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Guest Rustic Monk

The Little Engine that Crashed and Burned

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Guest Rustic Monk

The Little Engine that Crashed and Burned

Gabriel Duncan

Wait a minute,

I’m not done yet

How you gonna jet

You were the one

Who helped this wound infect

You just dropped the warhead

That sits in everybody’s pantry

The kind of cemented deniability

Even hubris can’t feed

So mortgage your reason

‘Cause it only comes in red and green

And you can get it for half off

If you drink a couple 40’s

It’s perfect for Christmas

Or any occasion

Drop yourself a line

You don’t need a reason

Use it on your enemies

But lovers are even better

It’s easier than a voice-mailed,

“Dear John,” letter

If I’m a waste of time

Even more than the pills

Then I’ll leave with mine

My life and its stills

Until they fade

We never made it

You got high

And I got jaded

So what’s the point of being taken

If you’re never getting taken back

Perforated while you’re unshaken

You force me to detach

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I truly hate to say this, but..."I don't understand even the tiniest bit of what you've said. I'm at a complete loss."

I'm fairly much at a loss too, though by reading it aloud I got a lot out of it.

I especially like:

You just dropped the warhead

That sits in everybody?s pantry

The kind of cemented deniability

Even hubris can?t feed

and

We never made it

You got high

And I got jaded

Umm ... Any kind of explanation, Gabe? There is normally meaning to be found in your poetry, but all I can think of is free writing.

It sounds as if the last two quoted lines could read:

I got High

And you got jaded

:brooding:

Camy

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Maybe I got more out of it, maybe I didn't.

The title's irony is obvious.

The Little Engine that Crashed and Burned

Gabriel Duncan

Wait a minute,

I?m not done yet

How you gonna jet

You were the one

Who helped this wound infect

The bf broke up after causing trouble.

You just dropped the warhead

That sits in everybody?s pantry

The kind of cemented deniability

Even hubris can?t feed

OK, something about homemade, everyday problems, possibly involving cooking food or (eep) home chemistry. (Not the good kind.)

So mortgage your reason

?Cause it only comes in red and green

And you can get it for half off

If you drink a couple 40?s

I'd know the red and green thing. I'm guessing it's Heineken or it's something else more (and yet less) solid.

Yup, about mortgaging reason and getting it for half off.

The 40's, for you non-U.S. folks, a 40 is a beer.

It?s perfect for Christmas

Or any occasion

Drop yourself a line

You don?t need a reason

Ouch. Calling by phone to avoid commitment and involvement,

but also... hope he wasn't doing powdered substances in lines....

Use it on your enemies

But lovers are even better

It?s easier than a voice-mailed,

?Dear John,? letter

Hmm. I think we've gotten into something other than a breakup letter/phone call/email, still involving the things that led to the breakup.

If I?m a waste of time

Even more than the pills

Then I?ll leave with mine

My life and its stills

Until they fade

So he's saying buh-bye, with his stuff (and photos) (and memories) in tow... until they fade.

We never made it

You got high

And I got jaded

That means exactly what it says.

So what?s the point of being taken

If you?re never getting taken back

Perforated while you?re unshaken

You force me to detach

Expressed in terms of cans and bottles of beer, six-packs... a view on the relationship and not being equal partners, metaphorically or physically. (Oh come on, you get it.)

So he's breaking up with the guy.

Sorry it's not good news again, man.

OK, Gabe, how far off from it am I? Feel free to tell me I missed it.

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Guest Rustic Monk

Blue pretty much got that one right. My ex was a drug addict. We got into a fight after he got drunk. Fuck. And the next day he said he remembered the whole thing, and it was wrong of me to drive away from him after two hours of trying to reason. So, yeah. Fuck him.

This was free writing, basically. I took a different idea every verse, I guess. The WARHEAD that even hubris can't feed is the ability to get in an argument with someone and make them feel like shit. GAH. Green is envy, or some other like-minded feeling. And red is rage. Both of them are half off if you let the forty do most of the work. And, yeah, he was snorting crushed pills. The "use it on your enemies" was more about the warhead idea of arguments. Lovers are better because it hurts more.

So what’s the point of being taken

If you’re never getting taken back

Perforated while you’re unshaken

You force me to detach

"So what's the point of dating you, if you won't meet me half way? You're always unconcerned and diappointing, even though I know you don't care. So, fuck you, for forcing me to break up with you. Go snort a pill."

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Quote Blue:

"The 40's, for you non-U.S. folks, a 40 is a beer."

Thanks for that Blue, The 40s was the one thing I had to guess at, the rest of the poem was fairly clear as to what was going on, for me. Your summary is excellent. I'd love to encourage more people to write considerate reviews of our works.

I found the overall poem somewhat a personal reflection, that just had to be said, and I loved many of the phrases Gabe uses. Great imagery.

"Who helped this wound infect"

The second verse is terrific.

And I loved the "mortgage your reason" line.

"Perforated while you?re unshaken

You force me to detach"

I cannot quite get 007 out of my mind when I read that. :huh:

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"I cannot quite get 007 out of my mind when I read that."

Stirred you into action, huh?

Groan.... :huh:

It is not just the "unshaken" but the "force me to detach" related to the "perforation" that connects to Mr. Bond, but that is just me, I'm sure. :huh:

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Guest Rustic Monk

i don't think i understand this time, des. what do "perforation" and 007 have in common, aside from already loosely rhyming. is this a the living daylights, or you only live twice thing?

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Hey Gabe,

As usual, I like what you offer up for us.

As usual, I love the command of words you employ to narrarate your pieces.

As usual, I got lost in the imagery and raw emotion that your work envokes inside me.

And as usual, I had to read your piece over and over again. Not because I didn't understand what you were trying to convey, the piece was quite clear upon my first reading, but just to relish in the way you construct your poems.

Hands down, you are one of my favorite poets. I'm so glad I found you here at Awesome Dude. Reading your poems always challenges me to become a better poet. Great job.

Jason R.

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i don't think i understand this time, des. what do "perforation" and 007 have in common, aside from already loosely rhyming. is this a the living daylights, or you only live twice thing?

Firstly Gabe, I feel I must say that your excellent poem is not the cause of my mentioning 007.

Please forgive an old cinema man for having shown too many movies and therefore suffers from weird connections. (My nightmares consist of Mickey Mouse as a serial murderer. :huh: )

Back to my now sorry, oo7 reference. It is much more generalised than being a specific film.

Like James Bond's famous martini he is himself, unshaken and mostly quite detached as he exercises his 007 licence to kill, usually by making a few perforations in the bad guys with a bullet or two.

There now I warned you I was weird. :huh:

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