good for them to do that, so that they get used to the way phonemes/graphemes work. Easier to apply that than it is to memorize what whole words look like. First comes the phonemic awareness, then comes the bank of sight-words. I agree completely. 'Course, I may be a bit biased, since I just got out of a sixteen-week course where the instructor stated "phonics/phonemic awareness programs are much more effective than whole-word memorization" at least once every day.

Yep, semester's over now, so expect the pace to pick up as far as chapters go. Next chapter should be out next week. As for my education, I learned that "The Role of Phonics in Emerging Literacy" is actually a code name for "How to Bore the Hell out of Thirty College Students" - a practical field-based performace test for college instructors. I think my instructor passed with flying colors.

Hey, thanks everybody! Heheh. Fear not, good sir, for my pen shan't puncture. Um...yea, verily?

Socks, tennis balls, eggs...anything that's relatively small and round will work. Haha, none of us are mechanically inclined, either. We didn't even have a saw. The plans were originally for it to be three feet tall, but the smallest pre-cut lumber we could find was six. Oh, and in non-trebuchet news, I just sent in the next chapter.

Maybe. Depends on whether or not I can borrow a camera from somebody.

New chapter by the end of the week. I meant to finish it up yesterday, but I got kind of distracted. My roommate woke up, looked over and said "Hey...want to go build a trebuchet?" Now, personally, I can't imagine hearing that and responding with anything other than "Hell yes, I want to build a trebuchet." So...no new chapter yet, but on the plus side, there's a seven foot tall seige engine in my driveway.

[Hollow Bones, Better Fit for Flying] He lets his guard down with his eyelids Panting his passions into a pillowcase Painting salt-streaked skylines with his eyes Across what used to be a plain striped pattern His dreams are confusing, contradictory Hollow bones, better fit for flying But unable to stand up to the slightest pressure, And pressure is all he has right now. Calmer hearts, better built for lasting But unable to allow the smallest twitch, And twitching is exactly what he wants tonight. An empty head, better led to resting But unable to use when conscious And come sunrise, his consciousness insists on calling. Hollow bones, better fit for flying Are on his mind the next morning When he steps outside and passes a man Leaning against the side of his building Pounding rusted rhythms against his palm With a length of pipe and whistling Whistling ?Swing Low, Sweet Chariot? And today, he decides not to stop and wonder Who he?s waiting for, or what he?ll do to them And decides, instead, to walk away whistling Carrying the stranger?s song on his breath And spreading him across the city To more people, more chances. Maybe some of them will be on their way out And carry a bit of that man?s spirit with them And his own, as well, as he whistles faster, So that maybe, just maybe, A little piece of every one of them can escape Loosed from a stranger?s lips and let levitate This low-swinging chariot Through crowded heads, better made for matching Those heavy hearts, better built for understanding Its hollow tones, better fit for falling Yet rising up, better still, resounding. -

Great new chapter! The whole scene in the beginning about Peter's problem with Jenny had me laughing - "You know, some cultures define this as a neck." It was a good lead-in to the rest of the chapter, when we find out that everyone else's lives seem to be going to hell. Gives it a nice sense of ballance.

Great chapter! Cody's a cool character - hope to see more of him.

Whoa, really? Heh. I forgot about that. Excuses, eh? Yeah, I got excuses. First, this dude moved in with me, so I've been busy with all of that stuff. Plus midterm tests/projects in all my classes. BUT! Chapter six is done. As well as a chunk of seven. I want to go through and edit it before I send it in, but it's done, and I'm happy with it. I ended up doing an almost complete re-write from the first draft. Draws heavilly on my experiences as a lyricist-for-hire, but not close enough to be "semi-autobiographical" or anything.

Hey, Buddha! Been following this story from the beginning, and like I said on the GA board, I like it a lot.

Yep. I think I've pinpointed exactly what's been bugging me about six. When I was writing L&L, I used a lot of quick cuts between scenes - cuts from not-quite-the-end of one conversation on one day into the middle of a conversation the next day between two completely different people - stuff like that. Only, it didn't bother me so much, since it was in third person. You could kind of assume that while one scene is happening, other stuff is still going on. With first person narration, where it's all coming from the same point of view, it gets to feeling really disjointed after a little while. To me, at least. Yahah. Now that I know what's wrong with it, I can go fix it!

All right, I take it back. I thought this chapter was all but finished, but it still feels too choppy and disjointed to me. I'm going to go back and smooth this sucker out. It'll be a little while longer.