blue

Also, guys, it's fine to call me Ben. I gave up on the Blue name being anonymous long ago, when people began calling me Ben anyway. :) I'll answer to Ben or Blue, either one :) as long as you call me to dinner.

Merkin and Camy, thank you both. I'll look into that. The local PBS TV and radio stations here are among the earliest, if not the earliest, I'd have to look at PBS history. I'm vision-impaired / legally blind, but I tend to read "regular" books. I hadn't thought of checking with PBS volunteers here. Camy, I'll check those. There's another I wrote down in notes that a web/fan film producer/actor had suggested, which I'll look into also. I got back word from my author friend, but unfortunately, contracts with Audible prevent her from accepting fan-produced audio, even excerpts. However, if Audible likes me, it still might work out somehow. Yes, all this means, I'm at Dude's service too, but we haven't discussed anything yet.

So, just out of curiosity, are the ladies lesbians, or the horses? What about those nice gay stallions? Either way, it's a story saddled with mounting tensions. You'll want the plot to giddy up. OK, so I'm enough of a font geek to know that font is recent, just not sure of the name. Hmm, the second one, that plot's gone to the dogs. What kind of a sick puppy would wanna read that? Why, there's whole chunks missing. (Poor Fido! This is what his loyalty gets him? Bite your master, Fido! At least pee on his leg!) The first one...kinda hard to tell if size matters if ya can't see the complete package. The cop seems impressed, though, and it looks like the dog's excited. Must not be the same dog owner as Fido's meanie. Hard to charge a guy with streaking if you can't tell for sure, but all I see is the cap. Hmmmm. Suppose he went skinny dipping?

I've spent part of my evening fiddling with my audio, then doing some unused takes. I'm still not happy with the sound quality and I'm hoping to work out the bugs. In the next few days, I'll be doing audition takes for a Star Trek fan audio drama that's in pre-production. I've done voice work on a couple of Star Trek fan audio podcasts before, and it's been a lot of fun. I will be looking into what Audible.com does about auditioning or hiring readers. This is partly because I want to record some audio for fan enjoyment, from a couple of books by a favorite author. I'm awaiting her chance to think over permission on recording and posting excerpts on that, since I don't want to step on any toes there. But it lead to the idea of recording more, something book length, and so I'm starting to look at that. I did have the contact info for a firm here in town that used voice actors, but by the time I was ready to go see them, something had happened, and I can't find any references. The company had been around a few years and done a lot of work, but apparently, they went belly-up. However, if I can figure it out, there are bound to be other companies here in town that would hire a newbie with amateur experience. Even one-time or sporadic work wold be great. I've enjoyed doing it a lot. Tonight, I spent time fooling with the audio settings, trying to get things right. Win7 does things differently, my current desktop and laptop are both giving me audio results I'm personally not too pleased with, because I've done better. Once I actually got to do takes tonight, it wasn't turning out well, I was tired and spinning my wheels. So tomorrow, after taking care of (yuck) paying bills and then any errands, I'll be fooling with my audio again and recording takes until I'm satisfied I have something I'd be proud to send in. The voice parts aren't big, but they'll be another credit if used, more experience. I can't believe how much time I spent, just to do what I did, but I haven't done any audio work in a while, so this was like warm-up exercises to get moving again. Yes, I'd be thrilled if Audible hired me. I'd be thrilled to get a paying gig, either a one-shot or sporadic parts. I'd be amazed if it could be even a part-time income; I don't expect to make a full-time living at it. No knowing yet how amateur or professional anyone thinks I am. -- Dude and Des have been very kind, but they like me. Others have had some positive comments, which is really nice. I will keep folks posted on what happens, when anything happens. It felt good tonight, even if it wasn't going good enough that I'd want to save the practice takes. Acting and voice work -- Where else can you get paid to make a fool of yourself, have fun doing it, and have people like it? Such a deal!

o_O :rotfl: Thanks, I needed that! Still chuckling. Great!

I like grammar, but I never got the point of how diagramming sentences was really helpful, except to create an unlikely mess of branches on the page, and a lot of eraser dust. English structure doesn't really fit with the underlying logic behind English grammar, to draw it out in any understandable way. The logic is certainly there. But diagramming also tends toward a Latin-based grammar, like the old formal English grammarians tried to push onto English. But English isn't a Latinate language, fundamentally, and isn't heading that way, but away from it. Our high school was lucky to have Spanish, French, and German. Ditto for my junior high. I don't know if they offer Japanese or Latin or any others there now. They do still offer English.

