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Morning After Shocker: Bush Asks For Do-Over


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http://www.borowitzreport.com/

Bush Asks For Do-Over

Offers to Fire Rumsfeld

In the wee hours of the morning after American voters swept his party from power, President George W. Bush made an extraordinary appearance on national television to ask the national electorate for a "do-over."

Millions of viewers were tuned into televised Election Night coverage when Mr. Bush, using the nation's Emergency Broadcasting System, interrupted those telecasts to make a direct appeal to the American people.

Looking unshaven and unsteady, and occasionally slurring his words, the president implored the American people to invalidate the results of last night's election and vote again.

"I grew up with the great tradition of do-overs on the golf courses of Greenwich, Connecticut," Mr. Bush told the American people. "And what's good for golf is good for democracy."

Mr. Bush said that if the American people would grant him a do-over, he would gladly fire Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, referring to his longtime Cabinet member as "that loser."

Across the country, voters registered shock and astonishment at the unorthodox speech by Mr. Bush, many of them troubled by the president's decision to appear on national television wearing only a stained undershirt.

One hour after the president's address, Democratic National Committee chairman Howard Dean delivered the official Democratic response: "He must be on crack."

But minutes after Mr. Dean's appearance, Mr. Bush interrupted the networks' broadcasts once more, raising the ante in his bid for a do-over: "All right, I'll fire Cheney's ass, too, but that's my final offer."

Elsewhere, among the many who lost once-secure positions yesterday were Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Penn), Sen. Lincoln Chaffeee (R-R.I.), and Britney Spears' husband Kevin Federline.

http://www.borowitzreport.com/

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Okay TR. Thanks for the post, but now I, and countless others who are not privvy to US news 24/7, need to know if you posted this as a joke, or if it is true. Did that really happen? No joking around, please. I want to know.

Bart

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Okay TR. Thanks for the post, but now I, and countless others who are not privvy to US news 24/7, need to know if you posted this as a joke, or if it is true. Did that really happen? No joking around, please. I want to know.

Bart

It's not a joke, it's Borowitz (as link states) and, as such, is political commentary aka 'Views'. Andy Borowitz is not comedy club act, he's one of the most amazing political commentators currently working, in my opinion. He's the winner Of The First-Ever National Press Club Award For Humor. Andy Borowitz, Al Franken and The Onion, to name just three, are insightful, valid views on news, just Op Eds with a twist of lemon.

Trab, you've the same access as I do to US News...here on the Internet. I don't watch television and rarely read hardcopy newspapers (and was recently lectured for that at a local Latino political meeting) but I do read the news online and am subscribed to email newslists that are mostly open to anyone.

So, is what true? That a lot of Republicans lost their seats, and their pants, last night? Yes, it's true. Would Dubya like a Do-Over? You betcha. Is Andy Borowitz dot com a great way to experience US news? No question; I love that man, would have his babies in a heartbeat.

If you want more detailed coverage of election results, I recommend CNN, NPR, the NYT and many other news sources that can be located via Google, etc. In 'my' state, alas, most Republicans retained their seats, including Governor Rick Perry. I did my bit: I voted, protested, wore stupid buttons and participated in some minor campaign grunt work, though should probably have done more.

The question is, will 2008 campaigns slogans ask that you 'Don't Blame Me, I Voted Republican'? I have mixed feelings about this year's election results. I'd almost prefer to just give the b*stards a bit more rope...

Kisses...

TR :icon_geek:

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To answer more directly: Borowitz is satire and opinion, and as such, is not strictly factual.

Think of it as political or editorial humor on any number of topics; a written version of The Daily Show or similar programs.

No, Pres. Bush didn't usurp the Emergency Broadcast System for an unshaven, desperate plea. However, the thought might've crossed his and other Neo-Republicans' minds last night. ;)

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