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While I found the subject a little odd on a site dedicated to young (and not so young), gay readers, the story is well-written and points out some of the shallowness of a gay culture. I particularly liked the very last part of the last paragraph: "...where sexual identity means more than it's worth." 8)

Nicely done.


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Guest rusticmonk86


why did you think its placement on the AD server was odd?

i'm very pleased to see that ex-gay was published. for a number of reasons.

1. Ex-Gay. Look at it. This story would have never been accepted on any of the other sites that claim to be for "bi" people, too. It would have been considered too contraversial, too graphic. I can see the high-brow fags raising their noses right now.

2. I'm 19 AND gay. Plus, I wrote that story. So even though it may not be for the younger audiences. I was positive that mature readers like yourself would be able to take something from it. ;)

3. It needed to be said. There are so many straight guys who get insecure around gay guys. Well, here's the reversal. A story about a gay guy who turns straight. And yeah, the last paragraph ties into this point.

Besides, I intend to be challenging and contrary. So, even if that comment did irk me a little, it still makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

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Whoa. I didn't mean to irk you and I'm hardly a "high-brow fag'. :o

I applaud 'dude's' decision to publish and highlight your story. It is a little contrary to the mission statement heading above the home page:

"Stories By, For and About Gay and Bi Young People."

I understand that you fall into the "By" category. And your story's POV certainly needs to be examined.

Look forward to reading more of your stories.

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I'm not clear on why Ex Gay doesn't fall into those categories, JS. And I'd love to be a high-brow fag but figure I'm too pedestrian to pass.

Falling into the 'By' category is easier than the 'Bi' category, and that might be what Gabe's talking about. Either way, I liked it, as I've told him. I found it interesting and slightly creepy. :lol:



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I read this thread before going on errands this morning, and I didn't have time to reply. I've just now reread it, and I'm glad I had the extra time to think and reread.

Jack Scribe, your second reply could be taken to read as a pan of the story and a jab at Gabe, from one angle. Or, from another angle, and I had to read it the second time to see it that way, "OK, now I see what you were getting at, and I'm OK with it."

The "Drawn From Life" stories or essays are intended to reflect either an author's own experiences, or those he or she has seen in others. They are to hold a candle up to some part of life and have us as readers take a closer look at them, whatever the thoughts and feelings that are presented.

I'd like to defuse any further moves towards any of us snapping at each other.

Also, some readers may not have understood the approach that the story was taking. Gabe could answer that better.

I'd urge readers to take another, more careful look at the story. Look at what's below the surface. Gabe isn't only talking about a narrator who's decided he's "ex-gay."

Sometimes an author uses irony or negatives to point out the opposite approach or the flaws that are in an argument. An author may present a special case to point out what various groups haven't voiced. An author may write a story that presents a difficult problem, in order to foster debate. These are usually called, "controversial pieces."

Some things to think about:

-- There are certainly many more questions, and readers should ask themselves what others there are.

-- I'm not particularly expecting one answer or another, nor a written reply to the questions. I think they're more something each person should answer for him- or herself.

    [*]Do people (gay or not) place too much emphasis on only the sexual in a relationship?

    [*]When people say "straight" or "bi" or "gay" relationship, do people automatically focus on the sexual orientation, and think that the relationship is only about sex, and not about other things, including very ordinary daily living?

    [*]Is a person's sexual orientation static, or can it change somewhat, particularly in adolescence?

    [*]Can a person love one person one way, and love another person another way?

    [*]Can a person have straight as well as gay relationships, over time?

    [*]Can a person who is gay have a committed relationship with someone who is straight? (I know some people do.)

    [*]If a person has had any same-sex experience, does that mean he or she is "really" gay instead of straight? -- Careful!

    [*]Do straight people assume too easily that someone should be straight?

    [*]Do gay people assume too easily that someone should be gay?

    [*]Can a person who has same-sex feelings ignore or suppress them? Is it alright if they do? Is it up to us to judge their choice?

    [*]If someone truly believes it's wrong to be gay or act on it, then must we say they are wrong, or can we respect their beliefs, even if they may not respect ours?

      Those are off the top of my head, and they are hardly an exhaustive list of all the questions a reader might ask after reading "Ex-Gay." (I'm sorry if the list was exhausting, though.)