I did say, "darn pixelation." ;p

*snicker* You know, I probably *could* have some fun with her, with that idea. I will give that a little thought. Heh. Gonna get friendly with the Spam and Delete buttons, though. (Aside: Writing one of those wacky articles might be fun, just for a grin. I'm pretty sure that's how the tabloid guys write those "alien baby" articles. Ever notice, the aliens never just stop for tourist photos and souvenirs? Or a potty break or a Coke? Or, y'know, I missed the right turn at Aldebaran....)

I got ticked off. I dug through where I'd saved my reply to her, from the middle of 2007. I hauled off and formatted it and posted it to my site, along with an explanatory note, and with my relatives' (plural) names and emails edited out. Not all my relatives are like my aunt, by far. I've emailed a link to the Dude, in case he wants to link to it, so instead of giving the link here, I'm giving him the scoop.

Bwahahaha! I love it! I learned one thing: I am not using "dongtacularly" nearly enough. Now I have this strange craving for mayonnaise.... Darn pixelation. Darn pixelation....

Warning: Griping and Ranting Ahead, Probably. A few days ago, my Anti-Aunt sent me an email for the first time in quite some time. It was not, however, to say hi, how are you, love you, etc. No. It was another forwarded email about how bad things are and how it's all going to heck in a handbasket. Sigh. Over two or three years ago now, I had emailed her back after a series of such emails finally brought up one telling how all those homosexuals and their gay agenda were trying to recruit and take over our schools, and blah-blah-blah, yadda-yadda-yadda. I emailed her back then saying enough was enough, and pointing out how negative and unloving I thought those were, and...knock it off already, will ya? I told her at the time that I didn't want to see any of those anymore. I said I'd be happy to get personal emails about the family and things, but no more negative, hateful stuff. I got back a reply saying how wrong and un-Christian I was, and she didn't think that was right! (Because I was speaking out, among other things, for tolerance of gay people.) I didn't come out to her. I knew it wouldn't do any good. Fast forward to a few days ago. I got a new email. Flag desecration. Clearly, the country must be coming to an end, was the forwarded conclusion. The world's still going to hell in a handbasket, it seems. I skimmed over it and tried to ignore it, but it stuck in my craw, so to speak. Now, I'm not a fan of spray-painting our flag and throwing it on the ground and stepping on it and so on, as was shown in the many-timew-forwarded email. But what gets me is the negativity, the lack of anything good, the lack of compassion. Where are all the good things in the world? It seems like my Anti-Aunt sees so little good in the world, so little to love. I really don't understand it. Such a shame. What a small little world and a tiny, shriveled heart...and this is my father's older sister, my aunt. Eek. I tried to put the new email out of my mind. No use giving that more energy, it's already getting way too much by people who want to fear and hate, instead of love and enjoy what's good. I recognize I have my own share of darkness of the soul, but that and depression are things I try to fight against. I am, at heart, a dreamer and idealist, an optimist who's seen too often that things are not always so rosy. But I continue to hope and go on, because...well, because I think hopes, dreams, optimism, are the way to be, even if I have my worries or other negatives and spout off at times. I also spout of positively, or I'd like to think so. But her forwarded emails? Ugh. Just bad. Then tonight, I see there's another one. This time, it's against a certain ideology, religion, political mindset seeking to harm the good old USA. Well, again, I'm not ever going to be a fan of someone trying to do that. But I see the headlines like anyone. Must I be reminded of the worst in people? Again, where is the good in life, in my Anti-Aunt's eyes? How very, very sad. -- She has three grown children, all older than me. Two married and have many grown children. Many. They took that "be fruitful and multiply" part very seriously. (Hey, at least they must've enjoyed it, since it happened that often....) Ahem. Anyway, My cousins kids are nearly all grown and some have kids now too. In all that horde of cousins, it is a cinch that...well, given the 10% rule of thumb, it's a cinch that more than one of my Anti-Aunt's grandkids or great-grandkids is probably gay, lesbian, bisexual...queeeeeer. Much like their cousin writing this post. And I hope my first cousins are more enlightened than my aunt, but I really don't know. Now, my parents did not have the same values (and poison pen outlook) as my aunt. My own life grew up with a lot of questioning and struggle to accept my own sexuality. I suspect it's much the same for any of my cousins' kids who might be LGBTQ. I am posting this out of frustration. I need to get it off my chest, is all. I know, at this point, not to expect any better of my poor embittered aunt, who seems unable to see what kind of message she is sending about her view of life. She's now over 80. In a few years at most, she will be at those pearly gates, and I believe she is going to get a huge shock when she finds out that yes, dear aunt, all those homosexuals and all those other terrible people are God's children too, if we're to believe the more positive and loving parts of that book she thinks she is following. (I believe she's got it wrong and needs to reread that a lot more carefully.) Most of all, I'm frusrated and saddened, to see my aunt seems still in this ugly, negative mode, and has restarted sending this...godawful crap...to me again. I am going to consider how or if I will reply, or simply block her emails. I am also very seriously considering digging out my reply back then, if I still have it, and posting it as an open letter on my site. (Minus her name, but my name's on my site.) And yes, my name's on my site. So are several stories and poems that are very unequivocally gay-friendly. My aunt...what a shame she wants to focus on the fear and the hate and exclusion and negativity. -- What a shame, too, that she cannot and will not understand her nephew or probably more than one of her grandchildren. -- How sad she has so misunderstood and so warped the religion of love and mercy and compassion she claims to follow. But I think she's following something very much different than that. I can't understand all that concentrated unhappiness, meanness, in someone. Especially when they are my own family. Oh well, at least she's half a country away. Sorry, Anti-Aunt, but we will never see eye to eye on this. I feel for my cousins' children. Their grandma needs a lesson in love and humanity. Sigh.

