I can understand both sides as I am sure most of us can. Its hard and some people in life are just ignorant. I'm 22, so I'm really not a kid nor would I call myself an elder(or let anyone else ). I'm still not really out but over the last year I've started to take steps. I can't or won't look down on anyone who chooses to hide, how can I? I lived with the fear and let it control for along time. Every single choice I made from the age of 11 until 20 was based on hiding myself. It crippled me and I didn't even know it.
I realized I was gay when I turned 11, I really didn't understand it or like it or myself for along time. Then one day I almost came out to my best friend who I knew since I was 4, we were in 7th grade and watching a repeat of "My so called life" where the gay kids comes out to his friends, I asked my friend what he would do if "so and so" a mutual friend said he was gay and my friend said "I'd punch him and never talk to him again". now looking back on it if he would have asked me I may have said the same thing, but his words scared the hell out of me and really messed up my thinking for along time. By time I was a Junior in High school I had stopped hanging out with any of my friends and became anti-sociable. I spent all my time away from school in my room or at work. By time I graduated I had no real relationships in my life and believe it not was happy that way, less work in hiding myself.
When I turned 20 I started hanging out with my brother a found out he actually had two very good gay friends and I realized what a moron I was, and at work I met guy(straight ) that I just fell hard for, and that was the final push I needed that really showed me how dead my feelings were and I needed to make changes or I'd never be happy. So as I said in another post I told my brother, have met and made friends of a few gay guys and girls, and hoping to tell my Mom in the next few weeks. For the first time since I was 10 I am happy, but as scared, alone, and just miserable as I was, I didn't even know it and it took events to wake me up, and if they didn't happen I may still be playing dead.