      Gabe's story requires readers to think about it afterward. I think that's a fine thing for any written piece to do.

      Dude and the moderators here, which includes Gabe, are all positive in support for GLBT youth and adults. Please don't take the story, "Ex-Gay," as a condemnation of being a gay person. It is, instead, a call for all of us who support GLBT and questioning people to consider our opinions carefully and fully, and work for the most positive outcome for us all.

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Very good story. :)

For me, personally, I think your story challenged stereotypes and perceptions we all have of people. Even within the LGBT community there are some who stereotype others within the same community. Lest we forget, sexuality is fluid and it can change throughout one's lifetime.

I think it's fresh, straight-forward (no pun intended), and a good read.



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Once again Gabe has written something to make readers think. And comment!

I think this is a good and healthy discussion. Certainly somebody crossing the line between gay and straight would fall into the 'bi' catgory in my book.

Gabe's approach to things is always fresh and unconventional and he almost single-handedly has pressed forward our policy at AD of pushing the envelope while -at the same time- covering a wide variety of stories which might appeal to all types of readers.

And from the emails I get, you'd be surprised how catholic in taste (small 'c' intended) many of our readers are.

Now don't quote me on this -ahem- but there are some hanging around the back stairs at AD who think the story should have gone into the 'Drawn From Life' section. :roll:

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Guest rusticmonk86

:: beams ::

It's true. I do push the envelope. And, yes, it also is true that Ex-Gay could have been put into the "Drawn From Life" category along with "PRIDE". But Ex-Gay deviates from reality in such a way that I would feel uncomfortable representing it as semi-non-fiction. (A million little pieces.)

Thanks for the in-depth, Blue. I'm glad you touched upon the topics and asked the questions I was hoping you would ask.

Johnny, I'm planning to write a story about transgender next.

TR, Mr. Editor. :D

Thanks to Dude. He puts up with my shit.

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I have to apologise because I still haven't gotten around to reading this story, but in comment to the above, labels are important in that they help us put a discussion in context, but they can also distort and hide information because there are always cases that don't fit those labels.

Using myself as an example, I consider myself to be gay, not bi. However, I'm in a monogamous heterosexual relationship, which many people would think makes me straight....

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Using myself as an example, I consider myself to be gay, not bi. However, I'm in a monogamous heterosexual relationship, which many people would think makes me straight....

Sleeping in a garage doesn't make you a car, Graeme. :lol:


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Sleeping in a garage doesn't make you a car... :lol:

Funniest line I've read all week!

And as for me, I'd quote from Paul Simon: "I'd rather be a hammer than a nail." (I'm not quite sure how that relates to cars and garages, but I've also been working for 30 hours straight, so cut me some slack.)

I did read the story, and to me, it works as satire (which I assume was how it was intended). It's the opposite side of, "hey, I'm a straight guy, had a gay fling, and realized maybe that's what I really prefer after all. I have no problem with it.

At the same time, I sometimes tend to roll my eyes when I have to deal with a few of my close friends and acquaintances who are bisexual. I'm reminded of the old saying that says "bisexuals are just gay people who can't make up their minds." :)

And yet: both of my novels on this site have characters that are various shades of gray, black, and white in terms of sexual orientation. There's people who are mostly gay, some who are mostly straight, a few that are 100% one way (and not the other), and just a few who are firmly in the middle. Life's like that. Maybe it's good that there's more seasonings out there than just salt and pepper.

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As usual the Monk's writing is as powerful as ever. I have absolutely no problems with the story- it is technically excellent.

The difficulty I had was with the protagonists malleable sexual orientation. Whether it is just the differences in the way my head works and/or my experience with people-- I'm not sure. His emotions and actions confused me.

Usually I can relate to a character on some level but this protagonist mystifies me. It was a bit like being on safari and watching the habits of some rare, wild creature on a river bank. You may have heard that they can eat water buffalo whole in one bite, it's just hard to believe it until you've seen it.


Thanks Gabe- you've given me something to think about.

:geek: :cat:

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Guest rusticmonk86


I was shocked the first time I came in contact with an ex-gay. :: shivers :: IT WAS SO WRONG!

This story could have been worse, too. I could have included the G-O-D.

Oh man, I'm nauseous.

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