What a story. Not everyone can admit he's wrong and ask forgiveness, particularly for something so long ago. It says something good about both of them that one could try, and keep trying for years, to apologize, and that both needed it. It seems like the student grew up to be a man with strong principles. Isn't it funny how who we are as kids is still who we are as adults? We change in some important ways. We outgrow things and change our minds, but in some ways, we are still the same as men and women that we were as boys and girls. There is, of course, also the argument that we are all just overgrown boys and girls, and those of us who don't recognize that are missing something. The line about how some adults are still bratty, spoiled kids and bullies is true, but perhaps those never matured even that far. Heh.

Bad, yes. Especially bad, because so many teachers, and so many special needs teachers, would never act so cruelly or unprofessionally towards a child. Of all my teachers, I can only think of three or four, plus one counselor (!) who were bad in general or in more than a couple of instances. The teachers who did special needs classes or services were about as skilled as they could be at that time. I was in mainstream classes, something my parents fought for, and mostly the right decision. But of course, I knew the other handicapped kids, generally, and sometimes knew the special needs teachers. Usually, a given school is lucky to have one or two special needs teachers or aides for larger class sizes than they can readily handle (much like the mainstream classes) with the exception that those special ed teachers are handling that group of 20 to 30 or so kids out of a school population of at least a thousand. Usually, it's the other students who are the problems. Occasionally, it's a teacher or coach, counselor or administrator who's a problem. But when there is a problem, it needs to be dealt with. The case Des gave the link to? Bad, bad caregiving. Not that I haven't seen bad caregivers. I have, unfortunately. On the other hand, when you have excellent teachers and staffers doing things right, as DKStories relates, that should be praised and encouraged. There were some outstanding teachers and counselors and admins when I went. They went above and beyond for their students, great, caring, talented educators. That's what you want to see for a school. The situation is not easy out there, folks. There is a lot, positive and negative, going on.

