War Games

[Spaz-tic]

Maybe they'll remember us then,

when we march in to the cadence.

Straight and narrow,

Stand tall!

Make'em proud,

Ma and Pa.

We played the game

when we were kids,

Now we play

for real.

We play for vengence,

We play for oil,

We play for the

imaginary line in dirt.

We play for honor,

We play for glory,

Until one day,

We're hurt.

And maybe they'll remember us then,

When we're carried in to cadence.

[Bruin Fisher]

Maybe they'll remember us then,

when we march in to the cadence.

Hey, this cool stuff!

Welcome to AD, (what should I call you? Tic? Not happy calling you 'Spaz', in the UK that's a term of abuse in school playgrounds).

Good to have you with us, especially since you can write neat, powerful poetry like this. Super stuff, reminiscent of the First World War poets Siegfried Sassoon and Wilfred Owen and the others.

A brilliant debut, in my humble opinion - well done!

Bruin

[Spaz-tic]

Thanks! And call me what ever you want to call me, lol, I don't care. My nickname is actually Spaz, cause I'm really hyper. It's still a word used to make fun of someone in the states too, but I took it on as a term of endearment of sorts. ^.^

Glad you liked the poem, I'm currently trying to type out the first chapter in the bull pen, would love to hear your comments there as well. = )

Peace,

Dustin Lane

[Bruin Fisher]

I'll call you Dustin, then. Hi, Dustin!!

You're writing a story, and about to post the first chapter in our forum The Bull Pen? That'll be great, can't wait to read it, I love reading good writing from new writers. So... the sooner the better!

Bruin

[Merkin]

Lovely poem. Strong beat, strong message. I hope we will see more.

James Merkin

[Camy]

I like the way you top and tailed it with a spin on the sentiment.

Powerful stuff, and very apt as far too many have been lost for oil.

Camy

[Spaz-tic]

Thanks Merkin, You'll definitely be hearing more from me (I like to write poetry more then stories. XD).

Camy, thanks for the comment, and glad you share my sentiments on the current war. I had wrote this last year in response to a lot of my friends joining the military. I began thinking about how they can march in to cadence but they can also march out to cadence (taps.) Also, which looks way better on paper than typed I found out, I tried to make the body of the poem it's self in the shape of the letter I, from that one recruitment commercial. The "I am an american soldier, I follow the army values, etc."

Glad everyones liked it so far. ^.^ really boosts my confidence.

Peace -

Dustin Lane