I haven't yet brought myself to look at that link. I had a realization recently. I had good, loving parents, mostly. But they were not perfect, I was (and am) not perfect, and our relationship wasn't always perfect. Of course. That wasn't the realization. My parents were overprotective; my mom moreso than my dad, but him too, sometimes. Partly, that was because they were average but smart people from conservative backgrounds, raising a kid who was handicapped and sensitive...and gay...though how much of that bit they knew, or knew how to deal with any better than dealing with the handicapped part, I don't know. They tried to deal well with the handicap. (Eyesight.) Mostly, they did, but they were overprotective. The other? Well, my mileage may vary. My realization was a few of the times that things happened, and they tried to deal with them, and...in retrospect, their solutions were not so positive in those cases. I remember how I felt as a kid and a teen, but looking back now as an adult, I see they...made mistakes in dealing with others...and with me (and maybe with each other) that had effects on me, growing up. One was something I had almost forgotten about, but it came back one morning, waking up, recently. It was strange, that it would occur to me, just out of the blue, waking up like that. There were a few times, I got the message that I couldn't participate, that I'd be kept from being with others my age, usually because the adults (my parents and someone else) didn't agree. (And as a kid, and now, I think my parents were not right, in those cases.) -- Or the message might be, we set the rules and limits, even if you want to do something. Only once did I really get tired of that and put my foot down and say no, you've done this so much, I don't believe you'll follow through and let me keep on, even if you let me start like you're saying now. It meant I actually said no and got away with it. It also meant I missed out on an opportunity, because by then, I'd been pulled out of activities like that either two or three times, and I didn't think it'd last this time, either. (I was in junior high then.) Big argument. One of the few times we really fought. I won, or did I? I was never quite sure how it should've turned out. But I believed if I had, they would've pulled me out of the activity again, like had happened several times before. I was very mad and very insistent...and very disappointed and hurt, too. Looking back, there are a few times I think my parents made mistakes like that. There are also at least a couple of times, I think my mom or dad tried to reach me and do right. They were not bad people or bad parents; they loved me. But...somehow in those couple of times, with them trying to reach me and do right, and help somehow... I was the one who messed up, because I was young and didn't know how (or if) I could respond to that. (Or in one or two cases, because I was struggling with my feelings (being gay and what that was) and I didn't know what to do, how to handle it, or if I could, and so, I missed a couple of chances, just ordinary stuff, or having fun, or talking. I'm rambling around, I know, but my point, I guess, is that, growing up, we do things ourselves without understanding the consequences, and our parents do things, also without understanding quite why they're doing what they're doing. Right or wrong, good or bad, outcome positive or negative. **it happens. Yes, in mulling over things when they came up recently, I had to think how clearly my parents had made some mistakes that shaped me (negatively) in ways they, and certainly I, didn't know about. If they'd known better, they would've done better, but they didn't, they thought they did know better. ...And they were just people, bumbling through like any parents, trying to do what they thought they should. I also had to see that I'd done some things, growing up, that meant I'd made some mistakes that shaped me too. What if I'd done differently? What would have changed, and what would I be like? But of course, being that kid or teen, I didn't know any better, and I did what I thought at the time, which might've been the only viable choice, or maybe not. It was, though, the choice I made at the time, or how events took place. But yeah, our parents' support or lack of it, and our own maturity or immaturity growing up, sure does shape things, and we then have to learn or unlearn, when we grow up. I dunno, life is weird.

I've found a FREE ebook in the "animal covers" technical series from O'Reilly Press. This is a FREE EXCERPT from a book. FREE: Garrish, Matt. Accessible EPUB 3. O'Reilly Press. Slogan: "Best Practices for Creating Universally Usable Content." EXCERPT FROM: Garrish, Matt. EPUB 3 Best Practices. O'Reilly Press. * This excerpt covers accessibility, the practice of making content in multiple media easily accessible to users with varying physical and cognitive abilities, both ordinary and more pronounced levels.

With all due respect.... Time outs? Sit on a bench outside the principal's office? When did you last visit even a big suburban or city school, much less an inner city school? It *might* work in that suburban school. It would *not* work in the inner city school -- at all! I went to schools in a district on the edge of the big city. Nice, fairly new elementary school at the time, "open concept" 1970's thing. (The "open concept" did not work, too distracting and open, they began undoing that in the 80's.) Also nice junoir high, not as new. (Renamed a "middle school" long since.) Well established high school, recent enough at the time, since added one or two wings to the campus. That was over 25 years ago since I graduated. Still one of the best districts in the state, education and economy-wise. Demographics as mixed as anywhere in my city, race, etc. completely tossed salad melting pot. Since then: * Increasing presence of drugs, beyond the few kids high when I went. (One attempted to fly out a window, did not make it, while I was in high school.) * Progress: A GSA was started during the time AwesomeDude's site has been around. -- Homosexual or gay did not appear in my student handbook at all. * School uniforms. We didn't have uniforms, we dressed like normal, but with a dress code. (When I went, kids were sent home for those New Wave and Punk styles. Can't imagine the twitching if a kid had come in with a Kulture Klub look, and Goth wasn't really on the radar yet....) * Metal detectors. Yes, apparently my old high school has those. But to be fair, more than one kid had brought a handgun in his/her backpack by then. * I still remember back in Desert Storm, turning on the evening news to see army personnel, male and female, forming up in my old school "cafetorium" to be shipped out to the nearest two forts and airbases for deployment. Seeing fully armed soldiers in fatigues in formation in my old cafeteria? Surreal. Didn't help that I had two cousins in service branches at the time, either. What I am trying to say is, the present-day school system, even in a relatively mild environment like my old school district, is not like it was when you or I grew up. I'm not even citing the examples from a couple of local teachers, middle school aged kids who'd hide under desks, because when you're from the projects and your home life includes drug addicts and gang violence, this seems like a reasonable thing, or kids older who have worse problems, are there. If even the smart kids in your school know to be on guard and show they are tough, and be on the lookout against some gang member or other threat, you are dealing with a much different system, mindset and physical realities, than simply saying no and go to the principal. What will actually happen? The bright kid might do it or might simply go home. The real problem kid may decide to beat your ass, cut you, or do a runner, especially if he has priors. Note I am not making assumptions of skin color or other things there, because hey, no matter what color skin the kids have, they are, where I grew up and where I live now, living within a few blocks of each other at most, or right next door, or possibly in the same house, or in the same body, multi-racial. (And yes, this includes friends and a few relatives.) I'm not trying to pick a fight, either. I am simply trying to say, today's school and neighborhood realities are *not* like the 80's, 70's, 60's, or 50's. We live in the era of texting and cyber-bullying and sexting, as much as the era of school districts that are underfunded, understaffed, and vastly overpopulated, and with home and neighborhood situations that might be white-bread or slum-lord friendly, either way. I'm also *not* condoning a teacher or admin wailing the tar out of an elementary school child's little butt, even if that kid has been a major brat. There are better ways to deal with discipline. I am not altogether opposed to corporeal punishment, but it is a last resort, used in a specific way to get across that there are physical consequences for bad behavior. If a kid has done something totally out of control, it's likely corporeal punishment is beyond what would help, anyway. And if it is used, it should be limited. -- Corporeal punishment was occasionally used, usually against boys, up through when I was in junior high, and those coaches and principals were not kidding around with it. Was that a good idea, was it right, given whatever the boys had done? Was it too extreme, did the punishment fit the crime? Generally not. -- I'll also say, my parents stopped spanking me when I was somewhere around kindergarten age, and switched to lectures and privileges and grounding. Reason: Words and reasoning worked better, at least for me, and they didn't want to discipline when they themselves were angry. I'm just saying, the world is much different today. The kids today have to live in it and make some sense of it, the same as the parents and teachers. It isn't always any one group's fault, either. If your school lacks textbooks or lacks funding to make repairs to bathrooms, lighting, building structures, water and heating/cooling, can you be surprised the kids are not in the best learning environment? In an area where it could be beyond unhealthy not to be the toughest mo****-fu**** in the neighborhood, even if you're the brainiest kid in class, and the local dealers make more than anybody working two honest jobs, like at Mickey D's, is it surprising that is not the best disciplinary environment either? The real wonder is that many kids *do* learn, go on to college or jobs, and become successful, caring adults, despite what they deal with at home and in the neighborhood. Respectfully submitted dissenting viewpoint, here. My current subdivision is halfway between one of the wealthiest and one of the poorest parts of town. I live in an older middle class subdivision inside the loop, that was built in the 50's and 60's. Most of my neighbors are about 20 years or more older than me. I'm one of the new younger people coming in after the original owners have retired, moved away, or passed away. My own neighborhood is completely mixed in almost any demographic, except skewed to the over-60 age some, and with the white folks in that over-60 bracket tending to feel uncomfortable about those people with not as pale skin tones. (Such as the neighbor who picked up the Spanish newspaper off my lawn, saying of course I wouldn't want *that*. I was too stunned back then to object. Now, I'd snatch it back and read it aloud to her!)

In many school districts across the country, certainly in the city where I live, teachers and admins cannot use corporeal punishment anymore, and have not been allowed to do so for several years now. But then, neither can they nor the kids hug each other. The former might or might not be a good idea in certain cases. The latter, I think, is a bad idea and entirely too paranoid, in danger of setting up the very anti-social behaviors and lack of emotional fullness and maturity that they seek to avoid.

Way to go, kid! -- Dang, I don't think I can dance as good as that two year old!

One of the clips there is from two of my hometown's news anchors, both of whom are still at that channel, I think. We still have so far to go before equality and the lack of fear of what people don't understand because they don't think they're familiar with it. I want to live in a world where there is acceptance and love instead of hate and exclusion and telling people like me we cannot be who we are. Separate is not equal. Second class is not classy for either side. We can, and should, be better as a society. Until we are, our society isn't right or just. But what really matters is, people are being excluded so much that some are hurt, killed, or do harm to themselves. That must not continue. There must be change. I want something better in my lifetime, for myself and for others. Why do people want to hate and exclude and forbid, when no one is asking them to love someone of the same sex, but merely to accept that someone else does? Why should LOVE be a thing to be denied, hated, feared, forbidden, excluded? Why are so many so willing to be blinded to this, to believe without trying to understand? I ask as someone who sought to understand his own feelings, who was brought up that those feelings were not right somehow. And yet, there they are, real and undeniable, feelings for the same sex, instead of for the opposite sex. I had to unlearn in order to go forward. I'm still learning. -- I wish others were willing to understand, even if they don't have those same feelings. People must change, or there will be too many more heartaches and too much lost potential for good, for love, for acceptance and growth.

So he is four years younger than me, and Growing Pains aired from my freshman/sophomore year of college until I restarted in community college on my associate's degree. ....Cradle-robber.... Even that four years difference would've meant that anytime I noticed he was good looking, cute, handsome, etc., would've creeped him out. Don't worry, he wasn't really on my radar. I did see photos or episodes and think he was cute, but nothing much beyond that. *I* would've been too creeped out at that point in life to admit I liked how another boy looked.... And at that time, calling another boy "cute" who wasn't some cute little kid, would also not have been something I would've done. Not saying I was well adjusted at the time. That was my "religious, upright, maybe I can wish/pray it away" stage in life. Note: I can tell you that does NOT work. That was, in fact, the time in life I discovered (surprise) I really was gay, no matter what I thought about it, it wasn't going away, it was pretty insistent, in fact, and if I tried to ignore it and not do anything while awake, it'd take care of itself in my dreams. I also discovered dating girls was not going to ignite that spark and they knew it better than I did. Fortunately, I eventually realized living that way, denying the truth inside, was not going to work and not going to make me happy. It's better to accept yourself and acknowledge the truth inside, whether you "come out" to others or not. You can figure out how and when and to whom to come out to, when it's right for you. I'm sorry Kirk Cameron's so opposed to gay people and thinks it's "unnatural" and all. If it was so unnatural, then why did I first start really noticing it at 11, and why did kids tease or bully me about it before that age? I grew up in a good, church-going Christian home and I was a "good boy," but I was still just as gay (and just as unsure what to make of that when I started noticing) as any other gay boy ever was. The thing is, of course, that if we get an upbringing that doesn't tell us we're wrong, sinful, unnatural, and all that, then we actually can grow up comfortable in our own skin about it, with other people who are equally comfortable showing that love. Sorry, Kirk. You may believe something, but it doesn't mean it is true or you are right. -- I would suggest instead, rereading the passages about love for others, and perhaps Jesus' comments to the Ethiopian eunuch, or about love and respect for others, whether you agree with them or not. He likely wouldn't know what to make of Graeme's story, New Brother, with its quote of a few Bible passages. I think I'm due to reread Graeme's story.

I'm not going to apologize for Kirk Cameron, because I think he's wrong. Heheh. But I do think we should remember a key point or two which may explain some of his beliefs, beyond that he converted to a very fundamentalist, evangelical, and "left behind" brand of Christianity. Back in the 1980's a very young teenage Kirk Cameron was cast in a role as a wholesome and handsome boy next door, the kind of boy any boy would want as a friend and any girl (and some boys) would want for a boyfriend. And yes, his best friend in the show was named Boner, presumably for an ability to get in trouble and be a klutz, a bonehead, rather than, well, you know. And Kirk Cameron was good looking indeed, very handsome, cute, etc. and personable on TV. And of course, he was marketed as such, as a celebrity besides his role on the show. Photos of him in very fashionable 80's clothes (or open shits, etc.) were common. He was popular and the girls (and some of the boys) went wild. (I remember that "Miami Vice" look with the jacket and all, more on that in a separate thread. Maybe.) Well... at that time, he got a lot of unwanted attention from the girls wanting his teenage heartthrob bod. And he got an amount of unwanted attention from some boys too. And apparently, from some mention I can't recall, from adults, male and female, who were not shy about what they'd like to do with young Mr. Cameron. Now imagine if you are just some teenage boy acting in a TV sitcom and previously mostly unknown, and going along with the media marketing stardom machine. And it's kinda cool, probably. Your male ego probably likes the attention some, right? But then you are getting weird mail and comments and questions and photos and such. And...what the heck...from other males...wanting to do things you, as that teenage boy, probably wouldn't dream of saying out loud, in public, to someone you'd never actually met...and it's very, very explicit...and in his case, he's (as far as we know) straight, not inclined (at least not comfortably) towards other boys / males, and not towards some older guy...or girl, for that matter, but from an older guy, or even a guy your age when you've never had that before...wouldn't that kinda creep you way the heck out? If you had plunked me down in the celebrity fishbowl when I was the ages he was during Growing Pains (or the age I actually was during the show) then if you'd had me get mail like that, and up close and personal comments -- it wold have creeped me out, big-time. -- And unlike young Mr. Cameron at the time, I was at that age aware that I liked other boys, but unsure what to make of it all...and struggling with wanting someone to talk to...or do other things besides talk, perhaps...and conflicted about that too, heh. So I can see how some fairly typical but highly photogenic teenage boy like him might have developed a strong dislike or fear of gay people. -- Why he'd be so against that and not likewise so against the advances of the young ladies and not so young ladies probably has to do with the fact that he is biologically and emotionally attracted to the opposite sex, either exclusively or at least a lot more so than he is to, uh, boners. And no, none of it excuses his being hateful back towards gay people. I'm trying to remember the exact years Growing Pains was on, but it would've been during my high school and college years. The reruns were still on well after my college years. And yeah, I remember seeing him and thinking how good looking he was back then. Hubba-hubba. -- And see, that very comment would've likely freaked him out, as close in age as I think we are. (Can't recall exactly, looking it up.) -- And back when I was in high school (or college) I would not have dared say that hubba-hubba out loud, either. :: Looks around furtively. :: Not that there weren't rumors and questions about young Blue, even so. [ sarcasm ] So possibly all those unexpected and inexplicable comments and mail and gossip probably offended him when he was a teenager, and have colored his later views. -- By that argument, should we then be glad he is not also dead set against the attentions of and the actions of the ladies? -- Why, you can't have all those girls fornicating! Not with anyone! No guys and girls fornicating! No guys and guys fornicating! Nobody can have sex at all! How horrid! They'd better not grab their boner or their buddy's boner either! Oh no! :: Poor guy, can't you just see him twitching and running off into the wilderness? -- Hey, guy, I'll bet those fig leaves itch around your personal bits somethin' fierce, you know? [/ sarcasm ]

Oh, I'm curious how he's going to answer that one without major embarrassment or getting too, ah, detailed or graphic descriptions of, hmm, applications of bodies in motion, action and reaction, and so on. I'm just glad I'm not the one having to answer that one. Hahahah, good luck! I can say, though, that conversations among women that I've heard, regarding men, love, sex, relationships... the women can get just as shocking as the men, lemme tell ya. Wow, y'all are discussing all this in public, with me in hearing range? (Including when I was a much younger Blue in high school and college, but later years too.) Let's say women, even polite women, do not mince words about some things. Daaaanngg.... (And I couldn't have dared say anything like that around them, or my name would've been mud.) Ah, the double standard has a double standard! :laughs: Should I make popcorn and sit back and watch the goings-on?

Some of us also speak multiple flavors of Uber Geek. ;) Depending on how you define Uber Geek, it might even apply to most of us. ...But Semi-Geek and Not-So-Geek pplz are nice too, kinda cuddly sometimes, in that not-quite-ready-to-be-cuddly sort of way. But really, a cuddle-ability scale is outside the scope of this particular thread; same for huggability. But those are sure nice.

You asked also how CoffeeCup's HTML Editor could help with SVG. SVG 1.1 is a W3C open web standard, as are HTML and CSS, and like HTML, SVG is text-based. So, although it's going about it the hard way, you can code things as SVG code, or go in to an SVG graphics file and see or tweak the code. Techie Note: I had to find something uber-geeky to get SVG files to display from my site, despite that the major browsers all support it now. -- The mimetype for SVG had to be added so the hosting company's servers would serve it properly.

I've tried installing my old Freehand (*.FH11, Macromedia Freehand MX) on both desktop and laptop, but it gets to the step to go to Macromedia's website to verify and register, and of course, there is no such site anymore. It refused to install either. Friends have recommended Inkscape, http://inkscape.org/ for vector drawing. Inkscape works and saves directly into SVG. I don't think it can read/write .ai or .FH11 files, but at this point, I'm stuck redoing files anyway. (You really don't want to see how Illustrator tries to import Freehand files.) Every FH file I've tried to import requires minor or major cleanup or redoing portions, to the point you're basically redoing it from scratch anyway. This is maddening. My own work, work I did for AD and CW, other volunteer work, old client files, anything I'd want to put in a portfolio.... Exporting to SVG of a gradient mesh gives you a PNG stuck in your SVG code. Importing a Freehand "contour gradient" results in a huge group of stacked objects with stroke-widths and clipping masks that is...unbelievable, and that's what goes into the SVG. Exporting a "blend" of two or more objects likewise gives you anywhere between 25 and 256 or so shapes stacked and grouped. Illustrator exports round-rectangles not as a rectangle with rounded corners (which SVG has) but a path. Gradients and paths get coded in absolute pixels instead of percentages or offsets, and sometimes include inexplicable "matrix transforms" off the canvas.... Uh, in other words, it's just a complete gawdawful mess to wade through. -- I don't really want to look at source code for vector drawings, but there are times when, for SVG, you need to. My worst-case scenario: I had tried Adobe's 3D Effects filter on a simple shape (outline for a salt shaker). The resulting .ai file ended up over 2MB and the SVG file was at least 1 or 1.5MB. Yet the effect filter offered no way to go from the shape you started with to the filter's output 3D shape, to perhaps flatten or simplify it. The image was really wonderful, but I wouldn't be able to use the vector art. It would have to be output as PNG. I bought, but haven't used, Corel Draw late last year. I never was a Corel Draw user. But it gives me a possible alternative. Maybe. Understand, I'd say I'm at master level with Freehand. There was a time when Illustrator's and Freehand's interfaces were very similar. (Shortly after that, Macromedia sued Adobe over it and won. Shortly after that, Adobe bought Macromedia....) Heck, I used Freehand back when it was by Altsys. Likewise for PageMaker. But -- I absolutely cannot justify (or afford) the "upgrade" from CS4 Web Premium to CS5.5 and upcoming CS6. The upgrade cost for registered users for the suite is at least $600 to $1200. I've spent hours trying to learn how Illustrator does things, and most of the time, I can't easily get to something, or it won't do what I want. (The kicker was when recently I thought I'd finally gotten something simple in editing curves, only to find the next three days, it no longer worked.) I don't want to use a tool that is a constant source of frustration to what should be a simple design task, on so many coomon actions. The CS4 online help and in-app help? Almost always useless, because it's almost always simply obvious, what you'd try anyway as an experienced user. What got me was a few things that were so non-obvious, I never would've thought to try them that way, on commonly used things like gradients. I got tired of trying to use a bad tool for a job that should be *fun* too. What's surprised me is reading how very many designers / graphic artists feel the same and are searching for alternatives, both for features and pricing, whether long-time Illustrator users or Freehand users. So, that's where I'm at with it. :( Very, very frustrated and dissatisfied. I *have* backups of nearly everything I've done for several years, in Freehand. (I hope I can find the old Macintosh Fontographer files on some backup medium I can still read, but that's not likely. This was back when SyQuest cartridges and iomega Zip disks were around, before you could get a CD-R or CD-RW drive, generally.) But those Freehand files are largely unusable to me now, or so much time to convert, it almost is better to redo them. I've been going through and importing and saving as .ai anyway, in case. Yeah, not a happy camper at all. -- And if I land a job at some firm, rather than creating my own job, I may still have to use Illustrator. (Hey, the CS4 suite is on my laptop and I have the box/discs, if I have to.) But for now, Inkscape is likely the way I'm going. -- Inkscape is open source and free, like LibreOffice and OpenOffice.org, and like GIMP. (Aside: It's possible OpenOffice.org may indeed go proprietary and not free, or even in-house, from the scuttlebutt going around after the split that resulted in LibreOffice.) CoffeeCup's products are all *very* reasonably priced, fast and solid upgrade cycle, good support and treatment of their customers, and they are equal to what HomeSite did and fast approaching something about equivalent to DreamWeaver 2 or 3. Very satisfied there. There are a few things I wish their software did, but it's complete enough I haven't used DW in months.